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Did you plan your wedding in advance? How far in advance?

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 2:25 PM
  • 11 Replies

Women Who Plan Their Weddings Before They Have a Boyfriend Need Therapy, Not a Husband

Posted by Kiri Blakeley on January 29, 2013 

We've all seen those bridezillas who get so wrapped up in their wedding plans that they turn into their friends', family's, and fiance's worst nightmare. But these women make bridezillas look almost sane in comparison. They're the wedding planners. And I don't mean the people you hire to arrange your wedding. I mean women who plan their wedding years in advance of the actual day -- long before they have a proposal of marriage. Or even a boyfriend!

The New York Times had an article on these types of women and it's kind of ... creepy. I don't want to get all down on women who think that marriage is the be-all-end-all and dream about it from the time they can crawl. To each his own. They'll either have their dream fulfilled -- or they'll have it dashed and have to deal with that new reality. But there's just something so bizarre about planning a wedding, and every detail of it, right down to what soup to serve, before you even have a prospective groom, that is ... I dunno. Crazy?!

One woman, Kate Owens, describes how as a 20-something woman who wasn't even dating anyone special, she began planning her big day. For 10 years, she pored over bridal collections and bride websites, printing out pictures of hairstyles, flower arrangements, and engagement rings. She researched locations. She found the band she wanted. And she -- get this -- even consulted with a wedding planner! GAH!

All of this came to fruition eventually. At first her fiancé was a little irritated with her bossiness and his inability to contribute his own ideas and preferences -- but Kate won out eventually. Did you really think she wouldn't?

Those in the wedding biz defend this kind of thing by saying that planning your ghost wedding gives you hope that Mr. Perfect will eventually arrive. But detractors say what I say -- this is nutso. Says a clinical psychologist: "I think for some people this becomes a way of taking away their anxiety or refocusing their anxiety away from their real concern, which is meeting somebody."

Okay, so she didn't call it nutso. She's too polite for that. But I don't think planning anything down to the last microscopic detail years in advance is a good idea. You've always got to remain flexible because life changes. Not to mention that having such fixed ideals means you're bound to be disappointed.

And let's try to remember that a marriage isn't a wedding. A little less time picking out the wedding details and a little more time picking out the groom might benefit everyone.

Did you plan your wedding in advance? How far in advance?

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 2:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
WillVon
by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 2:30 PM
No planning involved for me. Just had a court wedding. Short, simple, done.
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thanush
by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 4:20 PM

We planned our wedding about 10 months ahead. Yes, we picked every detail of it. From location to, deco to what food we are having. It was fun.

on the actual day, we hardly noticed any of it though. Lol

mandyj573
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 4:55 PM

I started planning 12 months in advance. The location that I wanted was actually booked on the date I originally wanted so if I'd waited any longer, I would have been out of luck!

I did NOT start planning before I started dating DH but I did already know where I wanted my wedding to be held.

rwebb11
by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:27 PM
I started planning once I knew my now hubby had bought a ring. It was around November, December and we got engaged December 31.
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roxc25
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:00 PM

We planned to go to Vegas the night he purposed. We did not choose a official date till  month b4. Then I did not book the stuff till a week b4. We were engaged for for 11 months b4 we tied the knot.

BrittSam2011
by Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:12 PM

I had our wedding planned for about 5 years before we got married. Stuff kept happening to put it off every time. But we were engaged the whole time, so it's not really that crazy. A couple times we put it off because I got pregnant and I didn't want to be pregnant at my wedding. It was NOT going to be a shotgun wedding. Lol

Chaoz_Girl7311
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:35 PM
Two weeks I planned my wedding. It wasn't anything special. I did have a dress, cake, photographer, maid of honor and flower girl. The most I paid for was my dress that was 1300$ and the photographer was 500$. We plan to have a larger more formal wedding on our 5th year anniversary.
Hanab818
by Hana on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:49 AM
I started 9 moths before we got married. Before he proposed I never really thought about it.
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AMR320
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:55 AM
We planned our wedding in the 7 months between engagement and wedding day. I never planned or even fantasized about my wedding until I was engaged. Even then it was not very detail oriented. My in laws helped a lot because I had no clue what I was doing. It was pretty much just thrown together.
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alexislovesjr
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:22 AM

I planned it in 1 month. Luckily my MIL is a wedding planner, her mom makes wedding cakes, his uncle owns a hall and his aunt is a wedding reception supplier. His family is all into the wedding thing so they took care of everything, I just picked my colors and dress.

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