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Does your husband drink? (long sorry)

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If so, how often?  Does he know his limit?

If he has one too many does he get out of control? Does he get angry? Feelings easily hurt? 

My husband drinks, not every day. A few times a week, and if he has the entire weekend off he drinks almost all weekend. He doesn't know his limit. He tends to get loud, a little more hyper than usual. Which I know is normal. But he also from time to time gets aggravated easily, his feelings are hurt easily. Mainly when he wants to get 'friendly' (and he's drunk) and I don't want to do anything. He becomes pushy and all over me when he gets that way. I don't like that one bit. Then he gets mad and says that I don't love him etc. Every time he gets drunk he asks me if I love him, when I say I do, he says 'no you don't' sarcastically. I say it again and he's always like 'you better'. 

I've seen him get really angry 4 times since we've been married. 3 out of 4 of them he was in a fight, with either family or friend.  Then when I don't take his side (I dont condone fighting especially if he gets cocky and starts running his mouth), He gets pissed at me and starts on me. Trying to tear me down for everything that he can. Now, mind you I don't sit and tell him that he's wrong or try to make a fool of him, he's already doing that himself. But I dont talk to him like he's a child, and that's what he expects me to do. 

We always butt heads because I dont put up with the shit he's saying. He is a re presser. Alcohol is his courage, literally. So anything he's been thinking and not talking to me about, he lets it out. It usually turns into that. Putting me down, threatening to take the kids, accusing me of sitting on my ass all day while he's at work (i'm a sahm), that I dont love him, that he thinks i'm probably already looking for someone (which I am not) and that he will take everything from me.

When he's sober I talk to him about it a few days afterwards. It's the same story. He feels underappreciated (as do I), and that he's sorry, he will never do it again. Things wont get that way again.  I've heard that since the 1st day that we were married. First time I ever seen it was on our honeymoon. Go figure. 

I don't give up that easily. Nor do I plan on. I love my husband very much. But his father in his younger days was an alcoholic, very tempramental, short fuse, abusive to my husbands mother, a cheater, liar, and a dangerous man. He always had a gun or a weapon of some sort with him. And when my husband gets aggravated while drunk that is the first thing he asks 'where's my gun, i need my gun' ( i wont let him carry it for that reason). I am just afraid that since alcoholism is usually a trait that is passed down through generations, that my husband will turn out like his father. His dad isnt like that now, far from it. But he used to be. 

I'm just not sure how to handle it sometimes. Any suggestions or similar stories?

by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 1:05 AM
Replies (21-30):
barefootmommi
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 2:47 PM
Maybe he should just cut out drinking all together I have idea what my husbands like drunk iv never seen him drunk because his dad mom n three out of four brothers are alcoholics all of which act totally outrageous when they start drinking so he just avoids it all together he drinks like maybe once a year n he drinks lemonades. I'm the drinker I don't get drunk often n am not rowdy I try to watch myself because I also had alcoholic parents
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tifbrown
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 2:50 PM
My hubby is an occasional drinker. For the most part he knows his limit. When he steps outside of it my biggest concern is him pissing himself and falling asleep before I can get some. His mood depends on circumstances. Socially he is great, talkative, funny, although slightly annoying. Drinking while watching hockey leads to yelling at the players like they can actually hear him. Out in a bar can go either way. He is all good until I get bumped or knocked into. He goes into protective mode and it's time to go home. Regardless of his mood, I can read it and handle him depending on the situation.
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smem24
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 2:53 PM

He does not touch it, he has just never really liked the stuff


NatessaCallahan
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 3:00 PM

I'm very picky with my alcohol.  I only like Mike's Hard Lemonades and really sweet mixed drinks like margaritas and mahi thais.  My husband will usually have a weak one with me but nothing really more than that, although he can drink a lot (he's Irish) and he knows his limit.  Out of the times when he has gone over his limit, which is very rarely (last time was his 21st and he's 24 now), he does not get angry, he actually gets happy and giddy.  A little more liquor and he gets kind of lethargic.  Some more and he is pretty much dead to the world and ends up puking.  

freenuts
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 4:35 PM
Answering your question, yes he does, on weekends mostly, he drinks red wine from after midday to last man standing, but he holds his drink, meaning he doesnt get shitfaced. He just gets relaxed. I think your hubby has a deeper problem than alcohol. He is showing his insecurities thru alcohol. That is toxic behaviour, you have to get him to therapy. Good luck :)
liz1105
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:38 PM

DH and I both drink on occasion. before we had DD we used to both party alot but now that's just not a priority. on wednesday nites his buddy bartends at a local bar and he sometimes goes there for a beer or two, he sometimes likes a couple drinks when we're at home watching the game or with dinner and if we get a "mommy and daddy nite out" we like to go drink and take a cab home. never would he drink excessively with our child at home and he def doesnt sit and drink the whole weekend. it sounds like your husband has a problem and you dont deserve being treated that way. and you dont want him to start being that way toward your kids eventually. i think you need to suggest he gets help....

Ruthzaad
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:42 PM
I hope things get better for you. We don't drink at all. My mother is a severe alcoholic and I can't deal with drunks. I don't drink because I just don't see the point and I have a fear of turning out like my mom. I think the memories alone steers me away from it all. ((HUGS))
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mcr17
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 6:25 PM

mine never drinks to get drunk. he will have a beer with dinner or something like that.

nikki32230
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 6:32 PM
We love alcahol, unfortunately dh does not in fact know his limit. He gets obnoxious... Never mean, or Whitney, just loud and obnoxious and he will repeat things a hundred times lol silly man
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Mz.perales
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 6:34 PM
No my husband know his limit only if we have a party and after his beers he drink he sleeps .. nothing like you describe .. but if he like to drink on his day off he can cuz he deserve it . But he really dont so im glad i have a wonderful and understandin husband ;) ... and he super friendly when he drunk and i love it !
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