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Ahhhhhhhhh! what?!? NO!

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:45 PM
  • 5 Replies
So.. idk if anyone follows my posts.. but a bit of background. Dh & I are working on things after last weeks "incident".. or trying anyway. My in-laws are nuts (well bil's.. anyway)

My bil texted dh Sunday night.. "can I crash on your couch tonite?" Being the sometimes too nice people we are.. we said "sure" (he just got out of jail, is in the middle of what's turning out to be a nasty divorce.. litterly has nowhere to go) anywho.. he has spent Sunday, Monday & Tuesday night on our couch.. and it's looking like the next few days too. He spends his days looking for a job, doing things around the house, setting up appointments with his doctor/lawyer, he's helped buy food, given us gas money (offered money for whatever we've needed since he's been here) cleans up after himself. The perfect houseguest essentially.

But... I am a very private person, I like my home to be my private haven. I don't even invite people to dinner or have parties very often, because I don't like this space being infringed upon.

He went to the welfare office today & turned in his apparently for fs & medical. (I have.never seen anything happen this fast) he came home a little bit ago with an access card & told me there would be $200 on it tomorrow, if I need any groceries, let him know. And that they're just waiting on a fax from his Dr. to get his medical started. (Wtf! I helped him fill out the app. at 11! And he's got it already?) None of this is a huge deal.. then he goes on to say that they're also faxing something to his probation officer to keep him informed of the situation. WHAT?! No. If your probation officer sees this as the "place you're living" then we have to follow probationary rules to insure he stays out of jail. Two of which (and these are the two that bug me the most) are that we can have no alcohol on the premises & that they can do random home inspections at any time. We didn't break the law, we're helping a guy out. We have 3 small children. I'm not going to have them woken up by an inspection at 11pm.. or have random people digging through my closets and drawers at anytime of day. Not to mention, if I want to have a beer on a Friday night, you can damn well bet I'll have one on my own front porch. I am okay with him couch surfing for a few days.. he's my dh's brother (aka: family... a big deal in their lives) I don't mind all that. But we don't have the room to have him here for weeks on end. Hubby was on probation when we met and first lived together. I'm not living like that again
But if we tell him he needs to leave, he'll litterly be sleeping in his car (that belongs to.friends.of his.. but he's using as long as he maintains.) Idk what to do.. or say.. or think... dh texted to say he's.on his way home from work.. I really REALLY need him to get here before his brother gets back. I haven't had any "alone" time to talk to him in 4 days.. I feel like an ass. But I can't take it!!!

Sry it's long (and for any typos) I just needed to get it out!
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by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:45 PM
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Replies (1-5):
MamatoGirls210
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:50 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't think you sound like an ass, you shouldn't have to put your family through that.
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EmmaZate
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:56 PM

I would say since he Literally has NO place to go, and with a number of days, Give him a set time frame to be out by, and then help him find a job and apartment. I know that you dont want to make him live in the car or on the streets (Which unfortunately is where a lot of people end up when they get out of jail, and why there are a lot of 2nd time offenders.) so help him a little. I know it will be difficult, but what would you want him to do if it was reversed.

And I know that he got himself into this, and Im not saying this is your responsibility, I know that you care tho, cause I can tell from your Post. Good Luck mama

Wifey to Mat, Mommy to Beautiful Payten and 2 sweet Angel babies

LML1
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:57 PM

Sorry to hear. I hope everything works out.

GCSOmom
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:00 PM
I WISH my in-laws were that helpful! We've had almost every member of the family our age live with us and it's pretty much been a nightmare every time. If its that big of an issue to you help him find a job and an income-based living situation.
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mrscass0416
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:09 PM
I say do it. He seems like he is trying to get back on the right track and needs a little help. He is being a awesome house guest if I do say so myself. Be proud of him and help him out. You never know. U may need him one day.
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