and the first tears of the day were brought on by...
today my mama should be 46, but instead will forever be 32. My parents were divorced when she died 13 years ago. Even with the hell they both went through together and then the divorce... He death still affected him in ways Id never understand. He isn't all that emotional on the outside... He thinks he needs to hold it in... Ive seen him cry very few times in my life.. And can pretty much remember them all... When I was in second grade and leaving with a friend for spring break, we never saw him.back then but I stopped by right before I left and he cried while he held me.... Then the 2nd year anniversary after her death, he took yhat whole week off work, I didn't realize why till I caught him,crying the day of... On my wedding last year he cried, and I don't think so much because I was married now, hell I had lived on my own for years and had three kids by then, but because my mom had to miss it... And the last was when his uncle died late last year.. Maybe a few times between, but these are what I remember.
April 10th marked 13 years since the morning I found my mom dead. And today, my dad just sent me this picture.. Saying he thought my sister and I would appreciate it and that he loved us. And so broke my hold on the tears. I know hell never forget her, but its comforting knowing hes thinking of her, and maybe even hurting for her, when I am.
This post is totally random and more just needed to release emotionally, than anything.. So thank you for reading if you made it this far.