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Together 5 years, Living together 3, and a baby.....yet no ring or anything, i mean, wtf right?

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Poll

Question: Do you think he actually plans on marrying me? Or just blowing smoke up my ass? (reply with ur reason for your answer pretty please)

Options:

yes, he does plan on marrying me someday

no, sorry hun he is blowing smoke up your ass


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Total Votes: 31

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So need so advice from you ladies. 

My bf and I have been together for 5 years in January. We have been living together with no breaks for just under 3 years and we have one daughter who is now 6 months old. I am 20 and he is 23 in Febuary. He still hasnt/wont propose to me. I know we aren't the most wealthy people in the world but it's not like I need the most expensive ring out there, hell, he could go get a nice $40 ring from walmart for all I care. We do everything a married couple does. I don't know why he wont propose though. Its a big deal to me b.c it signifies the fact that we are officially a family then, and I want to have the same last name as my daughter. I am tired of the looks I get when people see me with my daughter and look at me like I am just another whore that got knocked up and couldn't make it work with the dad. Lately, due to my not having health insurance and his company wont add "significant others" to the health insurance, my family has been pressuring the whole marrage deal. Because, although I am very healthy, anything could happen. I'm not so worried about getting married this very moment but I would like him to at least ask...that way I dont feel so easily replacable and stuff. Is that really so much to ask? When I ask him if he ever intends on it, he says he does. A family member of mine asked him if he thought we would get married he said, "when we are ready". Seriously, when is that?? Also, what does that even mean?? How much more "ready" could we possibly be???? His family raised him to get married and same with mine to me. We did the baby 1st so it was a bit backwards but o well.  What do you think is making him stall??? I know its a big commitment yada yada but come on, we already do it all anyways, why not make me your fiance who you intend on making your wife in the nearer future?????? let me know what you think, this is driving me nuts, im beginning to think he doesn't want to marry me ever.... :(

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:35 AM
Replies (21-29):
MamaPeanut
by Kristy on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:38 AM
Men that dont have the dignity and ethics to marry the mother of their child are NOT worth keeping around, IMO.

It shows the man does not respect the woman or his family and is a terrible example to the children.
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mom2theA-team
by Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:45 AM

Maybe he is not happy in your relationship if he knows you want him to ask? Maybe he feels trapped? I'm not a huge advocate for marriages, licenses and the whole nine yards but if everyone wants it and he wont ask maybe you need to sit down and discuss why he isn't. 

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:22 PM

 I've never been in this situation but it's possible it could be either. Good luck, I would have a heart to heart with him

mommy1LA
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:28 PM
Wow, your post describes my life! Lol. Been with my boyfriend 5 years and living together 5 years and have a 3 year old son. But yet no ring or marriage. He knows I want to get married and that I don't need and expensive ring and that I can go to court to get married but still nothing. It's so frustrating!
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rawrmommysaurus
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 4:13 PM

has there been a converstation about marriage, life goals and time lines?

Dominosmommy
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:15 PM

Lol. I have been with my BF for 10 years. We broke up once but that was more than a year ago now. You are the exact opposite of me. I don't want to get married yet. I am not sure I ever want to get married.  He is the only man I have ever been with. We were together through Jr High, High School and college. I think if he was going anywhere he would and if I was going anywhere I would. You don't need a title and half each other's stuff to prove you love someone and want to be with someone.

sucker4myloves
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:54 PM

I didn't vote, because nobody, including myself, can tell you that answer except for him. You need to sit him down, and calmly explain to him that you want to get married. That it doesn't have to be now, but you need to know if he's ever going to marry you, and why or why not he thinks you guys are ready. Tell him you don't need a fancy ring and ceremony, just the bond of marriage. He might come off with the whole "it's just a piece of paper" crap, tell him it is not just a piece of paper to you. Reassure him that you're not a clingy needy bride to be, but a woman who needs to know if her future is going to be what she wants it to be.

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ImNotKarl
by Karl on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:00 PM

I've been with my fiance almost 7 years, living together for 4 years, and we just got engaged this year. We don't have a date set for the wedding, and we've been engaged for almost a year now. It'll happen when it happens. Marriage is scary for some people, like my man. He's nervous about it, not because he thinks we won't make it, but because of the change in the way people perceive our relationship and he's afraid we'll love each other less. So I'm letting him take his time with things.

As far as the insurance goes, I'm listed as my love's domestic partner. It works with heterosexual relationships, which I didn't know for a long time as I always had my own medical coverage, so look into it.

squeekers
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:38 PM

 it's 2012, propose to him.

I'm a Humanist.
Question everything, except your Mother.
SAHM of one teen DD. Married since 1989.
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