My Mom Died & NOW I'm Cutting Off ALL Contact With My Sister!!!
Desperately grasping for ANY amount of comfort & peace we could find, we ALL agreed that we would do everything within our means to carry out her wishes.
Initially she had hoped to be burried & have an open casket funeral. Flowers, herse, & all. Unfortunately, after mom's thousand's of dollars worth of medications during her 4 month fight with cancer, our family was left with mere PENNIES in comparison to the cost of an open casket/burial.
We collectively chose to creamate her the day we met with the staff of the funeral home. :*-(
Knowing that her wish for a burial might not be within our budget, mom specifically asked to never be "In an urn on someone's mantle".....
Again, AS A FAMILY, we all agreed that we would (by all means necessary) find a final resting place for her ashes BEFORE her 50th birthday (August 16th of this year).
TOGETHER, we ALL agreed that the lake we spent many years living on would be the very best place to leave her ashes.
We knew back in MARCH that this "ceremony" & memoriable celebration of her B-day would take place in August.
Fast forward to last month: MY DAD calls & lovingly invites DH & I to have a weekend at the Dells (giant city of waterpark awesomeness) with him. He decided that he was going to start a tradition of taking all 3 of his kids & their spouses (S/O's) on a yearly vacation! FUN, right?
Now, mind you.... My mom & dad divorced 15 years ago. The divorce was NASTY (to put it nicely). YET, for the love of his 3 children, he was able to put all differences aside & even showed up at the Hospice Center during my mom's last hours of life!
Anyways, dad extends his invite to me & my siblings & asks that I keep him informed of which weekend we chose for mom's ceremony/party, so that his weekend with us wouldn't conflict. HE plans to go to this thing for me mom also!
Sooo.... Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. My brother shows up at my house unannounced (no biggie) but is clearly upset! He tells me that he just spoke to my sister who dropped the bomb that she "couldn't" go to mom's thing. -_-
Her explanation: "DH is a pastor, he can only have 2 weekends/month off of work. We already requested the 1st weekend for a get-together w/ the inlaws & the LAST weekend for dad's vacay in the Dells, so we cant make it to mom's ceremony."
^^ fuckin REALLY!!??? Since WHEN THE FUCK does a small family cook-out & a VACATION take precidence over carrying out your mother's dying wishes?!?
Sooo.... My brother asks me not to tell my sis that I know this information... "Let her tell you herself!"
I've spoken to my sister AT LEAST 5 times regarding my mom's ceremony & all the planning behind it.... NEVER ONCE did she mention to me that she didn't plan on going!
So, yesterday my brother & I talk about it. We (stupidly) begin to believe that MAYBE my cold-hearted sister had a change of heart & decided she would come to mom's thing.
For a number of reasons:
1. Her excuse was BUOGUS! We had mom's thing planned LONG before her other obligations.
2. Her DH DOES NOT have to be there! Who gives a monkey's-ass if he has to work! COME ALONE!
3. My DAD told us (when I tattled to him) that he would UNINVITE my sister from the Dell's trip, if she even TRIED to skip mom's thing!
4. Let's face it: I'm a few fries short of a happy meal lately & she is TERRIFIED to approach me & tell me she aint coming! (Smart girl) O_o
TODAY I reactivated my old FB account to access my mom's friend list, in hopes of finding friends of hers to invite.... As i'm browsing, I come across a message she JUST posted on my bro's G/F's page that says: "Hey! I'm finally gonna get to hang out w/ you & my brother soon!".
Brother's G/F replies: "Oh! When's that?"
Sis says: "At the vacay in the Dells w/ my dad!"
Sooo... Being the smartass that I am, I reply: "Oh, AND for mom's ceremony/party too, RIGHT?"
^^ PERFECT chance for her to tell me that her heartless-ass aint coming!!!
What does she do? LOGS-THE-FUCK-OFF! O_o
Seriously... I KNOW I am not just being extra-sensitive here!!!
WTF kinda human-ass-being with ANY heart what-so-ever could possibly justify missing something as important as THIS???
THIS from the "Devout Christian" in the group, whom CLAIMS to already have "peace" regarding mom's passing. MUST BE NICE to be so cold-hearted that you don't feel the body-aches of grief that *I* have had to bare for the past 4 months! HOW NICE it must be to be so vain & selfish that you can't even look past YOURSELF enough to see that this "simple" ceremony is something you PROMISED your family you would attend! How peaceful & harminized your fucking days must be, since you've CLEARLY & COMPLETELY disregarded the pain & grief of the family around you!
You know what, Sis..... FUCK OFF!
Keep your high-nosed, better than, to good-for her own family, selfish-ass the fuck AWAY from MY MOM'S ceremony! I don't want you there, if I have to FORCE you to go anyways! It will be a beautiful & healing day whether you are there or not!!!
PS. Have fun at the Dells WITHOUT me! I won't have the strength to put on my fake-happy face for dad & I don't want to ruin his trip.