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The locator

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 4:39 PM
  • 3 Replies

Hey everyone!

Has anyone heard of or watched the show called 'The Locator?' If you haven't, it's a show about a man, Troy Dunn, who locates family members, friends or anyone that you may be searching for and helps you reunite with them. With that being said, I love the show and I love hearing the stories of family members reuniting after years. It definitely hits home to me because I was adopted. The reason I am making this post though is because everytime I watch it now I tear up thinking about my daughter, I know it's way too early to worry about this but it's hard not to! I left her "dad" when she was 5 months old, during her first 5 months he wasn't present so me leaving and being on my own wasn't something new to me. He is completely out of our lives now and hasn't seen her since she was about 10 months, he saw her a couple of times between 5 and 10 months of age. I was in a terrible relationship with him for almost 3 years, I had always had the intention of leaving him but of course never did, my daughter gave me the strength and will to do so. My daughter and I have an amazing man in our lives now, he's a great father to her and she is completely head over heels for him! Despite having the family for her that I had wanted from the very beginning I still find myself worrying about when she grows older and begins to ask about the boy who biologically is her father, yes, I refer to him as a boy. As of right now, she refers to my boyfriend as daddy, it took me a while to be okay with that where as he just smiled when she did! Anyways, it scares me and worries me to think about her ever trying to locate him. He is a horrible human being and I would hate for her to have to find that out herself. I've already thought of the things I would say to her, the simple "We were young and he just wasn't ready." statement. I'm not sure how much of the truth I should tell her and when, if ever. I have friends who are much closer to their step-parents than they are to the ones who gave birth to them, I know blood doesn't make family and I really hope she understands that she's so much better off with the decision I made and that I made it for her and me both. I'm sorry for this being long and somewhat all over the place! Any advice or just comments would be appreciated! Thanks guys!

by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 4:39 PM
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Replies (1-3):
katiecat87
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:18 PM

 I would just be honest with her and keep it age appropriate. Something she can understand at whatever age she starts asking. I am in no means that situation however my mother passed away when I was young and I have nothing to do with my father because he is an awful person. So the only family my children have on my side is my siblings and my mom's parents. My 4 year old DD knows that my mom's parents are my grandparents and she calls them grandma and grandpa even though they are her great grandparents. She has just recently started asking me where my mom and dad are. I tell her that my mom is with the angels and that my dad wasn't a good guy and mommy doesn't talk to him anymore. I don't give her any details. She isn't old enough to know why I don't talk to my father anymore.

katiecat87
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:19 PM

By the way I love that show too...

emeraldangel2.0
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:27 PM

i love that show. i wish netflix had it

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