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Help guys!! I think my relationship is nearing the end :-(

Posted by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:34 PM
  • 8 Replies

Ok so this is what's going on... I've been with my boyfriend well technically my fiance for 4 years now, but in those 4 years we were in a long distant relationship for 2 of them. When he finally finished his training  (he's a combat medic in the Army) he started visiting me in Florida more often then he moved here in 2010 (yay!!). We found out we were pregnant only 5 months after he moved here, but our relationship was still pretty good.  When our son was 2 months old he wanted me to move in with him so I did (I hated being at my moms house). That's when things got bad. Now here's the big problem... I cheated on him in August with this guy that was living with us for about a month (we were trying to help him out). It was one night we got into a big argument and I was crying and my boyfriend went to sleep the guy heard me crying and he came and we talked and he gave me a hug, which I really appreciated because my boyfriend doesn't do that anymore. Then he kissed me. I freaked out pulled back and told him I'm going to bed. Well I didn't tell my boyfriend because he would kick the guy out and he wouldn't have anyplace to stay. A month later my boyfriend saw a text in my phone from him and asked what did I do and I told him and he went crazy he made me take all of the guys stuff out of the house and throw it outside. To make matters worse I really want to be friends with the guy that I kissed because he's really nice person to talk to and I know I won't do anything like that again, but my boyfriend won't even let me look at his facebook page and he keeps my phone when I'm home and I only get it back I'm going out. We haven't recovered from this yet and it seems like he doesn't want to. I told him that I think after our lease is up I'm leaving and he doesn't fight for me to stay. Should I just not prolong it and break up now? Can we live together and be broken up? Our son is 10 months old now so should we break up now so he doesn't have any memories of his mom and dad together? Do you think babies know when their parents are arguing?

by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:34 PM
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Replies (1-8):
melli_karisa
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 10:07 PM
im kind of on the same situation! i cheated on my fiancé last year (we've been together for five years) because he we were fighting a lot and my friend gave me more attention. needless to say im still dealing with him "not trusting" me but we're doing counseling to work things out. our son is almost 6 months old he didn't have to stay but he did. keep working at it. nothing good comes easily! love is hard work!
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Fun-Size-Mom
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:56 PM
I think he's trying to get back at me. Last night around 3 some girl called him I answered and gave him the phone but he was sleep talking so I took the phone from him to tell who ever it was that he was sleeping and I'd take a message but when I said hello to her she hung up. I could hear her calling him Robbie and telling him to wake up. When I called him Robbie he said he hated it and told me not to call him that. I don't know what's going on with him.
AliKatCam
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:15 PM

That right there tells me you need to break it off. I would never be with a man who tries to control me or my personal posessions like that. You made a mistake but that is no reason for him to have control over you like that.That is just insane. I think you should just bite the bullet and move back in with your mom. Staying with him even if you are broken up is a huge no-no.  I am sorry that you have to go through this.

Quoting Fun-Size-Mom:

Ok so this is what's going on... I've been with my boyfriend well technically my fiance for 4 years now, but in those 4 years we were in a long distant relationship for 2 of them. When he finally finished his training  (he's a combat medic in the Army) he started visiting me in Florida more often then he moved here in 2010 (yay!!). We found out we were pregnant only 5 months after he moved here, but our relationship was still pretty good.  When our son was 2 months old he wanted me to move in with him so I did (I hated being at my moms house). That's when things got bad. Now here's the big problem... I cheated on him in August with this guy that was living with us for about a month (we were trying to help him out). It was one night we got into a big argument and I was crying and my boyfriend went to sleep the guy heard me crying and he came and we talked and he gave me a hug, which I really appreciated because my boyfriend doesn't do that anymore. Then he kissed me. I freaked out pulled back and told him I'm going to bed. Well I didn't tell my boyfriend because he would kick the guy out and he wouldn't have anyplace to stay. A month later my boyfriend saw a text in my phone from him and asked what did I do and I told him and he went crazy he made me take all of the guys stuff out of the house and throw it outside. To make matters worse I really want to be friends with the guy that I kissed because he's really nice person to talk to and I know I won't do anything like that again, but my boyfriend won't even let me look at his facebook page and he keeps my phone when I'm home and I only get it back I'm going out. We haven't recovered from this yet and it seems like he doesn't want to. I told him that I think after our lease is up I'm leaving and he doesn't fight for me to stay. Should I just not prolong it and break up now? Can we live together and be broken up? Our son is 10 months old now so should we break up now so he doesn't have any memories of his mom and dad together? Do you think babies know when their parents are arguing?


shilohkitten
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:54 PM

You are wiling to break up your relationship because of some douche that made a move on you when he knew you were already taken?

You need to prioritize yourself.  Your boyfriend's probably mad because you care so much about some douche that is pretty much a nobody.  You should have been up front with him from the beginning and told him what happened - you put the other guy first and protected him when really your loyalty should have been to your boyfriend.  If the idiot was so concerned about not having someplace to live, then he shouldn't have made a move on you!

You need to take a chill pill and realize that relationships have ups and downs.  You are in a down. If it's worth it to you to work it out, then work it out.  You have to do the hard work if you want the benefits of the good times with your BF.

And YES children pick up on everything their parents do.  Think about how much better your kids' life will be with both parents together who have learned to work through hard times together.  Or would you rather just teach him to give up on everything the second it gets hard?  

ruby_jewel_04
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:29 PM
I agree 100% he's controlling, which often times becomes abusive later. Run, don't walk away from this jerk.


Quoting AliKatCam:

That right there tells me you need to break it off. I would never be with a man who tries to control me or my personal posessions like that. You made a mistake but that is no reason for him to have control over you like that.That is just insane. I think you should just bite the bullet and move back in with your mom. Staying with him even if you are broken up is a huge no-no.  I am sorry that you have to go through this.

Quoting Fun-Size-Mom:

Ok so this is what's going on... I've been with my boyfriend well technically my fiance for 4 years now, but in those 4 years we were in a long distant relationship for 2 of them. When he finally finished his training  (he's a combat medic in the Army) he started visiting me in Florida more often then he moved here in 2010 (yay!!). We found out we were pregnant only 5 months after he moved here, but our relationship was still pretty good.  When our son was 2 months old he wanted me to move in with him so I did (I hated being at my moms house). That's when things got bad. Now here's the big problem... I cheated on him in August with this guy that was living with us for about a month (we were trying to help him out). It was one night we got into a big argument and I was crying and my boyfriend went to sleep the guy heard me crying and he came and we talked and he gave me a hug, which I really appreciated because my boyfriend doesn't do that anymore. Then he kissed me. I freaked out pulled back and told him I'm going to bed. Well I didn't tell my boyfriend because he would kick the guy out and he wouldn't have anyplace to stay. A month later my boyfriend saw a text in my phone from him and asked what did I do and I told him and he went crazy he made me take all of the guys stuff out of the house and throw it outside. To make matters worse I really want to be friends with the guy that I kissed because he's really nice person to talk to and I know I won't do anything like that again, but my boyfriend won't even let me look at his facebook page and he keeps my phone when I'm home and I only get it back I'm going out. We haven't recovered from this yet and it seems like he doesn't want to. I told him that I think after our lease is up I'm leaving and he doesn't fight for me to stay. Should I just not prolong it and break up now? Can we live together and be broken up? Our son is 10 months old now so should we break up now so he doesn't have any memories of his mom and dad together? Do you think babies know when their parents are arguing?



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Snapdragon88
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM
So... a friend a kissed you, you pulled away and went to bed, and that's considered cheating?? Or did more happen?
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Fun-Size-Mom
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:16 AM
That's all that happened I wouldn't let anything else happen. Everything to this guy is cheating. I was so shocked and mad that he kissed me I couldn't even talk to him for days. It was really awkward at our house because no one was talking to each other. Me thinking about where this guy was going to stay and not just coming right out is what really hurt my boyfriend. I also think what got him really mad was how close our son and the guy got. You know when this happened I thought he would just forgive me because at the beginning of our relationship he cheated on me and I forgave him right then and there but he won't do the same for me.
a06z08mama
by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:25 AM
Sorry to say. But if he can't forgive you. Then that says to me he is obviously still pulling his games. I would talk to him about it. If he doesn't act like he truly wants to help the relationship. By going to counseling and having communication. Then I think its time to move on. Seek counseling for yourself. To help you. Suggest it to him. My ex never wanted to talk to some stranger. Only the head minister at his church. Who I felt would give a biased opinion or view on things. Ex put on a good show and would never fully admit to his wrong doing in our marriage. Even tonight he wouldn't! And we have Bern divorced since July! Split since February!

Good luck. Find some counseling. But from I am getting is that he is still cheating himself.
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