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20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

New trend or just plain lazy generation?

Posted by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:27 PM
  • 68 Replies

I am working on writing an Argumentative Essay for my compisition 1 class and thought cafemom would be a good place to get some opinion. 

I have decided to write it on Biological parents VS Grandparents raising kids. Of course the underlying message is going to be It is always what is in the best interest of the child. But I am taking the side of the biological parents need to be raising their babies.....unless there is a case of neglect or abuse.

Do you raise your kids? Do your parents raise them? Is there anyone out here coparenting with grandparents in place of an absent parent?

Anyone have any opinions on this topic?

I just want to say thank you ladies for you comments this post. The information you have provided has been great for my paper!! I really do appreciate the responses. Once I get the paper done I think I will post it so you ladies can read it!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CheyennesMommy2
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:30 PM
I raise my kids...i CANNOT stand to see grandparents raising there grandkids, unless the parent is completely incapable....but I have seen all to often, the parents want to party, and the kids are living with grandparents.
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Proud-mama-05
by Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:31 PM
I raise my children grandparents are the occasional baby sitter but that's about it
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tilly030409
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:33 PM

I know how you feel! We are currently coparenting with the Stepgrandmother and grandfather on the mother's side. SGM has taken a completely obsessive role with DSD. She has even refused to answer DSD if she calls her anything other than mom! I have to take a step back from my personal feelings on this topic to make a good essay but I completely agree with you!

Quoting CheyennesMommy2:

I raise my kids...i CANNOT stand to see grandparents raising there grandkids, unless the parent is completely incapable....but I have seen all to often, the parents want to party, and the kids are living with grandparents.


tilly030409
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:35 PM

I have found statistics saying that 3.9 MILLION kids are living in their grandparents home.... WTH!!!

NiCo86
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:36 PM

I am raising my children, however my grandparents raised me because my mother was an abusive drug addict.

MommieSDW
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:41 PM

I raise my own kids despite being a young mom. I feel too many authority figures with different parenting styles in their lives is detrimental to their upbringing. My family is welcome to visit and babysit but I am the parent. 

AutymsMommy
by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:43 PM
3 moms liked this

Neglect and abuse are legal terms; the absence of neglect or abuse doesn't mean that the child is in an ideal situation with a biological parent. If a parent is even simply indifferent to a child, and the grandparents WANT the child, I'm not sure how it could be argued that the bio parent/s parenting is ideal simply because they "made" the child. Indifference hurts just as much as abuse.

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














tilly030409
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:44 PM

I am sorry to hear about your mother....mine was also and spend the majority of my childhood in prison. She has been out of prison and clean for the last 6 years. I was lucky enough to have my dad who raised me. Do you think that because of the situation with your mother it drove you to be a better mother?

Quoting NiCo86:

I am raising my children, however my grandparents raised me because my mother was an abusive drug addict.


AutymsMommy
by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I'll say this.

My husband grew up in a multigenerational Italian home. His parents were immigrants, as were his grandparents. All generations could financially AFFORD to live separately, all were capable of raising their own children, but they *chose* to "coparent". It's simply how things were done, apparently, in that culture. When my husband's mother passed away (my husband was 11; mom died the day after giving birth to little brother), grandma was already there to step in.

Not every case of grandchildren living with grandparents is because the parents are irresponsible in some way (financially or emotionally).

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














ljpaszek
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:47 PM
My husband being raise by his grandparents was the most amazing thing for him!! When he was about 12 he stood up to his parents and told them he did not have the same beliefs that they did (they were/are Jehovah witnesses). His mom basically told him that he was not welcome in their home then, took his baby picture out of the family album and gave them to him for her left. His dad arranged for him to go live with his mom, my husband grandmother paid for and flew my husband to live with her. She finished raising him and he is an amazing person because of it. He is the middle child of 5. He talks to his siblings but hasn't really talked to his parents except for 1 time visiting them after he was kicked out. Only 1 of his other 4 siblings is still a Jehovah witness and he parent fully accept them all. My husband served 4 years in the Air Force and now has a successful career. He has never been in any kind of trouble (legally or otherwise), graduated high school, has some college. 2 of hippie siblings did not graduate high school, one did get their GED eventually. 1 got pregnant very young. Same one who go his GED eventually is in and out of court over drug related charges, and has fathered 2 babies with different women. Because he left his parents and were raised by his grandparents he has had such a better life. We just had our first daughter together (my 2nd child) and we her middle name is Kayson for Kay's son because my husband is Kay's son, grandma Kay the women who raised him. On iPad please excuse my typos ill fix them slowly



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