There's a long story but I'll try to sum it up. I moved across the country. My ex doesn't like it. Cost me LOTS of money in legal fees to fight to stay here (with him having reasonable visitation). HE chose not to exercise his visitation for 18 months. For the whole first year after our established order was put in place (the one in which he requested and was granted 3 weekly phone calls), he didn't initiate ANY (not 1 single one) phone calls. My daughter called him once a week, on average, at my request to her. After about a year of this, she started saying she didn't want to call him since he never calls her. So, I spoke with him about this (without her knowing of course). A month goes by, still nothing from him. Again, I tell him this is causing her some insecurity and she feels he doesn't want to talk to her. He makes a little effort for a couple weeks. Then, nothing for months. I decided that he has turned down his visitation and not shown much interest in even speaking to her so, I request a modification of our parenting plan to protect her from being put in an uncomfortable situation and to keep her from getting hurt. Our new order requires that he initiate phone calls, visits are daytime only for the first 2 days so she can adjust and they are done either here where we live or with me traveling with her so that I am close should she decide she needs some familiarity. And if his absence repeats itself again or if it exeeds 1 year again, he must visit her here for all future visits, unless we happen to be visiting my family in which I will permit reasonable visitation. Also, if he is more than $1,000 behind in child support, he is responsible for 100% of travel expenses, otherwise it's 50/50. Well, on his facebook after being served with the papers that the judge granted this new order, he posted on his facebook that he is upset that he has to follow my rules and that i am doing everything possible to push him out of her life, and if i keep pushing his buttons, i will get to see how mean he can be and i won't like the outcome and i dont wanna put myself in that position. I guess he doesn't consider secretly texting him to say "Call your kid, a good time would be ____" and texting/calling to let him know about her report card and what she has going on or e-mail pictures I think he would like to see, things he wants me to do. Apparently, doing all that is pushing him out of his kids life. If I was the bitch he thinks I am, I would tell my daughter all the times he called was only because I texted him to remind him that he should. But no, I care enough about my daughter that I want her to feel like her Dad wants to talk to her. Anyway, the dilema is that when I visit my family in Sept (which is close to him), I promised my daughter that she would get to visit her Dad no matter what. Now, it makes me worry what he will do. He has nothing to lose by running with her. His family is estranged. He doesn't have the greatest job. His girlfriend is a nut case. He also has a violent history, used to be aimed toward our daughter but he hasn't done that in a long time and I trust he wouldn't be violent to her but me and my family, I'm not sure. So, do I let him have time with her? Do I follow to make sure he doesn't take off with her? Do I have a neutral person do the exchange? Do I make him do the visit in a public place where I can be close?