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**Best Friend** ^^^Dilemma^^....!!! Seek advice??!!

Posted by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 5:35 PM
  • 6 Replies

 I'm having an issue with my "BFF". We have been friends since 4th grade. We kinda drifted apart in HS. We found each other about 3 years ago, we were becoming close. Our relationship grew close and I asked her to be the god-mother for my 2 y/o. She said yes, but haven't made it official yet. So moving along, we talked here and there (since our lives are completely different right now). About a month ago I went to my hometown to visit my family and my SO sister. I texted her a couple of days before to tell her I was going to be in town. She said Ok. Well, when we were at my SO sister house and it turned out that she was having a party. Later that day my "BFF" called me to let me know she was off work and I lied that my son was vomiting and we had to leave. (my son did get sick but we didn't leave right away). That was the last I ever heard from her. I just didn't feel right leaving my SO sister house when we were invited to go over. I guess that's how I was raised. I also didn't feel right having my "BFF" go over since it wasn't my house. (again, also how I was raised, to respect the other person's home). So about 2 weeks after, I went back to my hometown to visit my grandparents and I texted her days in advanced that I was going back, a day later she texted me and put "Sorry, I'm real busy...working a lot...maybe another time"... So I dropped it. Then, another week later I went back again to visit my grandparents and I texted her that I'll be in town and a few days later she texted and said, she'll be working all day... I kinda took the hint. I never heard from her again. Well I some how feel it was my fault because I lied in the first place. But then again...she would of never known if I was telling the truth or not. Maybe I'm feeling guilty because I lied to her. My mind is playing tricks on me. I think it's rude that I reached out twice after that. I live two hours away from her and my family, I never go often. I don't know what to do or think. I'm devastated. We've been friends for so long. I'm really heart broken. I didn't think I deserved to get blown off twice.  I feel bad that my son wasn't important to see. She is a very sensitive and emotional person. Tends to take things to heart. It bugs but that is who she is... What do you think? Should I try to reach out and talk to her or just let it go? I've been holding this in for a while since I have no one to turn too =( I think about this situation all the time. I miss her and I miss the way we used to be. I hope someone out there can relate to me or this situation. Sometimes I even think of writing her a letter and expressing how I feel. Should I? Please and advice or feedback. Thank you *-*

simple frown


by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 5:35 PM
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Replies (1-6):
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 6:30 PM

I would let it go. If she wants to be your friend, then it's time for her to make the effort.

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 6:50 PM

I would suggest that if it bothers you so much talk to her about it. People go down different paths and lead different lives..Does you friend have kids? She may be really focused on work to better her life or trying to reach a certain job/life goal. If it was me I would continue to reach out and make contact here and there and if it keeps coming up with the same result...let it go and try to find local friends. One reason me and my BFF have been friends for so long is because we have the ability to go long periods of time without talking but when we do reconnect its like we never stopped talking.... Life is hectic and are plans can't always match up the way we like. I am sorry you feel the way you do but you do have friends on here. Hope you figure out what to do.

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 7:24 PM
No, she don't have any children. I know from the last time she wanted to focus on her self but I don't know what she's really doing. But thank you for hearing me out!!! I needed to vent. I think I'll back off for a while. It seems that she don't make the effort to reach out to me. So I don't know. But yea, when we go a while without talking it does seem like we continued where we left off *-*
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 7:45 PM
I'm not sure. i have a lot of friends who have no children but are active in me and my daughter's lives. But I also text or skype them at least 2-3 times a week. If you don't keep up with her that often or feel the need to then just drop it and let her go. But all women have intuition as to if they are being blown off or not so she MAY have noticed it. Because none of my friends have ever ditched me because their kids were sick UNTIL I had my daughter and they were afraid of her getting sick but I have always been welcome over to their families houses. So try and work things out but next time just ask if she can and if she's not welcome then ask her if there is somewhere else you could meet up with her. Honestly I used to be the same way with my friends till I had my daughter then I realized the importance of making the people you love feel loved. And Now that I am states away it is even harder than before but i still make time out of my busy schedule. You two should get skype if you ever don't feel like visiting.
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 1:31 AM

 That's how I feel. It seems that I'm the one that always sends her texts or pictures of my son. I usually send her "friend" cards....(like the ones from the dollar tree). I never get anything back...I think I'll just let it go for now...

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 2:39 AM
When ever family and friend give me of other ppl excuses why they can't so something, I can always tell when they are lying... "Baby is sick" is one of the #1! She probably knew u were lying...

I would just talk to her. Have a grown up truthful conversation... GL
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