Ok so I just need to vent . I guess this is my thinking before acting post. My boyfriend and I have been having soo many problems this summer. We were living together but I made the decision to move out in June and I have been currently living with my grandparents (hell). I believe I have turned into one of those girlfriends I have never wanted to be. The one who sits by the phone waiting for her boyfriend to call, counting down until I can see him, and basically making myself sick and paranoid about everything he is doing and I know I am driving him crazy too. I know this sounds stupid and selfish but I am also so jealous that he is not pregnant. He doesnt have to gain weight, he doesnt have to give birth, he doesnt have to go into labor, and he doesnt have to deal with the recovery from labor. I guess this is a pity party for myself but really I resent him so much for really not having to go through anything and I am so mad at him for that. I know that is really unfair of me to say. I dont know what to do. I am so mad at him all the time. I have been able to ignor it but it kills me. I make up these things in my head that he is out cheating on me and if he ever did do that I think I would completely loose faith in humnaity. Why does this have to be so difficult. I know I seem nuts and when I tell him this all he saus is "If you feel nuts just stop being nuts" (easier said than done). I dont want to loose him and I feel like that is the path that I am going down. This is honestly the loniest I have ever felt.