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Engaged, without rings.

Posted by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:44 PM
  • 10 Replies

Do you consider an engagement with no rings, real?

I am not a material person, and I really wanted to take the next step with DF, we live together, have a child together, do everything together, and we had been planning on getting married as soon as we can afford it.

so df talked to me about being engaged, and the conversation ended with us being engaged, but we had no rings because we cannot afford them rightnow. We are close, but not quite there yet.

But my family does not count it because we don't have rings, and they say part of the commitment is others knowing youve commited yourself to the other person for life and without the ring they don't know that.

to me, a ring is a beautiful show of your commitment to a person, but, it's just a shiny peice of metal. So it hasn't been too importiant to me, but today a dear friend of mine said "wheres the ring then" when I told her we had decided to be engaged and plan out our wedding soon.


what do you think, is the ring importiant?

by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GirlWSlingshot
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:51 PM
1 mom liked this

 I would want something physical, but I enjoy the symbolism of my ring. I don't think not having a ring makes you any less engaged, but I can understand how your family feels about it too. It's nice to have physical proof to show the world that you're engaged.

 If you're looking for some inexpensive rings, try http://www.inspiredsilver.com/

young-mommy10
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:52 PM
Personally no, I don't feel the ring is THAT important. It was same for us, we've lived together for over 2 years and our son is now 17 months. we got engaged when our son turned 1. He did have a ring, but even still, we had talked about it before and how you feel about each other doesn't change, IMO. I don't feel like a ring should have to be on your finger to tell others your commited to someone, your actions should show that. What is important is that YOU know how you feel, YOU know your engaged, YOU know that eventually you will have the ring when you guys are in a place to get it. So brush off the comments :) you and your df know where you stand in your life and relationship! And congrats :) GL planning your wedding!
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KrissyMama88
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:54 PM
you know lol me and dh have been married for ten months and have yet to get rings. He has a caladdah (sp) ring he wears and i have a bracelet he made out of strings from an indian blanket. A lot of people think we're not really married because of not having rings. I prefer not having a ring because i get a lot of things stolen from me and i don't want to lose another ring.
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alreadydidthis
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:54 PM
Been married for 5yo and i have a ring but i dont wear it all the time. It doesnt mean that much to me. Imo
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Jaxsonsmama2009
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2012 at 11:55 PM
It was important to me, but we could afford it and he had no good reason to NOT get me a ring. Does that make sense??? If you guys can't really afford it right now then what can you really do?
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nqmochafrappe
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:55 PM
Just for others, just like wearing a sign on our foreheads that say married, u know but other than that, not to each other it shouldn't b. I'm sorry but I was wondering if u guys r planning on an actual wedding? Just sounds like something not in your budget by how u described your situation. I ask because we got married @civil court, I had a dress and great pics @a photography studio but to me what counted was the pics cuz they last more than a lifetime, the actual marriage certificate and the rings cuz well yeah, like I said it tells the world ur taken:) I wouldn't change anything. Ps, I still don't have my wedding band just my engagement ring but we have 2kids lol so I think that's bigger than any wedding band:) lol
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mommy2annaliese
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:56 PM

Thanks guys! and thanks for the link!!!

glad to hear others agree, and i feel a lot better.

Quoting GirlWSlingshot:

 I would want something physical, but I enjoy the symbolism of my ring. I don't think not having a ring makes you any less engaged, but I can understand how your family feels about it too. It's nice to have physical proof to show the world that you're engaged.

 If you're looking for some inexpensive rings, try http://www.inspiredsilver.com/


aimhawk
by on May. 17, 2012 at 12:04 AM

The love and relationship is what is important. He was able to buy me a ring and we picked out our bands. Then on our 3 year wedding anniversary he bought me a bigger ring. I wear both sets, but for the past year haven't been able to because we can't get them sized. I do like the symbolism of them, because everywhere I go people see his ring and don't see me wearing on or when I take the kids to the doctor they ask questions about the father and I'm like dur he's my husband.

Hevmccann
by on May. 17, 2012 at 1:28 AM
I asked for a promise ring when SO and I got serious. He desided that if I was gonna have one then so was he. We ended up with matching rings that we both love. When we finally get married they will be our wedding rings. So while we are engaged we will be ringless.

To each their own. If you don't see its nessary right now then its ok. You know and understand your relationship status and that's all that matters. If your family wants a ring on your finger then tell them to buy it for you. Sorry if that sounds harsh, not meaning for it to..
SoLuckysAngel
by on May. 17, 2012 at 2:10 AM
I didnt get my engagement ring until a couple days before our wedding. We were engaged 10 months. It bothered him that he wasn't able to afford one more than it bothered me.
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