This is my first time posting about my situation but here goes nothing! At this point I think its time for me to seek support and I look forward to reading about how other women cope with being a second wife and stepmom!
I am not a second wife yet but pretty much there as I have been a stepmom for the last 3 1/2 years and we live our lives as a married couple. I know I choose this life and I hate to compain but you can't really know what it will bring until you live it right!
My step children are about to be 6 years old, twin boys, who were only 2 1/2 when I came into their lives. I have grown to love them and they do not remember their lives to be any different from what it is now which makes things a bit easier. We are definitely happy most of the time but our biggest struggle is the dealing with his ex...... I mean you have to know something is wrong when everyone you meet that knows her has something horrible to say about her right, maybe I shouldnt have taken those warnings lightly....
This women is extremely bi polar, you never know when she is going to be kissing your a** to get a favor or freaking out on you bc she doesnt get her way. They were only married bc she got pregnant and it soon ended because she had an affair with a married man...who she is still with. They both act like they have presidence over our parenting choices and she never consults any major decisions with their father, my bf, about anything important like schooling. But she expects us to pay for private school and every million activity she signs them up for without asking us. If we try to fight her on anything she threatens to file contempt of court because she is a spoiled brat and her parents cover all of her court costs which has left us in major debt and unable to modifiy any court orders.
I feel like she finds anyway possible to stalk me out to see what we are doing in our lives. We bought our first home this year...under my name only of course so she cant take it away from us......this home greatly lowered our living costs but she didnt see it that way.....I posted a picture of our home, which I worked my a** off to get on facebook to my family and friends and somehow she hacked her way into seeing it....then the texts and phone calls came flipping out. I just bought a car for myself and I feel like I cant enjoy it bc I know as soon as she see what I have she will cause another fight with him. Over what ...who knows? Its our lives and our business and she gets her check every month so what her problem is ...who knows. She is definitely one of those people who cant stand to see anyone else happy and does everything she can to make lives around her miserable. I could be here for days telling you all the stupid sh*t she pulls to prevent us from moving forward in our lives.
I played ball in the begining, I was kind and respectful and have always treated her kids with love. I even entertained the requests and little digs she would throw at me. I cant do it anymore. She has the nerve to text me the other day after we havent spoken in about 7 months to give me a parenting request...... But not one word was sent to their father about it so I know it wasnt that important to her, she just wanted to find a reason to have power over me. Lately I have been getting anxiety over it all...Im worried what she will try to do next. I feel like I cant talk about it anymore with my bf bc he just brushes it off but he doesnt realize how hard this is for a women. I am good person and I will continue to be but where is my breaking point? How much sh*t do you take before you finally put your foot down or lose your mind. What really bothers me is that lately she has been texting my bf about stuff that has nothing to do with the kids, trying to be funny and he never entertains it but this women always has a reason for the things she does and i cant help but worry about what she is up to next.
The only way I have been able to cope with this the last few years is to try to not think about it ....but I cant live my life in denial. I need to find a way to feel better about my future, right now I'm so scared I'm choosing the hardest path. I cant spend the rest of my life in fear of what this women will do to ruin everything Ive worked so hard for. The only person who is going to put my needs first is me, if anyone has any advice please share!