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20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

Hello!! 

My husband has been driving me crazy lately with his selfish crap. I totally understand that he works all day long and has meetings to go to and people to talk to, but when he comes home it's like our child and I are non existent. Our baby is 2months and 2 weeks old and we have not really had time for ourselves, which he consistently throws in my face, but that doesn't mean he should treat us like we are not even there...right? Am I over reacting? Should I just let him be?

I mean he comes home and watches tv, plays on his phone, the computer, the PlayStation(he's going to be 30)... an example of what he does: I get the baby to sleep finally and baby wakes up a little later, he has a freaking fit that I ask him to go check on baby Enzo! Another example: I will take a quick shower, Enzo will be crying but hhusband  won't stop playing his PlayStation game to comfort baby, unless Im yelling at him to do it! Annoying!

Am I being crazy?????

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:04 AM
Replies (11-15):
LOLOSMOMMY11
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:19 PM

 YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. I THINK HE IS DEF SELFISH. JUST BECAUSE HE WORKS DOESNT MAKE IT OK FOR HIM TO TREAT YOU AND YOUR BABY LIKE NOBODIES. I WORK ALL DAY I AM A SINGLE MOM AND WHEN I COME HOME THE FIRST THING I DO IS HUG AND KISS MY SON, NO MATTER HOW TIRED OR UPSET I AM FROM WORK. I THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO HIM ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL ALSO AND HOW THE WAY HE IS TO YOU AND THE BABY AFFECT YOU AND THE BABY. I DONT THINK HE IS READY TO BE A FATHER OR JUST DOESNT WANT TO BE A FATHER.

StevieMarie
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:15 AM

I think you should have a sit down with him. I know its hard for some men, but if he is that detached, you need to get to the bottom of it. Leaving after a feeding, to show him how hard it is may backfire on you. SInce he is one to throw things in your face, he may take that and use it as ammo, leaving just to get your goat. Also, he may freak when ALL the responsibility is set on his shoulders abruptly, driving an even bigger wedge between you. no passive aggressive stuff, just sit down and tell him the truth and ask for the same thing in return!

kcrogue
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:57 AM

You're not crazy but you are not alone. I had a sit down and heart to heart with my husband about his gaming before our first came alone. Luckily our oldest almost never cried for anything so it was never an issue anyways. I new baby can be a really rough adjustment on guys anyways. Make sure he knows how important he is to you and the baby. I hope he gets it together, he has to. You shouldn't have to deal with that.  

heartagram_girl
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:41 AM

 No you are sane! Your DH needs to step up and be a man and stop pouting like a 3 year old. Maybe if he helped out a bit more, there would be more time for yall to spend alone. I know how you feel about the playstation- my DH has a XBOX 360 and he stays on it all the time. He has even told me that during the week, when he has to work, for me not to expect him to do anything for the baby- he will be too tired to deal with it. WTF? Believe me, that got my pregoo redheaded temper flared up. We are still having debates about it.

In your DH defense, maybe he feels like he has been replaced by the baby. That he is no longer the number 1 man in your life. I know, crazy. But men are like big babies.

Maybe you can talk to him about it. Hide the playstation before he gets home so you can have his undivided attention. Ask him to help out just a bit- even if it is just laying on the couch/bed with the baby near him while he plays and you take a shower. Or you can even ask a friend, neighbor, or family member to watch baby Enzo (I love that name!) for a few hours while you and DH have some time to yourselves. I do understand that yall are parents to a newborn, but that doesnt mean your marriage has to suffer for it.

DH and I have already agreed to set time aside for each other once a week- because neither one of us wants to forget that we were friends and spouses before we were parents.

You can ask him to just turn the Playstation off for a night. Remind him that his son will be this age and this cute only for so long before he starts growing up. Maybe that will jumpostart the 'daddy' act.

 

CafeMom Tickers
clau1985
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 1:45 PM
No your not acting crazy. He helped make the baby so he needs to help out with the baby. My husband does that sometimes. He will like come home and i will be like you need to help me out. He will just say im tired. If the baby is crying he is like the baby is crying. I tell him i understand youwork and are tired. But its your child and you have to help also. I spend all day with her so you must help. So you need to tell him he needs to help.
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