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So here's my situation

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:14 PM
  • 30 Replies
My daughters father and I have been off and on for over 3 years. My daughter will b 2 January 3rd. We have never lived together I stayed with my parents when she was born because he didnt have a job to support us and staying at my parents house seemed to be the easiest thing I was 17 when I got pregnant 18 when I had her and I'm 20 now. Her dad is 22 now. Things are really hard living with my family there isn't enough room and no privacy so I have applied for an appartment that goes off ur income for rent. I have a part time job as a CNA and am a student waiting to be accepted in a nursing program. I make 700-1000 a month but 500 goes to my car payment and insurance. I also get financial aid from school. He doesn't have a job only does car work and other things to make money but does make enough to buy things for us and help out. We argue a lot and have since I was pregnant. He says he is going to straighten up and get a job and go to school to be a mechanic but I have seen no effort on his part to make this happen. He wants to live with us in this apartment. He has never trusted me completely and accuses me of things all the time. His life is not where it should be and he can be very hard to get along with. My problem is I really won't be able to afford to live on my own without his help and if I tell him he can't live there I know he will act stupid about helping me. Idk what to do. Does anybody have advise?
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by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Courtney610
by Courtney on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:18 PM
Do you actually want to be with him? It doesnt sound like a healthy relationship at all.

Does he pay child support?
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skittlebeans88
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:19 PM
2 moms liked this
Dont let him live with you. Get foid stamps, assistance if you need it. He seems like he is only using you for a place to live and will only bring you down
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avasmama1375
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:35 PM
I don't know if I want to be with him or not. He's her dad and I do love him but he has let me down a lot. He doesn't pay formal child support cuz I have never filed but he does pay for things she needs


Quoting Courtney610:

Do you actually want to be with him? It doesnt sound like a healthy relationship at all.

Does he pay child support?

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mstkn.identity
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:37 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't for it. Don't sound like it will end well.
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ruby_jewel_04
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:58 PM
1 mom liked this
Don't let him move in. he will be a lazy bum and mooch off you, and make you're life Hell. It doesn't sound like you really want to be with him anyway. There's help you can get. You can do it in your own.
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zanderNerynMOM
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:14 PM
3 moms liked this

dont let him move in with you. If its based on your income, then he can't anyway. AND FILE FOR CHILD SUPPORT thru the system. That way you get what you need for sure.

avasmama1375
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:18 PM
He doesn't have a job so I wouldn't get any money through that


Quoting zanderNerynMOM:

dont let him move in with you. If its based on your income, then he can't anyway. AND FILE FOR CHILD SUPPORT thru the system. That way you get what you need for sure.


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zanderNerynMOM
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:51 PM

Usually income based housing is based on income versus how many people live in the home, but I still wouldn't do it

Quoting avasmama1375:

He doesn't have a job so I wouldn't get any money through that


Quoting zanderNerynMOM:

dont let him move in with you. If its based on your income, then he can't anyway. AND FILE FOR CHILD SUPPORT thru the system. That way you get what you need for sure.



Page98
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:21 PM
3 moms liked this

If you cant afford to live on your own, then you simply cannot live on your own.


Privacy is not a right, its a privilege; one that comes with a price. Unfortunately, at some point you have to pay for your bad choices... and this seems to be the time. My advice to you, is to stay with your parents until you can afford to live on your own.

As for the guy.... ditch him for real without going back. Thats a horrible way to deal with a relationship and a horrible example to set for your girls.

vwd_johnson
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:30 PM
In my state, even if the man doesn't have a job, CS forces $25 a wk and tells them they have to show constant proof of applying for jobs.

The extra $100 would at least help a littttle bit and maybe he would get a job on books and pay more.

Honestly I think you're better off doing it alone. Seems its possible that you had the baby young with him and you just have this immature relationship thats no use. He's not helping with the baby, he doesn't have a steady job, he doesn't trust you, and you're just wasting your time.

Good luck. Perhaps apply for foodstamps and some help until things get easier financially.
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