Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

Overreacting?

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 6:43 AM
  • 23 Replies

I feel like I get too bent out of shape over these things, but, I just can't tell anymore...


You see, my DF and I haven't been together long, and, we were only dating for a few months before i got pregnant with Jelly Bean (Or Oops). We both decided that it would be for the best for us to stay together, and make it work for the baby.


DF (Zack) and I get along speldndidly, and we rarely have any major spats (Other than I don't talk about my emotions and problems) aside from "Ouh, you didn't do the laundry today...Well..Damn." But that's about it. And even though we've only been together a very short time, [5 months] I know that Iove him dearly, and am glad to have him in my life.

However, as much as I love him, his family is putting so much strain on our relationship, that I just can't handle it. Shortly into my pregnancy, I became anemic, and already suffering from hypoglycemia,(glucose deficency in the blood stream) I was basically told I have to take it easy.


Having to give up a high stress job as an EMT, I was asked to come and stay with Zack, and let him basically do all the bacon bringing, I resigned to just staying home, and doing chores around the house, while I studied for school (moving from EMT to EMS or, Paramedic)


That being said, FIL is just a bag of dicks to me. I don't follow your typical christian religion, which in these parts, (I'm in the bible belt) is a big deal, and as a practitioner of Wicca. He insults me by calling me a witch, and refuses to even hear what I have to say about the matter. IT is typical to deal with, when living in this area, to find biggoted people such as this, but for him to call me a "Witch" Outloud like that is not only insulting, but just wrong.  And I mean wrong in the sense that, I'm not a witch, thats LeVayan Satanists. 

I am, by no stretch of the mind, a satanist. Nor am I a witch, I do not dance naked in the moon light around a bondfire, and sacrifce chickens to some 8 legged god. No, I worship the moon, and during the proper phases, I go, and pray to her, and hope for her blessings, and offer her breads, and wine. I pray like a Christian, just to a different Goddess.


More over than that, his dad is just intolerable, calling me names when he thinks I can't hear, and blaming me for "Ruining his baby boys life." He refuses to accept that I was on birthcontroll when this pregnancy happened, and now, he treats me like I'm a demon. I get whined at that he never sees me out of my room, and that I never come talk to him, but, what will we talk about? We've run into this problem before. Mr.Evans (FIL) Zack (DF) and Noah(BIL) all have the uncanny urge to talk about nothing but pussy pussy pussy sex vagina guns grilling pussy, this one time I did /this/ to a girl. I'm sorry, but as a woman, I just don't care to hear about thier tales of chasing a woman, and what they do to her in the bedroom. Why would I go out of my way to listen to something I don't care in the least about, when he can't take the time to listen to me about something that's important?


And then, Noah (BIL) Is such a dick to me, it's laughable. When I was setting up the plans for my Reveal party, Noah got up in arms because I was inviting people he didn't like to the party. He even said "You can't invite these people to the party, these are people I don't like." I looked at him and I said "I don't give a damn if you like them or not, this isn't about you, this is about me and Zack, telling the people we care about what gender baby we are having. If you don't like the people there, you can either tolerate it, and realize this isn't about you, or you can stay home."


His entire family rides my ass about it, and Doris (MIL) is just as bad. She will nag me about everything I eat...I mean EVERYTHING. I know, drinking Soda isn't the best thing for me, but, I want to drink Soda, and 1 can a day won't hurt the baby. Most of my fluid intake is water, or Kool-aide, or juice, but the one can of soda, and she's on my ass. One hot dog, and I'm poisoning my baby. I get that she just wants to be helpful, but unless she sees me eat everymeal everyday, she just needs to stfu. I appriciate that she is concerned, (and I have told her such) but she doesn't get that I am taking care of my baby, and if I wanted her advice I would ask for it.


The only person in the family I get along with, is Granny, and that's because she's just old and sweet, and happy to have a grand=baby.


Am I over reacting to how this family treats me, by having my feelings hurt so often? I feel like because of who I am, they will treat my baby poorly, or love it less. I can't stand the thought of making my baby lose out on love because I'm its mother. But I can't change who I am just to please them...I just feel like they hate me...

by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 6:43 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
xomrs.chase
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 6:47 AM
It sounds like you two need your own place. I don't get along with my mil... I could never imagine living with her.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jsr87
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 6:56 AM

Is it at all possible for you to move out? His family sounds like a bunch of assholes with no boundaries or decency. It's not as if you aren't already stressed out enough already. You had to quit your previous way of life, too, so it's not as if he has a monopoly on lifestyle changes due to the baby.

.Pagan.
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 11:22 AM

 And I mean wrong in the sense that, I'm not a witch, thats LeVayan Satanists. . i disagree with that. many pagans do call themselves a witch and while Anton LeVay did cover a part abt 'magic' many LeVay satanists don'tactually practice that. i haven't met one that does actually...not saying there aren't any of course but every adult i know that claims to follow that philosophydoes not and it doesn't say its necessary in the Satanic Bible either.

as for the rest i totally understand how you feel. i am Pagan and i am from the deep south. i have butted heads on things more than once but luckily my family just trise to be civil abt things and this only happens once in a great while. i think the worst time was when i JUST had my child and they were all pushing me to have him baptised. i got things like my MIL (a devout catholic) telling me that i cant blame her if my son acts out when he is older because she tried to have him baptised. i told her that she had her son baptised and that didn't do a lot of good. she of course bowed out of that one and besides that we get along well. my grandmother ( a southern baptist who has two brothers that are also baptist preachers)  told me that i need to be in church or my family will fall apart. i told her that that will not help a dang thing and im not going to pretend to believe in something i simply don't. i know she does it because she loves me but it can get irritating.

it sounds to me like you are just ready for your own space and are tired of having people all up in your grill telling you how you need to do everything when you aren't a child anymore. i get that too. just grit your teeth and take it a bit longer...in the end you will be out of there and things will be better but for now if this is how your daughter's father has to take care of yall then it is what it is. just go sit in your mediation area when you feel stressed abt things and reflect a bit to calm down...you may be there a lot of course so id get a comfy floor pillow lol.

daulton_dustin
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 11:24 AM
Wow wow wow. That's some crazy stuff right there! I'm sorry hun but u two need to get ur own place as soon as u can. That's not healthy for the baby or u! N don't u dare change for them. My in laws got a problem that I speak my mind when they start their crap, they want me to go back to the girl that stays quite n takes what comes my way but ummm no thanks ill stay his way. N hehe they hate it lol!!! Good luck hun n congrats on the soon to be baby!!
sweettigeress
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 11:25 AM


Quoting xomrs.chase:

It sounds like you two need your own place. I don't get along with my mil... I could never imagine living with her.


in love       girl on a swing            toddler girl

  Wife to Josh  Mother to Saria        Mother to Kairi

aidenmomplus4
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 11:33 AM

Yup it sounds like the only way to solve your problems is to get out of that house. 

la_bella_vita
by Gold Member on Jun. 29, 2012 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting sweettigeress:


Quoting xomrs.chase:

It sounds like you two need your own place. I don't get along with my mil... I could never imagine living with her.


 

mama_girl07
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 12:47 PM
2 moms liked this

Sounds like Zack needs to stand up for you. I mean they are belittleing his child's mom and his fiance. i would be royally pissed if he sat around and did nothing while they talked to you like that. even if he isnt around he needs to sit down and have a serious conversation with his mom, dad and borther about the way they treat you.

Fellie
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Move out. It'll only get worse when baby is born.

19andmomtobe
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 1:04 PM
1 mom liked this
Well idk about the whole pray to the moon thing but my in laws suck too. Me and my hubs were together shortly before we got pregnant and married and although my family adjusted his didn't. My mil is the spawn of the devil lol. She is so mean to me and turned my sil against me too. My hubs wonders why it upsets me but I wanted so badly to be accepted by them. It just never happened. They don't even see my son or ask to. So just know your not alone.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)