If i dont do it myself it doesnt get done! (vent.. EDT no so pissed but guilty)
Dh has been on my sh*t list lately. I know the mc and d&c was hard on both of us. Dh for the last 2 days has been hocked up on xannax because he "needs to get some sleep" ugh whate ever! we had a hugh fight last night and I said some pretty hurtful remarks and Idk. We are playing nice and I apologized for being out of line and we are back on "i love you terms". But i know i hurt him. I did feel bad until...
ds is 5y and in Kindergarten. Hes had the sniffles and a cough on and off this whole winter. I brough him to the dr at the end of november and the doc said to just keep giving him the claritin and the otc medicine. The first question she asked me was if he was in school. When i said yes, she said there is nothing we could do. Its all the germy little fingers in his class. And to just wait it out.
The cough went away for the most part with a little dry itchy throat here and there. Now since he went back to school after xmas break the cough has gotten bad again. So i want to make another appt. They dont have appts availble til monday, but said i could bring him as a walk in today anytime, we will just have to wait a little bit. I AM AT WORK! i called dh and told him to pull ds out fo school at 12 and take him to the dr's. So dh tells me that "Cant i do it tomorrow?" and i said that ds needs to go see the dr. no take him today. so then he says that he will "see how he feels at 12 if he will take him"!
Am i really going to have to leave work and take to take the baby to the dr. I am so fricken frustrated. I cant afford the time off. He is home!!! I know we are both dealing with a loss right now. And dh has been the most supportive until the night before last when his sister handed him the pills to help him sleep and he though "eff it i will take them all"! I know he is greiving too but he is being such an ass! Im so mad!
EDIT: now mainly i just feel real guilty about the fight we had. I think i was too harsh by calling him a dope head and compaing him to a drug addict. I have been trying to call him but hes not answering. I know i crossed the line with some of my remarks. I left for work mad at the whole dr. thing, and still a little mad from last night. But now that i have been sitting in my office alone with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company. I feel so bad. I appologized and he accepted my appology, but I dont know if my words caused permanent damage in our relationship. We have a wonderful marriage, but between the mc, the fight and both of our emotions running high i dont know if we can recover. I feel so guilty