Just found out EVERYTHING **WARNING explicit behavior**

[Lifeofpaine]

hey guys, this morning i was laying in bed with my husband and son and i wanted to see if my husbands ex had written anything to him yesterday (we have an open book policy) and i found a txt in his inbox from girl that he works with (i used to work there too, we were friends) and it said "I want to tilt you back in your chair, kiss your neck, then work my way down to your **** and suck you dry" so i read ANY other txts that were hers. there were about 5 of them just from yesterday alone, so i put the phone back and got out of bed saying "F*** YOU!" HE PLAYED DUMB! i went for a walk to gather myself, and came home to my husband saying "Hunny whats wrong?!" i went into more detail and said that i read the txts from her and im pissed, i went to my phone and called her a home wrecking B**** because from what i knew, SHE was the one writing my husband and my husband was jsut saying stuff like "That would be nice" lol TURNS OUT! after talking with her through txt a little, they have been having sex for 1.5 months now, at least once a week. sex 4 times and head 6 times.... i asked my husband if they had sex, and SWORE they werent,... well he denied it and was saying things like "Hunny i dont know why she is saying this stuff!!" he REALLY had me thinking she was just trying to get him in more trouble... because i trust him SO much. well then she said "Chelsea im NOT lying he is peirced down there and i can tell you about every tattoo he has.. at that point i started bawling. it hurt SO much that my own husband was lying and some woman(pregnant i might add, and no not my husbands baby, we know the father of that baby) i have only known for 6 months is telling me EVERYTHING, they never used protection and he ALWAYS finished in her. in fact, last night he was "gettig a ride from a friend(whom he said was male)" and was 1.5 hours late home... she told me that they were having sex in her bed last night and thats why he was so late.usually they always had it in her car,... but last night was different i guess. she said he always felt remorseful and even cried last night on the way home, but that she is very sorry she didnt come to me when he started it all in the beginning.

Im not as mad at her as i am at my husband because,... well, she was honest, he denied the whole thing....  but i can barely look at him. im so disgusted... my husband KNOWS that cheating on me is the ONE thing that i would file divorce for... we have a 17 month old together and were trying to get pregnant currently. needless to say that is DONE. but how can we get over this. he wants to work it out and admits that this HAS to be the worst thing he has done in his life.

Opinions on HOW to work this out

[LucyMom08]

I don't know if I could get over that...the cheating is horrible enough, but the blatant lying on top of it? Nope...

[ambermarie2006]

There's no way I would get over that. My ex husband cheated and lied with a girl he worked with, we split as soon as I found out.

[trinsmommy]

Yea me personnaly, I wouldnt try to work things out. Thats the biggest no no in my book. Im sorry he has done this to you

[mommyjenn84]

If you want it to work, counseling, honestly work on forgiving him (itll take a lot of time) and once you do, dont throw it in his face ever again.

No one can tell you ti stay or go, its such a personal issue and betrayal. Im so sorry it happened to you.

[MandaMom23]

 I don't think I could ever trust him after that.  That is like the ultimate wrong when it comes to being a spouse.

[Kaybean]

I couldn't get over that. If he had come to me saying it happened once and came clean on his own, then MAYBE, but this? I couldn't. It would be over. I'm sorry.

[joyfullem]

I unfortunately agree with PP I could get over the cheating but not the lying... That's the thing I can't stand but that's me. However I believe anything can ne worked out I'd you want it to enough. Do yall go to church? If you do pastors ( or whatever the pastor maybe called in your religion) usually will do counseling. I would also put down some ground rules 1st one being he start looking for a new job, if you have to see her it will be painful... I wish you the best

[mommyjenn84]

Yup, the lying is what would really get me. I doubt he felt SO guilty about what he was doing but more fearful of being caught. If he felt that bad, hed have come clean after the first time.

Quoting LucyMom08:

I don't know if I could get over that...the cheating is horrible enough, but the blatant lying on top of it? Nope...

[iceyrain01]

If you are a spiritual person pray about it. If not take some time to cool off and think about what you really want in this situation. If you can't get past the cheating it is best to leave. But if you feel that you can forgive him and work it out do that. I left my ex because I couldn't forgive it hurt me too much to know he disrespected me that much and lied about it to my face. It took a dark path and I wondered what else he had lied about. But that was me only you know in your heart what is best for you to cope with this (((hugs)))

[prinzesa_edith]

He lied straight to your face.