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divorce and child support

Posted by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:36 PM
  • 9 Replies

hello i recently left my husband due to D.V. i would like to go to get a divorce i found a group that may help me since i can not afford it. but me and my husband is currently being very civil and he lives with his parents and his mom is controlling his money. he just recently got a job like 2 weeks ago. he has money bills such as courts paying for gas for his moms car to get to and from work medications and psychiatrist r just a couple so i understand cuz with out those i wouldnt let him see the kids anyways. so we agreed that he would give me something every week but we do not know for sure how much every week at the moment. i want to go actually start the divorce process but i do not know how child support works would i be able to get divorced and not demand child support at the moment? please any advice! (ps i live in illinois)

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:36 PM
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Replies (1-9):
ambermarie2006
by Amber on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:05 PM
Yes you could do that. My ex husband and my child support was written seperate from our divorce decree. The amount was agreed upon civilly. You do not need an agreement if you can be civil.
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MamaPeanut
by Kristy on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:11 PM
1 mom liked this
I would be very wary of not having something in writing filed with the courts.
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Gastromama2007
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:19 PM
DO NOT DO CHILD SUPPORT WITHOUT A COURT ORDER.

You will be burned, trust me. He will tell you how he will always pay, and then when he doesn't, you can't do anything.

Be smart, get the court order. You will regret it if you don't.
My ex was abusive. Part of his little abuse games was telling me what I wanted to hear. And if you're getting out of that, you're going to believe him. DON'T FALL FOR IT. He's not your friend, and he will screw you over if you're not careful.

Trust me.
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mandybimama
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:15 PM

My advice is to make sure there is a court order in place for child support otherwise when he decides he doesnt feel like paying for months or years on end there is nothing you can do. As the PP said, he will screw you over if youre not careful. GL!

polkaspots
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:22 PM
Honestly, I don't see the problem with waiting to do child support through the courts. If all goes well, you will already have decided between yourselves how much he will pay.
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Ameretto13
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:02 PM

Most states order child support when you go through divorce. Its unavoidable. One of the reasons its unavoidable is because there are two types of divorce, with children and without children... If you lie and say you don't have children and the court finds out they can get you for perjury. What will happen is you list the child(ren), ages, birthdates, socials, etc. The judge then makes a decision on cs based on the child's age.. And its different for every age AND income bracket. In Maine, if your stbeh was unemployed he'd be ordered to pay $38 a week... The cs goes UP by a specific amount when the child(ren) reach a certain again. That age in most states is twelve. My dh's cs went up over $100 when his ds turned twelve... It depends on the judge...... It also depends on whether or not the judge decides to get dhhs involved. If the judge gets dhhs involved, they will send a wage with holding form to your stbeh's employer. From that point on, before he even sees his check, child support will be taken out and sent to dhhs, dser- department of support enforcement recovery, and then to you. They will be your best friend! They keep track of child support FOR you. If he stops paying, they go after him. They'll take his license(s), they'll even drag him into court on your behalf, after he gets to a certain amount of back child support. And they don't mess around. Having them on your side is GREAT, its a worry free thing for you AND unless he stops working, you're guaranteed to get your cs... I know things are "civil" between you NOW... But having the cs in writing and having dhhs dser on your side taking care of everything is really the best option. I do it with both my ds and my dd's father's. Other wise, I'd never get anywhere with my dd's father. It also helps my ds's father out too. They can verify that he's paying a certain amount in cs every month and when he does his taxes they give him a print out of every payment he's made for tax purposes. It also lets him know when he's missed a payment... Every three months I get a letter telling me how much each father has paid over the last three months and (in dd's case) how much is owed in back... Its one less stress and one MORE surety in a very unsure time. 

dobrd
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 7:07 PM

09momma12, I totally agree w/MamaPeanut.. A verbal agreement means nothing to him.. He won't do it. You have it done legally Honey.. Many of us know how it goes, been there, done that.. Make everything legall work for you.. There are consequences to him if he isn't paying what he's suppose to pay.. Let the law work for you in this.. Prayers.. Take Care, Donna....

erin708
by Silver Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 7:14 PM
Ur main concern needs to be able to financially support ur child. Just because he has issues doesn't mean he should be any less responsible. Def get it done thru the courts.
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boshs1andonly
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 7:14 PM

i've never been there, but I still agree with her. better safe than sorry, if he plans on paying there's no issue with getting it in writing kwim? 

Quoting Gastromama2007:

DO NOT DO CHILD SUPPORT WITHOUT A COURT ORDER.

You will be burned, trust me. He will tell you how he will always pay, and then when he doesn't, you can't do anything.

Be smart, get the court order. You will regret it if you don't.
My ex was abusive. Part of his little abuse games was telling me what I wanted to hear. And if you're getting out of that, you're going to believe him. DON'T FALL FOR IT. He's not your friend, and he will screw you over if you're not careful.

Trust me.


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