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His Last Name Or Mine?

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 2:45 PM
  • 80 Replies

Me and my babies daddy are not married. We are engaged. But my mother keeps trying to urge me that I should give the baby my last name. My parents don't like my baby daddy and refer to him as sperm donor. But I don't know what I should do. I don't want my family upset if I give him (my baby, found out it was a boy yesterday) Brian's last name. But I don't want to upset Brian and his family if I give him my last name. I figured I would see how Brian and me got a long through my pregnancy and then decide. But my mother keeps telling me I need to decide now. Whats your opinions?

by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 2:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
alreadydidthis
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 2:47 PM
1 mom liked this
Your baby not your mothers. Your decision no on else. Maybe do both names
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happymommy1105
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 2:47 PM
5 moms liked this
You are engaged?

You dont sound like it. You dont sound committed to this relationship.
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ShireeCS
by Shiree on Sep. 14, 2012 at 2:49 PM
I gave dd my last name when I had her but we are adding her dads last name now and hyphenating them. She is 8
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xTattooedxMommy
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 2:50 PM
If your engaged then wont his name be your last name soon too.. with my first I wasn't married but I know I will marry him someday so I gave her his last name cause I know someday ill be taking it too. Ill also be giving my current baby im pregnant with his last name as well. If you don't think the relationship will last give baby your name or both then you can always drop his name if need be...
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bowribbonmama
by Member on Sep. 14, 2012 at 2:50 PM
My son has my maiden name because his father is a sick. My DDs have my married name, we weren't married when DD1 was born.
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starry_dreamer
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 2:53 PM
I was in a similar situation. We had been dating 4 1/2 years when son was born. Things had been rocky and my family told me the same thing. My son has his fathers last name. If your finance is going to be in this kids life then why shouldn't he have a say? If you aren't comfortable with it just say when you get married you'll change sons last name. I believe if Brian signs the birth certificate he has parental rights. So whether the baby gets his last name or not he still will have rights which to me sounds like your mother is trying to avoid.
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ariajsmommy
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm in a similar situation, my family doesn't dislike my fiancé but a few members and my best friend have suggested my little girl have my last name. My parents didn't work out but I still carried my daddy's last name my whole life and I love it. Let's say things work out, chances are you will take his last name when you marry and then have to change both you and your sons last names instead of just yours. No matter what Brian will always be your sons daddy. I personally am letting my baby take my fiances last name. Just follow your heart, and don't let your family ruin you and your new family! Best wishes!
ericaaf
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 2:55 PM

my mom gave me my biological father's last name.....still to this day i dont even know who he is....my grandma wanted me to have my mother's last name, but my mom said that we wernt sisters...so she gave me his.honestly if your engaged to be married to him or he's going to step up and be father to the baby then i wouldn't see why you wouldnt give the baby his last name. and this is your baby not your mothers. maybe have the baby's middle name be your last name.

Mommy4-27-08
by Silver Member on Sep. 14, 2012 at 2:57 PM
1 mom liked this
Both of my kids have their dads last name and them having a different last name than me isn't weird at all.

Think of it this way, let's day you and Brian don't work out and you end up marrying someone else. Will you take his last name? Because if so then you and your son still won't have the same last name. Make sense?
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Tnkmommy
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 2:59 PM
1 mom liked this
I would do what you feel is right.. Ultimately it's your decision. I was pressured into giving my oldest son his bio fathers last name.. We broke up and he had nothing to do with him after 7 months old. Now I am with his "real daddy" since he was a year and want to change his last name. It's much harder to do when it's his bios last name and not yours. If you think you will be getting married, go for it. If you think there is a possibility you might not be together forever, then tell daddy you will change the last name from yours to his when you get married..
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