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im having a hard time

Posted by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:49 PM
  • 10 Replies
Im not coming to terms well with the idea of my ex taking our girls for a whole night next weekend.

I know he has the right as their dad but it scares the shit out of me.

Im already having a panic attack about it.

I don't want them to go.. Not already. Sure a month ago I thought I could handle it, but now its a week away and its too soon. Hes only been back for 4 mths,, out of town for at least a month of that time. Now I'm handing our babies over to him?! I feel sick to my stomach. How am I going to get through a whole night?
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by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
t1gger143
by Katie on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:57 PM
You will be okay. Besides is he really going to take them or back out.
mommyjenn84
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 11:03 PM
If you had asked me that in January id say.he wouldn't even call again let alone take them. BUT, since then, other than work, hes kept every visit (every Sunday), been on time picking them up and dropping them off. He even asked last week if he could take them to a park (while on his visit) to.see his brother. He calls every few days.and answers almost all calls.


Quoting t1gger143:

You will be okay. Besides is he really going to take them or back out.
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Azmommy0105
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 11:13 PM
Hmm... maybe he's trying to be more responsible. I think that's good he's been picking them up and dropping them off when expected. Pretty sure your trust in him is shot? Have a talk with him... maybe it'll reassure you that things will be fine.
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mommyjenn84
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 11:21 PM
Yes, my trust in him is shot. Theres a lot of history here. And while I know his actions in thr last few.months have been good, its not much for putting our two girls in his hands without a LOT of worry. I do believe hes getting better, but at the same time hes been an abuser some of their lives and a drunk for all of it.

Quoting Azmommy0105:

Hmm... maybe he's trying to be more responsible. I think that's good he's been picking them up and dropping them off when expected. Pretty sure your trust in him is shot? Have a talk with him... maybe it'll reassure you that things will be fine.
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t1gger143
by Katie on Apr. 14, 2012 at 11:24 PM

Wow hopefully this is a good thing and he's changing for the better.
Quoting mommyjenn84:


Azmommy0105
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 11:25 PM
Oh man... yea def have a talk with him.
Let him know you're feeling uneasy because of past issues...
I hope things go smoothly
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mommyjenn84
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 11:29 PM
I hope so too!! Its shocking for me but still really hard to trust. If this one works out he'll get them every other sat until I feel okay with that and then go to every other full weekend.

Quoting t1gger143:



Wow hopefully this is a good thing and he's changing for the better.

Quoting mommyjenn84:


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mommyjenn84
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 11:32 PM
I texted him after I realized that his birthday is next week and that's the night we.had discussed a month ago (I just didn't realize it was a week away after we talked again tonight)... Dh pointed out its next week... And told him I wasn't handling it well and it scared the shit out of me. He offered to let us come by to drop them off and see where.theyll be and whatnot.

Quoting Azmommy0105:

Oh man... yea def have a talk with him.

Let him know you're feeling uneasy because of past issues...

I hope things go smoothly

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Shy_Dia
by Silver Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 11:34 PM

talk with him. be open about it. IMO, if he's truly changing, to be a better person/father- then he has to accept his past actions and take responsibility for them. part of that, is being open to your uneasy feeling and making it so you will feel better. maybe calling them every hour to check on them, maybe having him take them, then you should up for a movie before bed and then you leave while he gets them off to bed for the night. meet up for breakfast in the morning- then you go back home while he goes out with the kids for a while before the drop off time.


i hope it works out for you. i've never been in that position. i'd be a wreck! =( BD wants DS when he gets out of prison, and right now- supervised visits still scare me. lol

Azmommy0105
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 2:26 AM
Ahh that's why. Well that plan sounds good :) hope your nerves ease a little! :) I'm here if u need to talk. You can msg me.

Quoting mommyjenn84:

I texted him after I realized that his birthday is next week and that's the night we.had discussed a month ago (I just didn't realize it was a week away after we talked again tonight)... Dh pointed out its next week... And told him I wasn't handling it well and it scared the shit out of me. He offered to let us come by to drop them off and see where.theyll be and whatnot.



Quoting Azmommy0105:

Oh man... yea def have a talk with him.


Let him know you're feeling uneasy because of past issues...


I hope things go smoothly


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