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Suggestions?? Ideas??? Opinions?? Anything ...I need some help!!!

Posted by on May. 17, 2012 at 12:13 PM
  • 10 Replies

SO, Im leaving to PR with my girls to see my mom and grandprents. My husband(married for 4 yrs) decided to stya bc of $$$....crap! My issue is that he seems to be perfectly fine about me leaving. He s making plans, letting people know that im leaving.  Im starting to feel extremely insecure and bad about myslef. I have been feeling bad about myself for a long time. I gain weight after my last pregnancy and i just cant loose it, i feel really ugly and i feel as if i dont get any attention at all. For example, even when i go to the stores i dont even have guys looking at me.  * we have to be honest, it does feel good when a guy is looking at u! Not touching or saying nasty things but actually admiring that u look pretty*.  I just need something....he says he loves me, we have sex like once or twice a wk. Its just not enough for me.  i know that if i loose the weight it will help but me feeling down makes me want to eat all day and do nothing.

 

 I kind of want him to miss me but i just dont know if thats even possible. What can i do??? How can i get him to look for me and not the other way around??? How do girls get the guy to be all over the them?

by on May. 17, 2012 at 12:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Momof2almost
by on May. 17, 2012 at 12:19 PM

 I am always myself.  It doesn't bother me if I don't attract guys attention.  Some days I feel like fixing myself up and other days I don't.  As long as i'm comfortable with me I don't care what anyone else thinks.  The only man I want to impress is DH and he loves me for me not how I look and he doesn't care if I don't fix my hair or wear makeup everyday.  Its hard to keep your self confidence after you have children because it does take a toll on your body but you have to love yourself.  Hope you feel better hun! 

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lil_mama8865
by on May. 17, 2012 at 12:29 PM

I know it's hard but you have to make him think you are absolutely confident in yourself! Confidence is sexy!! Do what you have to to make yourself feel confident!! Throw on some makeup, put on some sexy clothes, wear your hair down!!! Girl strut your sexy ass around in front of him, bend over in front of him, show some cleavage!!! haha Thats what I do to get my mans attention and trust me he will be all over it!!! =-) Good luck!!!

MissTuree
by Bronze Member on May. 18, 2012 at 11:25 AM

Don't worry about him and focus on you. When you are confiident you will exude sex appeal, and when you show you no longer need his approval he will be all over you.

aidenmomplus4
by on May. 18, 2012 at 11:50 AM
1 mom liked this

It's hard to feel sexy when you don't have the same body your husband "fell" for when he meet you. I was so in shape, when I meet my husband I weighted 119 after having my son and quads , I am no where near that weight and I'm pregnant again, so I'm feeling HUGE but I have finally become comfortable with my mommy body, and I can tell that my husband is more attractived to me now that I feel good about myself. My husband is the same weight he was when we married, workouts out everyday but he has no problem loving me and being attractive to me even though I look much different. I say work on your confidence.


Also he may just be a actual guy, that is looking forward to some time with his guys and not having to do the daily routine of having to help take care of the kids, do this do that. In my experience man just lay around doing nothing when we go away. They just like the peace and quiet.

jnm11108
by on May. 20, 2012 at 1:10 AM

I want to thank you all for your amazing suggestions and opinions! They mean a lot to me!!! Thank you!

jshalas89
by on May. 20, 2012 at 1:14 AM

That's called conditional love and it's not the kind of love you want in a partner. If that's the real him than he's the one that needs to change not you.

LilTymomma
by Bronze Member on May. 20, 2012 at 2:18 AM

First of all i would say BE YOURSELF. Also something that got stuck in me " if you don't love yourself then why should others do so?" (or something along those lines). How you feel is usually what people see if u feel fat people see fat,... but if you see all the qualities that you have then ppl will see them too. And loosing weight needs to be a constant workout and you need a lot of motivation theres no slacking off and if u really want it then u should def achieve it and theres no stoping you. 

Now, LISTEN to what u are saying. You have been married for 4 YEARS, You are still intimate with each other, and have 3 KIDS together. HE LOVES YOU and wans to be with you. If he didn't he wouldn't b there or he would've cheated by now. He's def gonna make plans theres nothing wrong with that whats a house without your significant other and your babies, just emptiness. He doesn't want to miss you, or think about u not being there. Also, for a guy insecurity is a bi turn off.  Good luck!!

CopperGirl
by on May. 20, 2012 at 2:25 AM

I kind of want him to miss me but i just dont know if thats even possible. What can i do??? How can i get him to look for me and not the other way around??? How do girls get the guy to be all over the them?


Play hard to get. :)

mandymariedward
by on May. 20, 2012 at 2:40 AM

i constantly get looked at and get attention but to be honest its not easy i hardly eat and am totally obsessed with my apperance i feel these day if u dont look good people tend to walk all over u.. im really insecure right now  as to im going threw a misscarage and gaineed like 15 pounds im normally 95-100 and right now im 115 my cureent pic is from yesterday so i no i look little but dont feel it.. but ur man making plans when u leave is a big no no mine dont even like me going to the gas station without him.. id talk to him and tell him to be honest

Rach0307
by on May. 20, 2012 at 2:57 AM
One word... Confidence!!! While he loves you, no man finds insecurity sexy. I've seen it a thousand times; a woman gains a little weight, and the husband doesn't mind one bit until she becomes insecure and depressed over the way she views herself. Love yourself, hun, you are beautiful! If you don't believe that you are gorgeous and wonderful, how can you expect anyone else to? I'm no beauty queen (some may say I'm somewhat plain, esp since I never wear makeup, lol), but I gets looks and comments constantly because I hold my head high.
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