So my mom went with me to my doc appointment last week. And the entire time, she talked about her health, her problems, her life etc. The doc knew about my mom's ENTIRE medical history before she knew about mine! I told mom to hush, that it was MY appointment, and she got upset and started crying and telling me I was a bad daughter. Yeah-not happy about that.
This weekend I went to go see her and hang out with her for a while. She started talking about the delivery and how she was going to be there holding my hand the entire time and she wants to be the first one to see the baby. Oh and be right there beside me the entire time I am in labor because she has been through it all 3 different times. I told her no to the labor because she will turn everything into being about her and that she will only make matters worse, and I told her that I only wanted hubby in the room during the delivery and that we (as our child's parents) have the right to see him/her first. And she threw a fit about how I am so unsupportive of her wanting to be a grandmother and that my live revolves around my hubby now, and how I am forgetting that not only am I a wife, but I am a daughter as well.
This is so irritating to me right now. She is turning EVERYTHING to be about her. Dont get me wrong, I love my mom. And call me selfish if you want, but with me being preggo, my live SHOULD revolve around the baby, hubby, and myself- my family. The only help she has been has been to tell me of what could go wrong and how her pregnancies where. About how she couldnt breasfeed because of bleeding nipples etc. and how I wouldnt be able to do anything like that. I love how she tells me ALL the time that I will have problems with my pregnancy and be high risk because everyone woman in my family has been high risk (which I am NOT by the way. Doc says everything is looking good and that I really dont need any genetic testing because of my heritage, background, and hubby's). I think she enjoys scaring me because then everything will be about her.
She is even throwing a fit because I told her the baby would not come and visit till she gets her house cleaned and she stops smoking in the house so much. She doesnt keep a very clean house (to say the least) and because of her 'allergy' to everything, the windows are boarded up and covered- so no fresh air or sunlight. That isnt healthy for a child, especially a newborn.
She also wants to come and stay with us for a few weeks after the baby is born- to care for the baby while i cook and clean because she cant do it herself. Hello? That is suppossed to be MY time to bond with MY child. If she was coming to help with everything, I probably woundnt mind.
I guess all this stems from not having a good relationship with her when I was a child (she enjoyed her boyfriends too much to take care of 3 kids, so we were raised by my grandmother) so now I rather have my grandmother with me through all this. Hubby and I were even talking about letting my grandmother be the first one to hold our LO, and my mom DID NOT appreciate that.
What am I to do? I am nervous about being a mom for the first time already, but now I have to deal with this. I am almost at my wit's end with the whole situation. I dont want to hurt my mom, but this is suppossed to be MY time, not hers. Sorry just needed to vent to someone (anyone!) and neither hubby or MIL is here!