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20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

Fed up!

Posted by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:06 PM
  • 10 Replies

I know I'm probably going to get some greif for this post, but oh well...I just want honest opinions.

I'm 21 going on 22, my husband is 32. We have two children together ages 2 and 3, and a he has a son from a previous relationship who is 10. We have dss everyother weekend and most of the summer. I am a sahm right now, for a few reasons...One being we can't afford daycare, and even if I did get a job it would be pointless since we live out in the boonies my whole check would be GONE after gass, and daycare. Another being we live on a farm with LOTS of livestock that *I* care for as well as my children. My husband farms so most of the year he isn't around...or he is sleeping. I'm SO fed up with his job I'm really considering leaving! 

We live with DH's parents, my father in law has prostate cancer and he wants us here. Not only that but DH makes $380 a week...and he isn't even paying child support yet!!! O.o Once that is set he'll be bringing home even less! There is NO way we could afford to move out. We DID move to Colorado last year, but we were asked to come back home because my FIL was missing the kids and didn't want to miss out on them in fear he didn't have much time left...BUT now he is really nasty with me, and is talking about me to people and it's getting back to me. It really hurts my feelings! We used to be pretty close! My MIL and I are still very close and we vent to each other. I love her like a mom and I love him like a dad, but can't take the hostile enviroment any longer! I think hubby needs to get a diffrent job that pays more, FIL says no.

See here is another problem my husband likes to sleep...a lot! He will come home from work sit down eat dinner and fall asleep in his recliner, then either get up and go to work or sleep until he damn well pleases. Mean while I have animals to feed, children to wake up and get ready for the day, stalls to clean, horses to work and groom, lunch, potty training, then we have a "school hour" (the kids will be going to school, I just want to give them a head start) then we do a clean up of the house, not to mention I do laundrey ALL day long, then dishes, then feed again, then dinner, bath and bed....then do it all again the next day. I go NO where, I do NOTHING. I do not have a car. We live out in the middle of NO WHERE so walking some where isn't an option. It's just me and the kids all day. He helps with NOTHING! I'm SO fed up with getting NO help around here and being expected to do everything! I mentioned doing on line classes, and my FIL gave me a look...and let me tell you if looks could kill I wouldn't be typing this right now!Lol. Any ways he said I would rather you worked or did something besides sit in my house all day... O.O WHAT!!!!!! 

So I told my mother in law yestorday I'm considering leaving...selling my horse and getting the hell outta here. She said she understands, and that I'm right and she is sorry things are the way they are. Well so am I. :(


If you all made it through this Kudos to you!!! ;) I'm looking for opinions on how to maybe manage my time better so I can get more done, so my father in law isn't upset  with me all the time, or how to talk to my DH to get him to understand what I'm feeling, or what you think of my situation all together. Thanks everyone! :)

by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Grace0409
by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:14 PM
Have you tried talking to your DH and telling him how his father is acting and how you feel... I would let you FIL know that you are only there per his request to spend time with the kids...
I would try talking to your hubby if he doesn't respond or at least help u out and talk yo his dad I would tell him that you are leaving bc if you do it alone now you might as well go somewhere where your happy and be alone..
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GirlWSlingshot
by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:15 PM
Woosah!! You must be exhausted. I don't think you have a time management problem. I think you have too much to do and not enough time to do it in. I don't think there is a whole lot you can do to change the situation while you're living with his parents.

Your husband sounds like he's clinically depressed, with the sleeping all the time. Perhaps stemming from the fact that he's stuck in his parent's house. What's stopping him from getting a better paying job so you guys can gain some independence?
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LoveMyLos
by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:20 PM
2 moms liked this

i want a horse:(

tazmidgiefairy
by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:24 PM
he can work on a farm but not help u that does not seem fair I would say something to both of them
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BroodMare
by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:36 PM

He maybe deppressed but that isn't why he sleeps all the time, he has always been like that even as a child and his mother and her brother are the same way, except they will get up when they have to to go to work. He won't look for another job because he is working for his dad's best friend and he knows he can dick around and not get fired. In the three years we have been married he has had 5 or 6 jobs, NOT counting this one. I have NO family here to help me if I were to leave, I would have NO where to go. I really don't have any other options but to stay here...I only talk about it.Lol I love working with the animals, and If I were to go to school I would want to go for something that had to do with animal husbandry. We bredd, show and sell.

BroodMare
by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:36 PM

so in a sence I guess that is my job.Lol

VictoriousTory
by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:43 PM

Girl you do ENOUGH and if it isn't good enough for the old man, FUCK HIM. Obviously your DH learned his laziness from someone right? I udnerstand he has cancer but that shouldnt make you a mean evil person. He should be THANKFUL y ou are there to feed all the animals. Not to mention take care of 2 little ones ALL DAY AND NIGHT BY YOURSELF!!!!!! You are amazing and I would be fed up too! I would lay it out on the line for your DH and if he loves you he will change... if not... its time to hit the road Jack! 

nay693
by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:56 PM
Tell hmm exactly what u told us the same exact way and if he Dosent GET it, theN I'd leave his ASS
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only7ofus
by on May. 4, 2012 at 2:04 PM

Try explaining to your husband what you just posted.  I don't see why your FIL has a problem with you taking onlince courses. ( its not his decision it yours)  You still can care for your children, animals and take classes.  Do something now so that if you have to leave later you will have a degree/ or certification.  They have some online courses which only takes a year.  Good luck.  You don't deserve to be treated that way no one does.  

BroodMare
by on May. 4, 2012 at 2:25 PM

Okay so...I'm best taking care of things outside and I HATE house work...I do probably 10 or more loads of Laundrey a day, and we pick up before the kids take their naps then again right before my FIL comes home from work. He says he is tierd of his house looking like a shit hole...I'm sorry but I have two small children, there are and will be toys out as long as they are young enough that they are playing with toys. There will always be laundrey backed up...maybe if they did their own laundrey I would have more time to get our own done. Maybe they could pick up their side of the house and I could just worry about our side...BUT I feel like I can't say anything to them about it since it is THEIR house. Ya know what I mean? And yes I could sell my mare, but honestly she is my only escape...at the end of a horrible stressful day she is my release. I got her when I was 15, trained her myself and have done awesome in shows with her. She was my only friend when my supposed to be best friends dad sexualy molested me and all the kids in HS were sure I was lieing about it. She was the only "person" I had to talk to and cry on. She was with me through a lot and I feel like if I let her go then I've lost everything, I gave up a lot to be a mom, and stay at home wife...I think it would just further my depression.

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