See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
So.. I have two boys.. ages 3 and 4. We basically didn't work.. I won't blame it totally on him because it was both of us.. We just were not meant to be together. One of the MAIN reasons why I stopped dealing with him was because he did not treat the kids like I thought he should.. Didn't really buy things for them, pay daycare, no clothes; just watched them when I needed him to while I worked nights. (I should also mention he has 2 OTHER children besides mine that are the SAME ages that he cares for wholeheartedly.. He gets them faithfully every weekend, buys them things, and even pays the mom child support) After we split, he stopped being there for the kids, financially and seeing them. I didn't push him because I did not feel like it was my place to "make" someone see their children. I started dating someone else soon after and we got married last month. My husband is in the army. He started after we started dating and I told the boys' father EVERYTHING up front. He CHOOSE not to get the children and/or give me money unless I went on a rant about it. THIS YEAR, he gave me $250. He has been with the kids for about 5 TOTAL days.
Skip to today, I'm pregnant by my husband. I told my boys' father about this all. He was jealous and basically just told me that he would contact me when he wanted his children. Of course that never happened. As I mentioned before, my husband is in the army and has been doing training all year, except when we got married and the weeks after. He's currently at his duty station and told me on Tuesday that we got approved for housing and we would be moving soon. Yesterday, I told my boys' father that I had to talk to him and would rather do it in person so that he could spend time with the boys too. He said he had better things to do. I didn't push. Today, his mother sent me a text today, informing me she wanted the kids to take pictures. I told her we were leaving the weekend that she was wanting to do these pictures. She apparently told him because he texted me and asked when I was leaving. I told him that was what I wanted to talk to him about and he got angry saying he needed more time with his kids.
The reason I am asking am I wrong is because my husband has been training and such since JANUARY. It is now the end of JUNE and he is saying HE needs more time with his children. I gave him every opportunity to see them, never denying a chance to talk to them or for him to see them. He got mad at me because I told him that I gave him ample chances and HE chose not to take them.
So I need opinions.. Am I wrong for not really caring about how he feels?
Also, if you need clarification about WHY I stayed so long, it's mainly because I was young and dumb and thought I could change him.. I realized I couldn't and let him treat me or the kids wrong and left.