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20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

Pretty sure this will get me bashed on

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but my 15yo SS drives me FREAKING insane! He has become so disrespecful and mean. There are times I really can't stand him and wish he would go back to his moms. He is teaching my 4 yo twins to act the same. They are starting to talk back and swear. When I ask them where they learn those words from they say their big brother. He is also teaching them to be mean to my DD. He is so mean to her and calls her names so now they do it too. 

We have also cought him stealing from his dad and I. I feel like I have to put locks on my fridge because he will take food that is just for his dad and I (we have certant treats we buy for ourselves because we can't eat what we buy them). I will get something that is for the whole family to share and it will dispear and the wrappers will end up in his room. Just the other night (I was at work and his dad was at school) He made one of those big enchalada dinners that feeds a family and ate half of it himself! The worst part is he didn't even dish anything up for his little brothers and we have always told the older kids the babies eat first.

He has pulled pellet guns and knives on his younger brothers and sisters, so I am scared for them. Sometimes it frightens me to leave them a lone with him. 

He is failing all his classes in school. No matter how much I check on his grades and go over missing assignments and ask him if he needs help he just slacks off. We try to talk to him about how important school is and how hard it is to try and make up for it later but he just doesn't care.

I'm pregnant so I'm way more bitchy then normal. I am just tired of trying any more. I want to just give up and send him back to his moms so I don't have to deal with his bad attitued.

His dad doesn't want to do anything about it leagle wise because he doesn't want his son to get into any type of system. We are starting him on counciling the 2nd but I'm worried it wont help.

Anyone else feel this way about SKs? I have a SD (btw) who I used to not get a long with but is a peach now. Sadly she is going to live with her mom after school is over. I deff will miss her. Her mom just moved to WA but wanted the kids to finish out school.

Well vent over....

 BabyFruit Ticker
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 5:41 PM
Replies (61-64):
areid1023
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 11:09 PM

yeah. what about counseling for the self proclaimed hormonal step mom?  she IS the adult, afterall. lord knows i'll probably need some pointers when my kid is 15. 

Quoting Pandi653:

Thats not fair to make him choose between his children though. I think counseling is a good 'next step'. If that doesnt work then try the next step. Our children need us, even at 15. Good luck though, I hope the counseling works. Xo


Quoting xo.MommyW.xo:

Send his ass back to his moms. I would tell dh it was us or his ds


 my little bug! 11-29-08

ooCherryo0
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 7:31 PM

I put dinner out for them when DH and I are not going to be home. We have asked him to dish up the little ones before he dishes up his own because he is older and they can not dish up their own food. 

I NEVER said I wish he would go away. I said sometimes I want to send him back to his mom. I love him like my own. I said there are times I wish he would go back to his moms but that is not the same. He will always be in my life even if his dad and I ever do split up. When DH and I split up for 4 months I always had SS and SD over at my apartment to go swimming, spend time with me and my kids, and they were always sleeping over. 

He would babysit once maybe twice a week (if we needed him too). I know that is not the reason why his grades are bad. Because he sits at the kitchen table and "does his home work" ever night. I don't know if he is just not turning it in or if he isn't really doing it. Most of the time when he is watching the kids it is my SD and DD that ends up watching them and playing with them. Both their homework gets done and turned in. 

I don't get how the food thing is weird? I only said he is getting into his dad and my food. I have a whole pantary of treats for them (that DH and I can't eat because of our surgery). I have a small closet of food that his dad and I can eat for ourselves. I don't have a lot of money for him to go through a weeks worth of food in just two days. I also don't think it's fair that he eats all his then gets into ours. Its called respect.

But the food is besides the point. He is also stealing money from us and other weird shit. Like I once found my old nipple ring in his room (talk about weird), and a cross neckelace that my grandmother gave me before she passed away. I also find my 4 yo toy army guys and cars in his room all the time. The little boys dont care if he plays with them but he is hiding them in his room so they can't play with them...

He has the same rules about food at his moms house so it's not so uncommon... If my kids were to eat when ever they want it would be all the time and then I would get bashed for them being over weight. 

Quoting areid1023:

i think the food thing is weird. 

what was he supposed to eat when you and your husband werent home? was he supposed to feed the kids? even if he was i would see that more as a favor to y'all...or is it just assumed that he babysits when y'all arent home? maybe that has something to do with him not finishing his homework and getting bad grades. 

15 year olds are pains. i know i was. you're the stepmom...that wishes he would just go away. you dont think that he knows that? 

its a crappy situation. and i feel for you. really. but you signed up for this. he didnt. food restrictions and expected babysitting? yeah, there are going to be more problems than necessary. and im glad your husband at least doesnt want him thrown in the system. its his kid for crying outloud.


 BabyFruit Ticker
amandaxshawn08
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 7:41 PM
I have the same issues with my sd.
She is five n a half.
Doesnt listen.
Is mean to my son who is 18 months.
Hits him, pushes him,
has ran and belly flopped
on him while he was laying down!
She is 62 lbs and he is 30lbs!!

She is rude to me.
Disrespects us and ds things.
Cries like a two year old when shes
Told no or corrected for anything!

Heres the kicker...
She only comes on weekends!!!
She lives with hubs mom!
She is an aweful little girl.
We have tried to help her, but my god..
Its pointless!

We were already told when shes 13 shes coming to stay with us, simply because i was raised old school by my dad. He was strict but fair. Now being an adult, i can understand why and mom raised me and did what they did was all for a good reason!!!

This girl needs help now. Not at 13. But his mom wont send her to us any sooner, and she needs it!!

I hate weekends. I hate her coming over. But i dont hate her, just her actions and attitude. Its absurd!!!
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Beauty91805
by Jazmine on Apr. 28, 2012 at 7:45 PM
Quoting xo.MommyW.xo:

Send his ass back to his moms. I would tell dh it was us or his ds



What a selfish ultimatum.
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