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Do/have ppl done this to you? Vent..kinda long.

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 5:41 AM
  • 29 Replies

I've been so frustrated the past few days. It seems like lately everywhere I go ppl are treating me like I'm a child. Like I have no business having a 2 year old and another on the way. Like I don't know what I'm doing or I'm a bad mother because I'm 22. 

It's never bothered me before. Now that more ppl are finding out that we're having another it seems like they had previously assumed dd was a mistake, and I was making the best out of the situation. That's bs! She was planned, dh in the military, medical covered, we had our own apartment and money in savings. Same with this child. 

The only difference is it seems like ppl are now making their thoughts more pronounced. "How old are you?!" "Are you sure yall need another?" "Do you have enough room?" "Where are you going to put another?"

DD had a dr. appt Monday, she even acted like we were young and nieve. The questions I asked were just smirked at..."yea that's normal" "oh that rash will go away once she gets elementary age". 

Ugh...2 things that got me the most were: When she first walked in the office she was hateful about dd's weight. The next was when I asked her about dd's eye watering. I told her I had asked the previous ped about it at her 6 month appt, before I could continue she jumped in and said, "And you've never addressed it since?" I was stunned I couldn't even speak up for myself. Yes! I've addressed it at every damn appt since then. That's one reason I switched peds..the last one didn't seem to care. After I said. well uh uh..like an idiot...I said yes, but it was blamed on allergies. She said by 3 years if it hadn't cleared up she'd refer me to a specialist..it's already been 2 years?! 

I feel like the peds are just blowing me off thinking I'm too young to know what's going on with my child..

Even some of my family is acting like I don't know what I'm getting myself into. We planned dd, just as we planned this baby. We have insurance and dh has a steady job, we own 2 cars and a house. We've been making our lives together since we were 17. This is the life we wanted and HAVE wanted for as long as I can remember. I didn't want to go to school. I wanted to be a mother, and sahm at that. Why is that such a problem for ppl? Why do I even care what they think? Why can't ppl be sincerely happy for me and this pregnancy? 

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by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 5:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ruby_jewel_04
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 5:56 AM
3 moms liked this
People suck and love to be judgmental... I'm 28, married, and am expecting baby number 4 in a week. And I STILL get shit from people who think I'm doing something wrong. Yes money may be tight, but we make it work, and our kids have everything they need. Just keep your chin up. I'm sure you're a great Momma.
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SOCO101
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:18 AM


Quoting ruby_jewel_04:

People suck and love to be judgmental... I'm 28, married, and am expecting baby number 4 in a week. And I STILL get shit from people who think I'm doing something wrong. Yes money may be tight, but we make it work, and our kids have everything they need. Just keep your chin up. I'm sure you're a great Momma.

You're right, thanks;) What gets me (and I know this sounds arrogant but..) When we go places, my little girl is so well behaved and so friendly. Then I'll run into a mom that's 35+ and her kids are so disrespectful or misbehaving. Than she'll turn around and scream and yell at them? And then she want to turn around and judge me because I'm young?! WTF? 

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AmyL3469
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:17 AM
1 mom liked this

I know how you feel. I was 21 with our first, 23 with our 2nd. They're 15 months apart. 2nd was NOT planned though lol. We're pregnant now again with our 3rd and I'm 25, will be 26 when the baby is born though. Either way. People are judgmental. I got a lot of hell for my 2nd daughter because of the kids being so close, plus my husband's step sister just gave birth to still born twins the week we found out we were pregnant. So obviously, we totally planned it that way... People just need drama in their lives unfortunately. People aren't happy for us either. I don't understand it. He's going to be 30 in a few weeks, we've been together 7 years and friends nearly 11. I mean, it's not like I'm having kids with 20 guys or something. I don't get it.

ParkersMama92
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:18 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm 20 with my second on the way. I pretty much raise Parker on my own, but we have our own place, and car... and me and this new babies father have been together for over a year and we plan on just moving in together again  He has a nice job, but works nights.


So I know EXACTLY what you mean, but the people I know are smart enough not to say anything to my face. ;)

AmyL3469
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:18 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with that! My kids are super well behaved in public, my older will be 4 in March and my younger is 2 1/2. They have manners and respect. I see people way older with less respect teaching their kids to behave the same way. It's disgusting to me. Yet, I'm an awful mom because I'm young.. Please! 

Quoting SOCO101:


Quoting ruby_jewel_04:

People suck and love to be judgmental... I'm 28, married, and am expecting baby number 4 in a week. And I STILL get shit from people who think I'm doing something wrong. Yes money may be tight, but we make it work, and our kids have everything they need. Just keep your chin up. I'm sure you're a great Momma.

You're right, thanks;) What gets me (and I know this sounds arrogant but..) When we go places, my little girl is so well behaved and so friendly. Then I'll run into a mom that's 35+ and her kids are so disrespectful or misbehaving. Than she'll turn around and scream and yell at them? And then she want to turn around and judge me because I'm young?! WTF? 


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frzmamaof4
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:22 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm 26 and have 4 children. I had my first when I was 17. Dh and I always had to have someone in our business. But I always told people to STFU because no one helps us take care of our children! People are just idiots and need to stay outta others' business! Don't worry about it mama:-)
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AleaKat
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:24 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh hun I completely understand!
I had my first at 19 and my second at 22.
Unfortunately it hasn't gotten much better. My oldest is 5 now and I'm the youngest mom in his class.
When I got pregnant with my first at 19 my hubby was in the navy and we were settled and comfortable but that didn't seem to matter to anyone. I always got treated like a dumb naive kid.
I still do sometimes now I'm 25.
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hellomilla
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this
We planned our first when we were both 20. Everyone assumed she was unplanned and tried to question every single decision we made, even things like breast feeding and carseats. It was crazy. We are now 22/23 and DH enlisted in the Army. He has been throwing around that we would like to have a second child within the next year. Every family member flips out every time we even say the word baby. Keep in mind both of our families were young parents. I just ignore it and know that we have our lives as together now as they will ever be. We have good insurance, steady pay, student loans are paid off, and we are happy. That's more than a lot of people older than us can say.

As for our ped, I absolutely adore her! I dread moving away because we will no longer have her. She treats us with respect, doesn't talk down to us and doesn't question our parenting decisions. She only offers advice when asked. We love her! Everyone should have a ped that good!
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ChocolateJunky
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:51 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry. I went through the same thing. I'm 23 with a 3 year old and 3 month old. I was extremely depressed for my second pregnancy because it seemed like no one supported us in our decision to have another baby. I ended up having PPD as a result. Once I was diagnosed, everyone seemed to back off a little bit and have become more involved. I haven't had a problem with doctors, and if I did I wouldn't tolerate it. For me, it's easier to stand up to complete strangers than it is my own family.

gingerprincess
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:57 AM
1 mom liked this

I feel your pain exactly. My kids were not planned though, but I have been a good mother to them. I know what it feels like to be looked at as if you are too young to know what you are doing. I have raised my kids all on my own and I have done a damn good job of it. My son was finally diagnosed with autism just before his 4th birthday, I'd been telling the doctors (7 diffferent ones) that he was autistic since he was 18 months old. They act like you are stupid just because you are younger than them. I have a 4 and 6 year old as well as 10 & 15 year old stepkids, I'm 22. When we take our kids out in public, people are always asking if they are all mine, saying you look too young to have kids...its rude. Just like in your situation, they do not know what it going on in your life. Not every young mother is naiive.

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