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My ex threatened me on his public facebook!!!

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There's a long story but I'll try to sum it up. I moved across the country. My ex doesn't like it. Cost me LOTS of money in legal fees to fight to stay here (with him having reasonable visitation). HE chose not to exercise his visitation for 18 months. For the whole first year after our established order was put in place (the one in which he requested and was granted 3 weekly phone calls), he didn't initiate ANY (not 1 single one) phone calls. My daughter called him once a week, on average, at my request to her. After about a year of this, she started saying she didn't want to call him since he never calls her. So, I spoke with him about this (without her knowing of course). A month goes by, still nothing from him. Again, I tell him this is causing her some insecurity and she feels he doesn't want to talk to her. He makes a little effort for a couple weeks. Then, nothing for months. I decided that he has turned down his visitation and not shown much interest in even speaking to her so, I request a modification of our parenting plan to protect her from being put in an uncomfortable situation and to keep her from getting hurt. Our new order requires that he initiate phone calls, visits are daytime only for the first 2 days so she can adjust and they are done either here where we live or with me traveling with her so that I am close should she decide she needs some familiarity. And if his absence repeats itself again or if it exeeds 1 year again, he must visit her here for all future visits, unless we happen to be visiting my family in which I will permit reasonable visitation. Also, if he is more than $1,000 behind in child support, he is responsible for 100% of travel expenses, otherwise it's 50/50. Well, on his facebook after being served with the papers that the judge granted this new order, he posted on his facebook that he is upset that he has to follow my rules and that i am doing everything possible to push him out of her life, and if i keep pushing his buttons, i will get to see how mean he can be and i won't like the outcome and i dont wanna put myself in that position. I guess he doesn't consider secretly texting him to say "Call your kid, a good time would be ____" and texting/calling to let him know about her report card and what she has going on or e-mail pictures I think he would like to see, things he wants me to do. Apparently, doing all that is pushing him out of his kids life. If I was the bitch he thinks I am, I would tell my daughter all the times he called was only because I texted him to remind him that he should. But no, I care enough about my daughter that I want her to feel like her Dad wants to talk to her. Anyway, the dilema is that when I visit my family in Sept (which is close to him), I promised my daughter that she would get to visit her Dad no matter what. Now, it makes me worry what he will do. He has nothing to lose by running with her. His family is estranged. He doesn't have the greatest job. His girlfriend is a nut case. He also has a violent history, used to be aimed toward our daughter but he hasn't done that in a long time and I trust he wouldn't be violent to her but me and my family, I'm not sure.  So, do I let him have time with her? Do I follow to make sure he doesn't take off with her? Do I have a neutral person do the exchange? Do I make him do the visit in a public place where I can be close?

by on May. 5, 2012 at 1:36 AM
Replies (21-24):
ReiReally
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:08 PM

Screenshot that fb page.
Don't forget that some people just want something to complain about and being an ex with his kid, you make a fantastic target.
Besides that, why not give your daughter a cellphone with a GPS tracker engaged and let her know that her father is NOT allowed to take it from her on days she's visiting him and if he does, she needs to try and end the visit right then and there....granted he didn't take it away because she was paying more attention to it than her... but make sure she knows better and that it stays charged and on her person at all times.

  

Miranda1018628
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:14 PM

I agree with the "oh hell no". If anyone ever did this to my child I would make sure they never saw him again! No child should have to go through that!

Quoting cherib82:

Oh hell no. And I would be asking for a new judge to see over the case

Quoting huntin_mama:

He started screaming 2 inches from her face at 2 days old and starting hitting her at 5 months and smacking her on her head at 8 months and it just got bad and when she would cry i would do everything i could to get to her first and when i took showers i always did it when he was gone to keep from being away from her. even to go to the gas station for a quick gallon of milk, i took her with me everywhere. we didnt go in front of a judge until she was about 3 and we had been separated for over a year because he agreed that he wasnt ready to have her unsupervised so we just met at public places until then. then he got a visitation order but then he jerked her out of bed by her feet and scraped her back on the bed frame and dragged her across the floor by her feet, face down and gave her rug burn on her chin when she was 3 and he didnt get her for a while. he was suppose to take parenting classes but never did. judge gave him regular visitation because she's old enough to stand up for herself according to him.

Quoting ShayNBrysMommy:

If you don't mind me asking, what history of violence does he have towards your daughter? Did he abuse her or threaten to? I'm asking because my sons dad threatened to kill my son after he physically abused me, so my son has nocontact with him. I am worried a judge will grant him some kind of visitation..did a judge grant your daughters father visitation even though he was violent towards her?



huntin_mama
by Member on May. 7, 2012 at 12:26 AM

She is 8 years old and she wants to see her Dad. She wants to talk to him and when he calls she gets excited. When he doesn't call, she is not interested in calling him because she says he doesn't call her enough so she's not gonna call him. I think she is testing him to see if he will call her. I don't put her in the middle. I ask her what she wants and we discuss how to help that to happen and we discuss how we can handle it if it doesn't happen, regarding visits.

Quoting dobrd:

huntin_mama, No disrespect  but, if you can't live w/him then, why are you forcing him on your DD?? Don't go behind her back to speak for her.. You can't 'MAKE' him do anything.. All it causes is more drama w/her in the middle.. Why would you insist pushing her on him when he could care less?? He has a violent history?? You want your DD seeing this w/his DF?? Are you really aware what you just posted?? There is no way my kids would ever be around someone like him, court ordered or not.. You have all these people involved, but, you never said/asked DD how she feels/wants to do.. Don't know how old she is but, all I hear is being pushed around verbally/emotionally by you/ex.. I wouldn't go out of my way to take her to see him at all.. You need to stop calling him about this poor Lil girl.. It's wrong.. Take Care, Donna....


huntin_mama
by Member on May. 7, 2012 at 12:28 AM

This is a good idea. I hadn't thought about this. Her visit will be daytime only so she can have it in her pocket and I can explain to her that it's only for in case she gets uncomfortable and wants to call me. I don't need to scare her by telling her my fears of him running off.

Quoting ReiReally:

Screenshot that fb page.
Don't forget that some people just want something to complain about and being an ex with his kid, you make a fantastic target.
Besides that, why not give your daughter a cellphone with a GPS tracker engaged and let her know that her father is NOT allowed to take it from her on days she's visiting him and if he does, she needs to try and end the visit right then and there....granted he didn't take it away because she was paying more attention to it than her... but make sure she knows better and that it stays charged and on her person at all times.


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