im in the process of planning our wedding thats 4 weeks away and i feel as tho i get nothing accomplished! his days and nights are still mixed up even at 5 weeks old, my 4 yr old has now gotten onto that schedule too!
im 4 months into our first home..that we own...and i still have boxes here and there to unpack.
i became a sahm 6 weeks ago and im already realllly restless! looking for avenues of income that dont require much if any daycare.
im trying to prep my 4 y old for prek for next yr because he knows all the things a 4 hyr old shouldnt but none of the things he should!
plus trying to balance the checkbook when you only have ncome every other month and stretching that income out over 2 months without cutting yourself short!
im trying to find who i am in all this ecause ive always worked at least a job, most the time two jobs plus being a parent!
my fiance is off shore working andso it feels as tho im still a single parent 75% of the time ad even when hes home its just easierto do everything myselfsince hell be leaving again soon! but he left only 2 weeks after owen was born and wont be back for 2 and a half weeks! the first 2 months of anewborn is the hardest imo, and im dong it alone on top of everything else and im just exhausted! not sleepy exhausted....but all the other kinds!
i will be glad when he wedding is over! the house isunpacked fully! the baby gets on a normal schedule! and i dont have to worry about quiet as much all at one time!
sorry for my vent...
p.s. im NOT discrediting single moms! ive been one for 3 yrs, my fiance and i just moved in together and he isnt ds1's dad. his dad left us 3 yrs ago. i know single momsdont have anyone to fall back on like i do when Troy is home. its just that works so busy,its august and hes bee home 9 weeks this year! and in that time weve had a baby bought a house planned a wedding, and bought a car, reduced down toone income, and im just drained! and the closer we get to the wedding..the more i realize that its been a yr and half since my dadpassed away...and i have yet to deal with it, cry about it, or even allow myself to think about it...and its getting harder and harder to no alow myself to fall apart, but i cant cuz my siblings and mom still need supported and strength to get them thru it and im who theyturn too. but my weddingis making it sooo hard!
again sorry for my vent..kinda just needed to admit that im startin to get weak....it usually makes me stronger just admitting it..even if just on paper..r this case a computer.