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20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

Ok yes I realise that my daughter is only two, and its the terrible two's, but how do I get a two year old to understand that if she just walks up to strangers to give them a hug that they might take her away from me?  Also, how do I get her to stay by my side when we are running errands and my hands are full with my almost 3 week old baby.  I have one of those child leases, is that a bad thing to use it?  I hate punishing her in public, the last time I spanked her for running away from me in public was 6 months ago, and a man came up to me and told me I should never hit my child?!?! Im at a lose to know what to do, I need some serious advice, do I spank her? Do I leash her? How do I punish her with all these laws about not beating your kids, I dont think I beat her by any means, is one spanking in the middle of the parking lot considered a beating? I know its illegal now to wash kids mouths out with soap, its considered abuse apparently, it worked when I cursed at my mom, but now I cant do the same to stop her from cursing or telling me to shut up, I have no idea where she picks up this kinda language.

Sarah

Lost Mommy of two

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:45 AM
Replies (11-17):
.Peaches.
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 1:00 AM
1 mom liked this

 I personally don't have a problem with physical discipline, but other moms do, so you're going to get mixed answers. My advice to you is to do what YOU'RE comfortable with. If you're ok with popping or spanking her when she misbehaves, don't change it because of someone else's opinion. Nobody has to know your business- you don't have to share with everyone that you physically discipline your child. Personally, I've never had anyone come up to me and tell me not to pop my DD's...if they did, they'd get the cuss-out of a lifetime. Then again, I really don't have to do it too often in public...I can give my kids a look, and they know what's up.

I used a child leash with my oldest DD after I had my middle DD. A newborn and a 16 month old were a lot to deal with! I didn't care what other people though, they weren't going to help me chase her down when she tried to run across the street, now were they?

She's still a baby, really, only 2. The only way you're really going to get 'Stranger Danger' to stick is to repeat it to her until she seems to understand, but in a way that won't have her hanging onto your pants leg, screaming in public like she's lost her mind, everytime someone looks at her.

As far as her smart mouth goes...for me, I'll only tell my kids "Don't say that" or "That's not a nice word/thing to say" so much before I start with "Didn't I tell you not to say that again?". If I have to say it too many times, then its either time out or spanking. I've never had my DDs tell me to shut up before, and if they did, it'd only have been that one time....believe that.

And I hate to be the one to tell you this but....3 is WAYYYY worse than 2. So you're right to want to nip this stuff in the bud now, because at 3, it'll only get worse if you don't.

SpiderTresses
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 1:58 AM
I work with toddlers, at first because I got put in there but ended up loving it. Honestly you can spank your child if you want. It does not matter what others think BUT as a toddler teacher in a daycare setting that does not fly. And when we do pony rides or field trips I have to just keep an eye on every one. Now I have to ones that stick close but I have 4 that love to not listen and run off. But I noticed with 2 of them if I get further than a grocery store aisle away from them they run back to me. Now I have two that that does not phase them and, unfortunately, I have to hold on to them. I don't know how I feel, personally, about leashes because it teaches no boundaries just like baby gates. The more and more you explain it to a child they will understand but if they don't listen to me, as I do not believe in removing them from my class since they'll feel like they can get of the hook, I put them in time out. I feel bad that you have a baby in the middle of all this but toddlers need to be put in their place. So when all those fail I put my kids in time out, step and face enough away to where I see them from the corner of my eye and if they get out I put them back until they sit or until they acknowledge the reason why they are in there and I take them out. If they go back to doing it I put them right back until they understand. It's a very testing age and some kids don't act as bad as others. I know it's time consuming but with a toddler it just comes with the age. And you can not show inconsistency. I did that the first month I ever started and at the time I had 13 kids ranging from 18 months to 3 yo and they decided they could run all over me so I started putting everyone in time out and soon they got it after a month or 2. It won't be instant results and it will test you beyond anything but the end result after a couple months is so worth it.
SpiderTresses
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 2:02 AM
Oh and it may seem pointless at first but I can tell you they may not act like they do but they do understand you. She is pushing you to your limits. Don't let her. My daughter started early and man does it blow to come from work and deal with it at home too but it is a phase and I've noticed a huge change around the age of 3 on how well they listen(tantrums are still there though :( )
SpiderTresses
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 2:09 AM
Oh and the cursing is rather easy to nip in the butt. A kid started saying the f word and I flipped and he kept saying it so I asked my manager what to do and she said next time he said it to say "oh you mean duck?" and he actually started saying duck BUT the key to getting them to stop is to not be shocked when they say it . So if she says any of them again just wait and say something like "you mean __" or "you're saying it wrong. it's ___" and just correct her every time she says it. I hope I helped in some way ha I know I typed a lot sorry!
polkaspots
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 2:11 AM
1 mom liked this
Yell at her. Grab her arm and tell her you can't talk to strangers, you can't say bitch, you can't yell at your mother, stay here with me while we're walking through the store. I don't believe in hitting kids, so I can't advise you to. My daughter just turned three and she throws fits more frequently than she pees. It's hard, but teaching her right from wrong is a huge part of life with kids. My parents and I all curse like sailors. She started saying choice words and we all told her not to. It's a process.
SKLAVEN
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:44 AM

Ok now how do I get my two year old to stop whinning all the time its very annoying and then I cant understand what she's trying to say so I get upset with her, 

MamaPeanut
by Kristy on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:37 AM
If the leash is the best way to keep her safe, I'd do it.

I personally don't believe in spanking and know it does far more harm than good.

I would do a brief time out (2 minutes). Look up "proper time out technique".
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