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20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

IF YOU ARE FAT, YOU ARE A BAD MOTHER *EDIT

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by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:37 AM
Replies (41-50):
butterflycircle
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:23 AM

I am over weight. My kids don't see me work out (but I do). I teach my kids that fruits and veggies are important. I make sure they eat their veggies. We don't keep sweets in the house and when we do have them we only have them at certaint times of the day (after lunch or after they finish thier veggies at dinner but b4 7pm).  We play outside and go to the park in the summer spring and fall. The winter is harder to get out but we try to remain active.

I am trying to get back to my pre pregnancy weight (originally and when I am not pregnant). I try to add in tons of veggies and I limit startches and sweets and opt for veggies (the greener the better) over fruits. I want my kids to have a healthy body image and I want them to generally be healthy. My being over weight I don't think makes a difference to them and if it does I hope that it makes them want to eat/be healthier.

mama2gg
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:31 AM

 I don't think a over weight parent MEANS a bad parent are they setting BAD examples for the kids YES, and I am sure they are also teaching them HORRID eating habits but I don't think that makes them a BAD person or parent just uneducated about what they are doing to themselves and their children,

alc4evermom
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:31 AM


Quoting DayDreamer1201:

21. When I was 5-10 I was molested by my step brother and since that all happened, I stopped taking care of myself. 

Quoting Page98:

How old are you? 

Quoting DayDreamer1201:

I am a bigger woman, always have been... I always eat right and excercise with my kiddo, but with how I treated myself when I was younger, I feel I will never get back to where I should be



I was abused growing up so I understand what you mean by not taking care of yourself.  I self abused for YEARS---which actually I feel made me a bad parent.  however, that can stop, and life is better once it does.  Being skinny or fat is a VERY small part of it---being skinny or fat doesn't even mean whether someone takes care of themselves;  it's more about what's going on upstairs in our heads.  I feel like by being HEALTHY is making those people who hurt me lose the battle.  They want us to suffer---that's why they did it.  If we are strong they feel threatened.  If we are strong, better people come into our lives.  You are a survivor, don't forget that!

lovinmama411
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:33 AM

Bad parent? No. Bad example? Yes. All parents do things that are setting bad examples in one form or another. I have known parents who were overweight though and make tremendous effort to feed their kids healthy and make sure they get plenty of exercise so they don't end up with weight issues. I wouldn't call that a bad parent at all.

goodmama85
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:34 AM
Eh.i was losing weight but ended up putting it all back on :/ but that has no effect whatsoever on my parenting abilities.
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HaileysMom07180
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:36 AM

Other - i'm not fat, i am not the weight I want to be but then i probably never will be.  i weigh under the normal range, but before my dd was born i was a stick.

karamille
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:39 AM

No, I don't think the two are related.  Most of the really bad moms I know are skinny.  Not saying all skinny moms are bad moms, but being thin doesn't automatically give you nomination for mom of the year.  There are equally unhealthy people with bad habits who are thin.  A good friend of mine can eat anything she wants and not gain weight.  Her house is full of junkfood.  A girl work with lives on cigarettes so she doesn't eat.  Neither are good health habits.  Then there's the whole group with eating disorders/food issues...

I am the heaviest I have ever been due to health problems I had for a year, and it takes time to get that weight back off now that I am well.  I may do things a little differently since my joints feel really different (not painful, but uncomfortable) with the weight on, but we still get the end result.  Like play board games at the table rather than on the floor, we swim at the aquatic center more than we walk on the trails, etc... I do still get down on the floor and play, but for things that can be done at a table, we generally do.  

AtiFreeFalls
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:40 AM
I'm overweight and have only myself to blame. No health problems, no mental problems, its just how j have always been. Even so, my family makes fun of me because of how I eat. Whole grain everything, home cooked everything... according to them I am a health nut. I exercise, too. Not always as hard as I should, but I do. My weight comes from overindulgence in home baked goodies.

I consider myself to be a great mom. My kids are fed healthy food, we do active things together... do they eat more sugar than they should? Yeah. But they are both at a healthy weight and are well cared for.

No, I don't agree that being fat makes you a bad mother.
mickstinator
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:48 AM

poor self care does set a bad example, just like poor hygiene or work ethic would also set a bad example in those areas. none of those individual issues is comprehensive enough to make a broad statement like that, though.

tbursac777
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:54 AM
3 moms liked this

 my question is... what about mom's who are naturally skinny, but eat like crap and don't exersice? what about them? are they bad parents?

in turn, what about mom's who are overweight, and exersice, and eat good, but are still conisdered overweight?

 

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