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2 year old help

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:45 AM
  • 17 Replies

Ok yes I realise that my daughter is only two, and its the terrible two's, but how do I get a two year old to understand that if she just walks up to strangers to give them a hug that they might take her away from me?  Also, how do I get her to stay by my side when we are running errands and my hands are full with my almost 3 week old baby.  I have one of those child leases, is that a bad thing to use it?  I hate punishing her in public, the last time I spanked her for running away from me in public was 6 months ago, and a man came up to me and told me I should never hit my child?!?! Im at a lose to know what to do, I need some serious advice, do I spank her? Do I leash her? How do I punish her with all these laws about not beating your kids, I dont think I beat her by any means, is one spanking in the middle of the parking lot considered a beating? I know its illegal now to wash kids mouths out with soap, its considered abuse apparently, it worked when I cursed at my mom, but now I cant do the same to stop her from cursing or telling me to shut up, I have no idea where she picks up this kinda language.

Sarah

Lost Mommy of two

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kris0921
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:49 AM
I use my sons (backpack) its a leash. He likes wearing it, I have made it fun for him to wear it. If people bash on me oh well at least my child isnt running off. He will be 2 in April and now holds my hand in parking lots instead of trying to run off.
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SKLAVEN
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:51 AM

Does he go to random strangers?  That is my biggest worry right now, that someone will take her, is there a way to teach her that "Stranger Danger?"

frzmamaof4
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:52 AM
I used the leash backpack as well and it worked. I had people say stuff as well, but they were the ones who ended up having to chase their children;-)
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TheMommaJessie
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:31 AM

I have a safety harness that I use with my ds who is 2. He has had one since he was about 15 months because he would run around when i had my hands full of groceries, books, purse ect he would get away and run in to roads ect. That would also keep her from running up to strangers my son has a built in hesitancy of strangers, do not know why but he will not get near any one he doesn't know but he will wave at them and say hi but that's all.

Reina13
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 12:56 PM

There is a delicate balance with children that young trying to teach them about stranger danger and having them afraid of everyone.  Make it into a game. Where she stays by your side. Maybe enlist her 'help' with the baby when you are out and about. Allow her to carry a bottle or a baby toy or something like that. Something that will make her feel her job is important and that she needs to stay by your side to do it.



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rockinfirekitty
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 1:01 PM
1 mom liked this

I totally get what you mean about the leash! We took our little girl to our local fair and had it on her with the strap around my wrist while holding her hand. I still got told off about it and dirty looks! So mama you do what you have to do because either way someone is going to find something to tell you off about because then if I had lost her they would have been like "well why didnt you harness her shame shame shame" :)Maybe you could harness her to the cart and then start teaching her to hold on to the cart with her had and not let go.

And I know this next part is going to sound really weird but you could try the "ccccrazy eyes". When my daughter is trying to get out of the cart or run off I give her the crazy eyes and speak in a different tone of voice. Small words very clearly. She will usually chill out but if not then I take her down an aisle with little or no people for a little privacy and I tell her a little more intensely vocally to sit  down and stuff. Thats usually enough for her to stick out the lip, have a little pout, and let me get what I need to get out of there. Or maybe if you tell her like "ok we have to go mail this letter if you stay close you can put it in the box" or "Mommy needs grape jelly can you get it off the shelf and hand it to mommy" or "hey let play a game called how long can you hold onto mommys shirt while we walk" or something. However I do know that every child is different so it might not work. Whatever way you do though I would stick to it and stand up to her, even in public, so she knows who is in charge even outside of the house.

May the force be with you mama :D


TempestRayne
by Donna on Jan. 8, 2013 at 3:03 PM
Quoting rockinfirekitty:

I totally get what you mean about the leash! We took our little girl to our local fair and had it on her with the strap around my wrist while holding her hand. I still got told off about it and dirty looks! So mama you do what you have to do because either way someone is going to find something to tell you off about because then if I had lost her they would have been like "well why didnt you harness her shame shame shame" :)Maybe you could harness her to the cart and then start teaching her to hold on to the cart with her had and not let go.

And I know this next part is going to sound really weird but you could try the "ccccrazy eyes". When my daughter is trying to get out of the cart or run off I give her the crazy eyes and speak in a different tone of voice. Small words very clearly. She will usually chill out but if not then I take her down an aisle with little or no people for a little privacy and I tell her a little more intensely vocally to sit  down and stuff. Thats usually enough for her to stick out the lip, have a little pout, and let me get what I need to get out of there. Or maybe if you tell her like "ok we have to go mail this letter if you stay close you can put it in the box" or "Mommy needs grape jelly can you get it off the shelf and hand it to mommy" or "hey let play a game called how long can you hold onto mommys shirt while we walk" or something. However I do know that every child is different so it might not work. Whatever way you do though I would stick to it and stand up to her, even in public, so she knows who is in charge even outside of the house.

May the force be with you mama :D


ImNotKarl
by Karl on Jan. 8, 2013 at 3:19 PM

I put my son in the cart at the store when he's not walking well, and he's never tried to run and hug strangers, but when he gets too far I just make it a game to race back to mommy. Refocus and rewarding good behavior is more effective than punishment. My son knows if he's good at the store I'll let him pick one thing. Last night he picked strawberries. Sometimes he just wants a sticker from the cashier or a balloon. I've only had to punish him in public one time, and we DO NOT spank, so he sat in time out at the store until he stopped crying and calmed down and after that he behaved.

As far as the soap, my mom always used white vinegar. I still don't like foods with a heavy vinegar flavor. Our son knows not to swear in public. Sometimes when he's playing alone and he drops a toy or something he'll mutter a curse under his breath, and we just ignore it because if we make a big deal out of it he'll just do it for attention when he's bored instead of doing positive things.

I don't have a problem with kid leashes as long as the kid isn't being tugged on like an ill-treated and poorly trained dog. You're going to get flack from it though. We taught him from a young age to hold hands in parking lots and across the street, and that he should only talk to strangers if mommy is holding his hand or touching his back or head so it's safe. We made it a game, and started as soon as he started showing interest in walking rather than riding the stroller. 

mommyof2andTTC
by Alicia on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:40 PM

 Oh hun,, I am sorry... I have Two of those kids who hates other people and any time we leave the house (one is 7 and the other 4) They are attached to my legs... I have no advice for you there,, but 1 spank is not child abuse... I spank,, and my 7 yr old is actually really well behaved now... my 4 yr old is getting there but they are curious little buggers... I dont like those leashes but I would rather have a leashed child than an abducted one... best of luck to you

Mommy of 2 girls & TTC #3 twin girls & baby dust

midjet117
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:28 PM
I think child leashes are great. I wish i had them when my twins were small. I remember trying to try on clothes at the mall one time and they were all over the darn place. I say if it keeps your kid close then do it
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