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if i wasnt laughing so hard i would have spanked him!!!

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:48 AM
  • 19 Replies
1 mom liked this

My son (5 years) .. as with all children.. really comes out of nowhere with his comments some times. Where he probably should get a smack on the tush.. if i werent laughing so hard. Last night i think his comment will go into his top 5 hall of fames.. #5.

Hes gets distracted easily and whilst doing his little kindergarten homework.. he kept losing focus.. upon the 100th time i had to tell him .. "homework now, talk later" he shouts back at me:

"UGH I AM WOMAN JEEZE"

i was a little shocked this came from my 5 year old.. but instead of getting angry i couldnt stop laughing.. he did get a stong talking to after i had calmed down a bit.

And just for fun here are his other top 4 "if i wasnt dying of laughter id smack you"

1.) as he is in the room while i am getting dressed: "mommy those pants dont fit you .. your butts way too big"

2.) walking home he saw a dome shaped porta potty by a construction site "WOW mommy that things huge and white like you!"

3.) My personal favorite - it was hot in the house "Phew.. IM SWEATING LIKE A HOOKER IN CHURCH"

4.) On the bus a veluptious woman boards very well endowed in the breast area.. and on the top of his lungs: "WOAH WHAT THE HECK MOMMY SHES GOT RRREEEAAALLLYY BIG BOOBIES"

(i was more mortified then laughing.. i could not believe he said that.. he was just over 4y at the time..he got a strong talking to after we got off.. and luckily the woman was a good sport.. he did leave her face a little red.. believe me mine was redder)

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsLondon
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:51 AM
1 mom liked this

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hilarious!!

Nicoles2LilRams
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:41 AM
2 moms liked this

LMAO

My kids say funny stuff, but it's usually never anything uncomfortable for me (I know, I'm lucky!)

BUT... I do have a funny story about something I overheard a little girl say.  I was in the bathroom at Kohls (where I work) and a mom was in another stall with her daughter and her daughter said "Ewww mom!  Look at your butt!  It's so big!" And then she started singing: "Mommy has a big fat butt, Mommy has a big fat butt!"  And her mom couldn't get her to stop or quiet down at all.  It took everything in me to wait until I left the bathroom before I started cracking up!

hudson.maggie
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:43 AM
1 mom liked this

 LOL

KRYSTALK1013
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:34 AM
1 mom liked this

Tooooooo funny! I'm laughing so hard my eyes are watering! Huge and white? Poor mommy! I would've been mortified!

MonkeyMommyNJ
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:40 AM

i know right.. and being the fact that he came out only a shade darker then my complexion.. the nerve! (daddy is taino puerto rican.. very dark skinned.. im actually suprised my son came out so light.. with dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes to boot.. guess i have the stronger genes)

Quoting KRYSTALK1013:

Tooooooo funny! I'm laughing so hard my eyes are watering! Huge and white? Poor mommy! I would've been mortified!


KRYSTALK1013
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:41 AM

I bet he's GORGEOUS! What a mix!

Quoting MonkeyMommyNJ:

i know right.. and being the fact that he came out only a shade darker then my complexion.. the nerve! (daddy is taino puerto rican.. very dark skinned.. im actually suprised my son came out so light.. with dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes to boot.. guess i have the stronger genes)

Quoting KRYSTALK1013:

Tooooooo funny! I'm laughing so hard my eyes are watering! Huge and white? Poor mommy! I would've been mortified!



MonkeyMommyNJ
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:47 AM

Thank you! yeah hes mommies little prince.. and a mutt ..lol puerto rican german italian and norweigian! im still waiting to have my girl.. most of my family on my fathers side is blonde hair blue eyes.. so i carry the recessive gene.. i hope i get a girl one day with her daddys skin tone.. my light hair.. and the blue eyes.. and of course daddys metabolism and height... lol.. hes 6ft 150lbs (skinny minnie).. im 4ft 11in and 190.. more cushion for the pushin baby..lolololololoolololol

Quoting KRYSTALK1013:

I bet he's GORGEOUS! What a mix!

Quoting MonkeyMommyNJ:

i know right.. and being the fact that he came out only a shade darker then my complexion.. the nerve! (daddy is taino puerto rican.. very dark skinned.. im actually suprised my son came out so light.. with dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes to boot.. guess i have the stronger genes)

Quoting KRYSTALK1013:

Tooooooo funny! I'm laughing so hard my eyes are watering! Huge and white? Poor mommy! I would've been mortified!




Chibi_Kitten
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 4:15 PM
2 moms liked this

 Those are AWESOME!!!

I can only think of a couple off the top of my head but my kids kill me with their hilarity!

When my 9yo was about 5yo, his sister was just a few months old and I was breastfeeding. We went out for ice cream and I ended up chatting with another lady who had a young baby, we got to talking about breastfeeding and potty training and all that stuff. Well, my then 4/5yo son asks her if she makes chocolate milk because her skin is black. I was so mortified but she laughed it off and explained to him that skin color is only skin deep.

A few weeks ago, we went to Sea World and they have this snow globe thing you climb inside to take pictures. Super cool. Well, they have to ask before you go in if you've had any recent surgeries, are pregnant, have any health conditions or heart conditions and yadda yadda yadda. When the guy asked if I was pregnant, my daughter says yes at the same time I said no. My daughter then says and I quote "Yes, Mommy, you are having a baby because your boobies and butt are getting SO SUPER BIG!!!" Thanks, sweetheart.

sophia497
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:26 PM
2 moms liked this

my son is three and is facinated by hinnies as he calls them, one day in a walmart restroom a heavy set black lady walks in and she had a huge ass, i notice him looking at it and tell him to not even think about it, he usually will grab it, but this time he says but momma shes got a big ole' hinnie. i immedietly make him leave and about a 15 minutes later we see the same lady again and shes telling her friend that the little boy that said i had a big ass. 

MomRocs1102
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow, lmbo this is so funny i love the big boobies, and the woman jeeze.  They do say what ever comes to mind.  My ds said to my sister(his aunt) auntie you have little bitty baby bumps and my mom has big oll bumps.  (bumps are boobs).  Then he had a kid picking on him in school he told us the problem with the kid is their a smart ass.  I am millions more he has no problem speaking his mind.... and no hes not a cursing child

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