Kyle and Ian are playing a round of golf on a fine sunny day. When they reach the ninth hole, it's Kyle's shot and Ian warns him,"watch out for the wind or you'll end up in the woods" Kyle sets his tee and swings and sure enough his ball sails through the air right into the thicket. He tells his buddy to go on and take his shot while he locates his lost ball. He steps into the wooded area and scans for any signs of it and finally sees it in a bed of buttercups. He decides to play it as it lies and takes a swing but misses. He takes off a few heads of the flowers but doesn't care. He swings and swings until he finally connects with his ball and by that time all the buttercups are gone.
He starts toward the green when an old lady appears and she's pissed.
"I am Mother Nature. Do you have any idea how long it took me to creat those buttercups you just destroyed?!?!"
He stammers an apology but she carries on,"Well, since you killed my buttercups you'll have no butter either! No butter on your toast! No butter on your popcorn! NO BUTTER ON ANTHING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!" And then *poof she's gone.
He shakes his head trying to figure out if that happend or not and calls out to his friend,"Ian? You close?"
"Yeah", he calls back,"I just hit my ball into a bed of pussywillows. Gonna be tricky to get it out"
Kyle screams,"DON'T SWING, DUDE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!!!"
One Sunday morning a preacher looks out his window and the weather is so beautiful that he decides to play hookey from giving his sermon at church and go golf instead. He calls his assistant pastor and fakes ill and asks him to take over service for the day. Then he drives to the next town over and sets off for a day of golf.
God and Saint Peter are watching the preacher. Peter shakes his head and asks God,"what are you going to do? Make rain?"
God shakes his head and smiles,"Just watch".
The preacher steps up to the first tee of a par 4 hole and swings. Amazingly, his ball sails right over the fairway, the sandtraps, then bounces once on the green and lands right in the hole. He got a hole in one!
Saint Peter gapes and exclaims,"Why did you do that?! You gave him a hole in one!"
"Yes", God replied, still smiling,"but who's he going to tell?"
Hope you laughed!
on May. 22, 2012 at 10:40 PM