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trying to feel sexy again after baby.

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 1:45 AM
  • 12 Replies

So..... My daughter is 3 1/2 months old and me and my fiance have sex often great sex. My body is different since then baby. I have lost all but 15lbs since the birth of my daughter but my tummy is flabby. I just stoped nursing and my boobs are saggy. My doc says that they wont be the same but they will perk up a bit in a couple months. Before Reese I had a big butt and flat tummy with a nice figure and  a size small. Now I struggle to feel sexy even though fiance tells me everyday. He loves me and loves my body. Our sex life is great but I still have trouble feeling sexy. I am going throughPPD and I this new body makes me feels terrible. I dont have the motivation on energey to exercise lately while im getting over depression but I hope I can soon. I feel so out of shape durng sex and I feel unsexy and dont want fiance to touch me in some areas. He thinks I am beautiful and doesnt like me feeling the way I do about myself. But he also understands that this is new for me. I am trying to figure out how I can get my extra sexy back and get the motivation for getting in shape. I know I will feel better once I do  but this depression makes me lazy and sad. I never have the energy to do anything now days cuz of it. any ideas? Have you had a hard time getiing comfortable to your new body? Did u get your sexu back? What did you do and how did you handle it? I want to correct this before it starts to effect of sex life or life period

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 1:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ms.sophsmom
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 1:50 AM
I still worry abt this and my DD is almost 3. Express ur feelings to ur partner but PLEASE believe him when he's complimenting you and turned on by you. That will help. I've gained weight since giving birth and am trying to lose it again.. I suggest tummy exercises if Thts ur trouble area.
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gacgbaker
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 8:35 AM

I'm sorry :(

I'd focus on the PPD at this point, then worry about the other side of it- have you talked to your doctor at all about the PPD?  

I remember being pretty upset after our first about my body, but after the 3rd, I just was able to let it go somehow- wish I knew how so I could help you with it more.  :(

bamababe1975
by Gold Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:27 AM

 It takes some time to get used to your new body, but listen to your fiance and believe him when he tells you you're sexy and beautiful because you are! If you think you're suffering from depression, though, please talk to your doctor - he/she can help you truly feel better. ((HUGS))

alexsmomma06
by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:37 AM

I never had that problem after my first 2-my body seemed to go right back to the way it was but I was never really tiny. But after my third, my stomach stayed huge for months, my boobs seemed saggier than ever, and I didn't feel comfortable at all. SO kept reassuring me that he loved me and my body. Once I accepted the fact that my body had changed, I felt better about it. I kept focusing on our 3 girls and telling myself-this is what you traded your body for, 3 beautiful healthy little girls. I am currently working on getting into shape, but it will take time.  It will take time but with work it can get back to what it used to be; or at least close.

Right now, you need to focus on your depression. If you can get that under control, the working out and having confidence will come easier.

Samjoel
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:22 PM

I am having the same exact problem. I used to be really skinny before my son, but now I am chubby and I don't even like getting dressed in the morning because I feel like nothing looks good on me anymore. I had a hard time at the beginning having the energy to want to work out, but once you start working out it will make you feel a lot happier and things will get easier from there. You just got to want it and want it bad....GOOD LUCK!!!

GG24
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 2:51 PM

My doctor gave me meds for the PPD which I have not taken yet. I am a strong person normally and I am trying to get through this without meds. I did hear about some support groups though. I might try them so I can talk to others who are going trhrough the same thing. I am getting better but the laziness just seems to over come sometimes. I have a hard time even getting out od bed. the only thing that keeps me going is my daughter. I make sure she has everything she needs. I know i can start feeling better about myself as soon as I start to gain more energy and lose the weight. I know my issues begain with PPD so I will have to get a hand on that first. At this point I just might have to take the meds. Thanks for the advice. 

Quoting gacgbaker:

I'm sorry :(

I'd focus on the PPD at this point, then worry about the other side of it- have you talked to your doctor at all about the PPD?  

I remember being pretty upset after our first about my body, but after the 3rd, I just was able to let it go somehow- wish I knew how so I could help you with it more.  :(


GG24
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 3:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Thanks girl. I have talked to him about the way I feel but not in detail. He knows that I am used to keeping myself up a certain way and looking a certain way and he also knows about PPD. He just wants to help. I know that he means what he says when he says im sexy or whatever. But its hard for me to feel that way at times. I know he hates when I am down on myself and/or I dont take his compliment. I just feel ugly. We go out and i get alot of attention from guys as always but I just dont feel it. Not saying my fiance isnt enough to make me feel good. I know I dont look terrible and Im not extra fat but I dont fell like myself at this point. He is very suporrtive and loves me to death. I have to get my PPD under control and feel better about myself before I can get my sexy back.

Quoting ms.sophsmom:

I still worry abt this and my DD is almost 3. Express ur feelings to ur partner but PLEASE believe him when he's complimenting you and turned on by you. That will help. I've gained weight since giving birth and am trying to lose it again.. I suggest tummy exercises if Thts ur trouble area.


GG24
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 3:09 PM

Thanks alot I have talked to her and she wants me to take meds for PPD. I havent been taking them I will try some support groups before I take the meds. I realize I need help at this point to deal with this issue

Quoting bamababe1975:

 It takes some time to get used to your new body, but listen to your fiance and believe him when he tells you you're sexy and beautiful because you are! If you think you're suffering from depression, though, please talk to your doctor - he/she can help you truly feel better. ((HUGS))


GG24
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 3:20 PM

yeah i agree. I used to work out before my daughter and it was hard at first but i used to feel much better when I worked out. My engergy level is low from depression but I guess I just have to go for it and do it. thanks.

Quoting Samjoel:

I am having the same exact problem. I used to be really skinny before my son, but now I am chubby and I don't even like getting dressed in the morning because I feel like nothing looks good on me anymore. I had a hard time at the beginning having the energy to want to work out, but once you start working out it will make you feel a lot happier and things will get easier from there. You just got to want it and want it bad....GOOD LUCK!!!


RantingSyko
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 3:33 PM

I know, I had the same fears, everyone tells you things go back to normal but that early, you sit down, look at everything sagging and floppy and you can't help but feel 80 years old>.<  The boobs tighten back up once the milk dries up and you give it a bit, I prooomise.  I HATED after she fed, how gross they looked and felt to me>.<  (sorry to be so descriptive), but it gets better, mine aren't small, so they've always been a little more...pendulous than some, so maybe I noticed it less, but they'll tighten back up a bit, as will your tummy, everything isn't in the right place still, I hated that weird stretching feeling inside after she was born>.<  You'll need to exercise once you feel able though, it took me MUCH more than 3 months to get back to where I felt like I could get up and do stuff like that, don't feel bad that you aren't the mama who was out power walking 2 days after you got home, not a big deal! but it won't all tighten up on it's own, I lost great weight BFing, but once I stopped, I gained some back, so I'm working on it now, but it's going:) Don't let your body get you down, you look this way now cause you brought a beautiful life into the world, your husband will love you no matter what it sounds like, good luck honey:)  If you ever want someone to talk to, I know I'm not going through it now, but I dealt with minor PPD when Scar was born, I'm a SAHM and always home, happy to have someone to sit around and talk to:)

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