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am i being selfish?

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:48 PM
KT
  • 10 Replies
So my bestie is marrying my bro in april. i have expressed to her that i am no ok with going to a strip club for her bachelorette party, i think they are nasty and im just not comfortable. so we have been talking about just going to a friends house and drinking and having a girls night there. and we talked about it more seriousely after she went to a friends of hers party at a strip club and she told me she didnt really want a stripper either. but now her friend(maid of honor) is trying to go out friday night and then go to the friend house sat. im ok with going out to the club and drinking at what not but then she said something about if i as ok with having a guy come to the house. i really dont want to be a part of any stripperness. i think they are gross and just dont want to be around it. is this selfish of me? my sil is willing to compromise with me, And use the strip club as a honeymoon thing since her and my bro a bit kinky. i dont know what to tell her friend.
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by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cupcake_mom
by KT on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:04 PM
Bump
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moosesmom
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:09 PM
I'm going to be honest with you. I don't feel she should compromise with you. But it's really nice of her to think of you when it comes to planning a party because she doesn't have too. If you don't like what will happen at HER bachelorette party than kindly decline the offer to attend OR you could go and when the entertainment arrives you leave. But I feel like in a situation like this your feelings are really not that important. Just say "thank you" for the invite but tell them you won't be able to make it.

***if that sounded rude or it offended you, I apologize.***
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cupcake_mom
by KT on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:15 PM
The way me and my bestie soon to be sil are, when we do things together we ALWAYS think about eachother. plus she has told me she doesnt really want a stripper there. she would rather save that for her and my bro. but her friend wants to suprise her with it.

Quoting moosesmom:

I'm going to be honest with you. I don't feel she should compromise with you. But it's really nice of her to think of you when it comes to planning a party because she doesn't have too. If you don't like what will happen at HER bachelorette party than kindly decline the offer to attend OR you could go and when the entertainment arrives you leave. But I feel like in a situation like this your feelings are really not that important. Just say "thank you" for the invite but tell them you won't be able to make it.



***if that sounded rude or it offended you, I apologize.***
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moosesmom
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:21 PM
Oh ok. So if I'm understanding this correctly...

There's another friend who wants to surprise your SIL with a stripper. But your SIL doesn't want the stripper there?


Quoting cupcake_mom:

The way me and my bestie soon to be sil are, when we do things together we ALWAYS think about eachother. plus she has told me she doesnt really want a stripper there. she would rather save that for her and my bro. but her friend wants to suprise her with it.



Quoting moosesmom:

I'm going to be honest with you. I don't feel she should compromise with you. But it's really nice of her to think of you when it comes to planning a party because she doesn't have too. If you don't like what will happen at HER bachelorette party than kindly decline the offer to attend OR you could go and when the entertainment arrives you leave. But I feel like in a situation like this your feelings are really not that important. Just say "thank you" for the invite but tell them you won't be able to make it.





***if that sounded rude or it offended you, I apologize.***
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
cupcake_mom
by KT on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:32 PM
Yes. i told her that if she wanted a stripper i would just go out for a long walk or go to another room and nap or something. she told me she would rather me be a part of the party the whole time than have as stripper and that she wanted to go to a strip club with my bro as part of their honeymoon. and then she went to a strip club for her friends bachelorette party and came home and told me she deff wanted to wait and go with my bro and she wanted a chill night with the girls. I just want her to have exactly what SHE wants. regardless of how i feel about it or how her other friends feel about it.

Quoting moosesmom:

Oh ok. So if I'm understanding this correctly...



There's another friend who wants to surprise your SIL with a stripper. But your SIL doesn't want the stripper there?




Quoting cupcake_mom:

The way me and my bestie soon to be sil are, when we do things together we ALWAYS think about eachother. plus she has told me she doesnt really want a stripper there. she would rather save that for her and my bro. but her friend wants to suprise her with it.





Quoting moosesmom:

I'm going to be honest with you. I don't feel she should compromise with you. But it's really nice of her to think of you when it comes to planning a party because she doesn't have too. If you don't like what will happen at HER bachelorette party than kindly decline the offer to attend OR you could go and when the entertainment arrives you leave. But I feel like in a situation like this your feelings are really not that important. Just say "thank you" for the invite but tell them you won't be able to make it.







***if that sounded rude or it offended you, I apologize.***
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cupcake_mom
by KT on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:49 PM
But at the same time, i know she wouldnt mind if a stripper showed up

Quoting moosesmom:

Oh ok. So if I'm understanding this correctly...



There's another friend who wants to surprise your SIL with a stripper. But your SIL doesn't want the stripper there?




Quoting cupcake_mom:

The way me and my bestie soon to be sil are, when we do things together we ALWAYS think about eachother. plus she has told me she doesnt really want a stripper there. she would rather save that for her and my bro. but her friend wants to suprise her with it.





Quoting moosesmom:

I'm going to be honest with you. I don't feel she should compromise with you. But it's really nice of her to think of you when it comes to planning a party because she doesn't have too. If you don't like what will happen at HER bachelorette party than kindly decline the offer to attend OR you could go and when the entertainment arrives you leave. But I feel like in a situation like this your feelings are really not that important. Just say "thank you" for the invite but tell them you won't be able to make it.







***if that sounded rude or it offended you, I apologize.***
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moosesmom
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:09 PM
If the stripper thing isn't what you like, I don't see the problem with excusing yourself from the party at that time. There's nothing selfish about that at all! This just isn't your thing. And as much as she wants you to celebrate with her, she needs to respect the fact that this makes you uncomfortable. I don't think you're wrong and you're definitely not being selfish.
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TexasWife
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:26 PM

If she wants to save it then tell the other woman that. Hey she said she wants to save that for the honeymoon so back off.

tpat75
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:41 PM

  I don't think your being selfish at all! Tell her its just not your scene! 

cupcake_mom
by KT on Jan. 30, 2013 at 6:54 AM
thanks ladies
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