I am a terrible mother. I did the dumbest thing I could have ever doneā¦.
I decided to get breakfast for my SO at Burger King this morning before I took DD to school and went to work and when I stopped at home to drop it off to him, I figured my 5 year old DD would be fine sitting in her seat for the 2 minutes it took me to run inside. I was totally wrong. I walked back outside to see my minivan IN the hedge it was parked in front of and the light pole behind it lying on the ground.
My DD was sitting in the driverās seat with this āoh crapā look on her face but she wasnāt scared or crying or anything. I asked her what happened and she actually tried to say she didnāt do anything. I was too freaked out to be mad at her in the moment so I just hugged her, put her back in her seat, pulled the van out of the hedge and parked it in our parking spot to survey the damage. We live in a small apartment complex so the pole she knocked over is small but if it canāt be fixed, Iāll most likely have to pay for a new one.
Thatās not where the mess ends though. I proceeded to be even more of a moron by calling the leasing office and in a panic reporting the incident like I just noticed the downed light pole but that it wasnāt me that did it. Huge mistake #2. I was so scared of having to tell anyone what happened including my SO that I just automatically let panic mode take over and tried to hide it.
I just got a call from my SO a few minutes ago. Someone saw what happened, got my vehicle information and reported it to the leasing office. I had no choice but to come clean about the accident and it was horrible having to do that not only with the leasing office but with my SO. He is furious and I don't blame him. I should have just done the right thing and come clean but I was just so terrified. Now I'm even more scared of having the police or social services called on me for leaving my DD in the van alone. I have no idea what exactly that person saw but at least when I called the leasing office the girl was really understanding and accepted my apology and told me she would contact me if I needed to pay for anything.
I can only hope it doesn't go any farther than that. I feel like such a failure as a parent. What in the flying FUCK was I thinking???!!! I am so thankful it was only a minor incident but it could have been so much worse and believe me I've been thinking about that all day.
All I want to do is cry. I hate myself for being so utterly stupid :*(
I know I'm gonna get bashed to high hell probably but I don't care. I deserve it.