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Do you think there is a "perfect" number of kids?

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:50 PM
  • 28 Replies

Having 2 Kids Is the Perfect Number ... For Some Families

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham on January 16, 2013

number of kidsIt seems like, as parents, we all want easy answers. We want to know what the best way is to get our babies to sleep without making them sad. We want to know how to potty train them without making them hate the bathroom. We want them to dress modestly, but also express their individuality. Yes, we all want perfection. Which is why it's not surprising that there is currently a conversation on CafeMom about what the "perfect" number of children is for most families.

Sadly, the answer is not that simple. There is no one "perfect" number of kids. And there is really no way of knowing how many kids you can handle and be happy with until you have them. Yeah, yeah. It's so fun.

This is why the idea that having one child is "selfish" is truly so obnoxious. In fact, if you know you can only handle one and only be a good parent to one, then it's about the most UNSELFISH choice you can make. It's the right choice for your kid. In other families, that number could be higher.

As a mom, I am struggling with this question myself right now. We had two in rapid succession. At just 18 months apart, my children have an enviable bond that is one of my most gratifying parts of being a parent.

My kids have each other's backs. They always have. At the playground nobody better mess with either one or they will face the wrath of the other. When we moved 600 miles from our home, they had each other at the end of nerve-wracking days at a new school.

So as we decide on a third (or even a fourth just to round things out), it occurs to me that I will never know whether three (or four) is "perfect" until I try. And then, like all moms, I will have my three (or four) and will love them all so much, I could never say which one I would give away. So that number will be "perfect." In fact, maybe that is the reality. Maybe your "perfect" number of kids is the number you end up with. The end.

Maybe we are all over-thinking this a bit. In the end, the family you end up with is "perfect." There is no sense judging the mother with one child and there is no sense in judging the Duggars, either. We all make our own choices about childbearing, and assuming we can all care for and afford our children, then there is nothing wrong with choosing to have one. Or five. Or 15.

The "perfect" family is the one you make.

Do you think there is a "perfect" number of kids?

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
baby7810
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:51 PM

LOL each person has their own perfect number

AleaKat
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:53 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree but the thing about the Duggars is that she had been told that with each conception her chances if birth defects and miscarriages increases and yet they Still pop em out left and right.
That is thoughtless and selfish!
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babie113
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this

my perfect number is 3 .i dont care about others

beadingmom17
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:54 PM
I think each person has their own "perfect" number. For me, ever since I was 11 or 12, I wanted 3 kids. I have 2 and have been TTC #3 for 4 years now :( I love my daughters and if I never have another baby, I am still so blessed, but I will admit that for me, if I only have 2, I will always feel like someone is missing.
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mapendo
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 1:10 PM
1 mom liked this
i believe its God who gives you children,and at the same time i believe family planning is key,plan with your husband n all will be well
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la_bella_vita
by Bella on Jan. 16, 2013 at 1:32 PM

 No, we have 4 and couldn't be happier. It's perfect for us and our life.

mommy0f2g1b
by Megan on Jan. 16, 2013 at 1:38 PM

I believe each person has the perfect number.For me the perfect number was 3 and when I had my 3rd child I was done, I haven't even had baby fever. I love my kids more then anything else in life but knowing I can give the 3 I have the life and love they deserve makes me very happy.

MommyofSCC
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 1:45 PM

I agree that each family has there own perfect number.  What may be right for one person is not right for another person.  It is up to each family to decide and no one else

MamaPeanut
by Kristy on Jan. 16, 2013 at 2:12 PM
It's truly different for each family.

For us, right now, 2 is perfect.
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mamadismay
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 2:13 PM

 For me the perfect number is one. I don't want anymore.

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