Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

Together 5 years, Living together 3, and a baby.....yet no ring or anything, i mean, wtf right?

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:35 AM
  • 29 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Do you think he actually plans on marrying me? Or just blowing smoke up my ass? (reply with ur reason for your answer pretty please)

Options:

yes, he does plan on marrying me someday

no, sorry hun he is blowing smoke up your ass


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 31

View Results

So need so advice from you ladies. 

My bf and I have been together for 5 years in January. We have been living together with no breaks for just under 3 years and we have one daughter who is now 6 months old. I am 20 and he is 23 in Febuary. He still hasnt/wont propose to me. I know we aren't the most wealthy people in the world but it's not like I need the most expensive ring out there, hell, he could go get a nice $40 ring from walmart for all I care. We do everything a married couple does. I don't know why he wont propose though. Its a big deal to me b.c it signifies the fact that we are officially a family then, and I want to have the same last name as my daughter. I am tired of the looks I get when people see me with my daughter and look at me like I am just another whore that got knocked up and couldn't make it work with the dad. Lately, due to my not having health insurance and his company wont add "significant others" to the health insurance, my family has been pressuring the whole marrage deal. Because, although I am very healthy, anything could happen. I'm not so worried about getting married this very moment but I would like him to at least ask...that way I dont feel so easily replacable and stuff. Is that really so much to ask? When I ask him if he ever intends on it, he says he does. A family member of mine asked him if he thought we would get married he said, "when we are ready". Seriously, when is that?? Also, what does that even mean?? How much more "ready" could we possibly be???? His family raised him to get married and same with mine to me. We did the baby 1st so it was a bit backwards but o well.  What do you think is making him stall??? I know its a big commitment yada yada but come on, we already do it all anyways, why not make me your fiance who you intend on making your wife in the nearer future?????? let me know what you think, this is driving me nuts, im beginning to think he doesn't want to marry me ever.... :(

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:35 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
bluerose26
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:44 AM
I've been with my fiance for 7yrs. Living together 6 3/4 yrs. We have 2kids together. We've been engaged 6 1/2 yrs. We love each other. Money is tight but we Got engaged 2yrs before we had kids.
Have you told him you don't care if its a tiny $40 ring?
Every relationship is different, he loves you give him a lil bit more time.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sreichelt26
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:45 AM
The only way to solve any of this is to talk to him about it.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
bluerose26
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:46 AM
Oh and I'm 26 and he's 32


Quoting bluerose26:

I've been with my fiance for 7yrs. Living together 6 3/4 yrs. We have 2kids together. We've been engaged 6 1/2 yrs. We love each other. Money is tight but we Got engaged 2yrs before we had kids.
Have you told him you don't care if its a tiny $40 ring?
Every relationship is different, he loves you give him a lil bit more time.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
busymom64064
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:53 AM
With your post, sorry to say, seems to me as if you ARE worried about getting married.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jesuschild06
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 1:19 AM
need to seriously talk to him about how its making you feel. If you really arent worried about getting married immediately then tell him you just need a real reason to relax about the idea. Not saying that the same thing will happen for you but thats what i did. I told my so he had to give me a REAL reason and he realized he didnt have one so we got engaged. (i actually asked him but not until he realized he didnt have a reason besides being scared)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Chelsea_rh
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 2:34 AM
1 mom liked this
My brother and his wife were dating 10 years before her proposed....

If its that big of a deal why don't you propose to him?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
EslingerCrew11
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 2:47 AM
1 mom liked this
Talk to him, but honestly, why does he HAVE to get married, when you guys already act like yiu are? Kwim?? A lot of people think like that in these situations. He has no reason he HAS to get married when you already live together and already have a child.. Just like being married without legally being married. Gl
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
queen_k0302
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:10 AM
I was the one who waited to get married until we had a solid relationship for 10 yrs. Everything can be right but i didnt think i was ready until then. You two deff need to have a talk.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
JerseyAirGurl
by *Ada* on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:06 AM

I would discuss it... You two are still pretty young and maybe he doesn't feel the pressure since you live abd function as a married couple/family already. 

Kimsd
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:12 AM
This sounds almost exactly like my situation... except, we have 2.5 kids and are older. I am 27 and he's 31!!! We've been together 5 years, lived together almost the entire time we've been together and I still don't have a ring. I also want to have the same last name as my kids, and getting married is important to me. Im not willing to wait forever for him to want it, too.

Good luck, I would make it known how you feel without being too pushy. If it is very important to you, let him know. Good luck!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN