How do you tell a 4 year old...

[LilD87]

How do you tell a 4 1/2 year old that someone passed away? On Friday while he was camping with his papa, my grandmother passed away. He knew her, and saw her pretty often, she was living with my mother. So not telling him as my dad suggested isnt going to cut it. My mother just told me to tell him she went to heaven to live with the angels, which doesnt sound half bad...except the catch of, we are not religous in my house hold, and DS's knowledge of Heaven doesnt extend past "all dogs go to heaven." He isnt attending the visitiation bc I dont want to scare him, but on saturday (she is being creamated) I am going to take him to the memorial service. Any suggestions?

[Dollyrot]

My sister died before I had kids. My oldest is three now, and when I show him photos of her and talk to him about her, I simply say she died, and isn't here anymore. He can't grasp what death really is, so that's the best way I've found to make him understand as best I can.

[Charliesmommy11]

First you need to find out to what extinct does he know about death. It's usually around 6-8 when they start understanding what death means. But in some cases they understand sooner just not on a grand scale. After you find out what he knows about death them you can approach the subject of his great grandma passing away. No need to fancy it up to much into kid friendly terms it will just make it harder in the future for him to know and understand what death means.

[maryjmom]

 That is really hard....I don't know. My Nanny passed away when my DD was almost 1, and I told her that her Granana ( what she called my Nanny ) wasn't here anymore, but she would always be with her in her heart.

When I walked up to the coffin with DD in my arms, she looked down at my Nanny and said * Bye Granana....miss you love you *. I broke down.

My dad was all for telling my DD that my Nanny had went to sleep, but I didn't do that. I was too scared it would make DD afraid of falling asleep.

[ermka]

Are you athiest or just not religious? We're not an uber religious family either.. but we're not unbelieving. My dd was 4 1/2 and grasped the concept of heaven pretty well.. I think it gives them the security of knowing that just because they can't see a person anymore, that that person is always with you & is in a happy place.... rather than some scary finality of death..Kwim?

So sorry for your loss..

[cupcake_mom]

 hmmmm. im not sure since you guys are not religous in any way. when my gma passed my dd knew a little about heaven but that is because my mom and my gma(who she was really close to) are religous so it was easy for me to do what your mother said.

i guess it is up to what you believe happens to a person when they die. sorry for your lose

[ProudMomma1022]

I had to tell my son at 2 well juat 3 weeks shy of being 3 that my dad died and i told him that he went to heaven and was watching over us but wasnt going to be around any more. To this day (4 1/2) he knows that papa is in heaven and watching over us he even draws pics for papa and makes me buy a helium balloon so he can send it to papa :) i have a small urn with my dads ashes on a shelf in my living room and when ds is old enough to understand i will explain what the urn is, but for now its my special purple dust :)

[NovaChick26]

are you religious at all ??? my DD is the same age , when he great grandma passed I just told her that great grandma went on to live in heaven because she was in to much pain and wasnt very comfortable , so she went to heaven where she felt no more pain and could be with other family and friends who had passed and watch over us .

[TempestRayne]

I would stick to the heaven idea if you just aren't particularly religious, bit aren't athiest either.

[Cafe Amanda]

My grandfather (who my kids also saw very often) passed away just before my oldest son turned five, and we just explained it simply but matter-of-factly - that his great grandfather was very old, and he died, and even though we can't see or visit him anymore, we can always talk about him and look at pictures and remember him. I didn't want to get into the idea of heaven, either (we're not religious) and thankfully just the very basic reference to "not being here" anymore was enough for my son.

I'm sorry for your loss! :(

[clusterkid]

My oldest was 4 when our youngest son passed away. Here is a link that helped us 

http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/death.html