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opinions please

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:24 PM
  • 10 Replies

I have been married to my husband for almost 3 years we have a 2 yr old and i have a 7 yo son from a previous marriage. my sons dad hasn't seen him in 2 yrs he is an alcholic and not involved by his choice. my husband took on my son as his. He doesn't treat him any differently than our daughter. no he doesn't do a lot of activities like play ball or get out in the yard with him..but he does things like homework w/him, reading to him and taking care of him when he is sick. he just isn't the outdoorsy type. anyway my Mother is very opinionated and very close to my son. we recently had him tested for ADHD cause his teacher requested for us to. my husband didnt know if he had to work or not that day say i made plans for my mom to go with me to the appt. he wound up not working but still didn't go. But he wants to go to the next appt which is when we sit down w.the doctor and discuss the diagnosis and whether he needs med or Not.. my mom wants to go to this appt. she says that I "Forget to ask important questions".. which i do not. I might add in here that i am nearly 27 but she seems to forget. i know she means well, but i dont think my husband wants my mom to go in fact i know he wont want her to. well i told her today that my DH was going to go. and she got all upset saying she doesn't even understand WHY my dh would wanna go. and that she is around my son so much more and that he doesn't do much with him. she thinks my dh is lazy and is always complain cause he doesn't go to church and things that in My opinion aren't her problem. i think that if i am happy with my marriage that is waht is important..i said  He works hard he took my son on as His he wants to be there. he isn't like my ex who had a drug and alchohol problem and treated me like crap.. he works hard he is in school and workin a fulltime job..he just went to eat lunch with my son at school.. I think that my mother is out of line and needs to respect my husband. my she thinks im bein "crazy" and her and my dad said im trying to start things. am i bein crazy or is she outta line here?

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Momof2almost
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:23 PM
Would it be possible for all 3 of you to go? If not, then she should respect your wishes and just wait for you to call her after the appt is over. I'm 29 and anytime my kids have to go to the doctor for something big I like for her and DH to go because I know I will forget a question or two and with 3 of us being there I know we will cover all bases.
sumannie
by Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:32 PM
1 mom liked this
I think its y'alls responsibility but she needs to stop trying yo treat you like a child. In way it seems like she doesn't want to think that her grandson has anything wrong with him. I mean she is trying to be there for you and your son but she shouldn't act like that. Just reassure her that everything is fine and that you'll let her know if she wants to know after it is over. But if you feel like you can try to get both to go than thats up to you but I think both of you should go and she stay home or wherever.
Ameretto13
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:39 AM
2 moms liked this

OK, two things... Before you try prescription meds... Try giving ds DHA... Its an all natural supplement that's found in fish oil, its also part of the omega3 complex. My second ds has ADHD bad but I didn't want to put him on prescription meds.. I did some research and learned everything I could about DHA before I started giving it to him. Ds has made a HUGE turn around. The difference is amazing and he's only been on it since the 13th of this month. We noticed a difference in a few days.

Second, your ds is just that YOUR ds. Your dh sounds like he's making a huge effort to be there for your ds and be a part of his life. I understand why he didn't go to the first appointment, not much he can do there. But making a decision about putting your ds on meds is really something you want to have your dh there with you for. Nothing against your mama, but is she really going to be the one making sure your ds takes his meds, that the prescription gets filled on time, paying for the meds, around to watch him and see what happens? To me, that's a mother's job, not a grandma's job. 

Your mama putting your husband down and ragging on him for making decisions that don't effect her or the kids isn't right. I really hope that she doesn't do that around the little ones... Him being a student, working full time and STILL finding time to help your ds with h/w, reading to ds, taking care of him when he's ill, and going to school just to have lunch with him should prove to your mama that he's anything but lazy! And he's definately putting a hell of a lot more effort than the biodad! 

If I were in your shoes I'd tell her to back off and let me be my kid's parent. Yeah, I may forget things once in a while, but not important things like my kids or their well being. You aren't being crazy mama. You're being just that, a MAMA. Tell her to back off and take the role she actually has, which isn't as your ds's mama.

carolina_gal
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:39 AM

 This.....

Quoting Momof2almost:

Would it be possible for all 3 of you to go? If not, then she should respect your wishes and just wait for you to call her after the appt is over. I'm 29 and anytime my kids have to go to the doctor for something big I like for her and DH to go because I know I will forget a question or two and with 3 of us being there I know we will cover all bases.

 

MamaPeanut
by Kristy on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:24 AM
Totally agree!

Quoting Ameretto13:

OK, two things... Before you try prescription meds... Try giving ds DHA... Its an all natural supplement that's found in fish oil, its also part of the omega3 complex. My second ds has ADHD bad but I didn't want to put him on prescription meds.. I did some research and learned everything I could about DHA before I started giving it to him. Ds has made a HUGE turn around. The difference is amazing and he's only been on it since the 13th of this month. We noticed a difference in a few days.

Second, your ds is just that YOUR ds. Your dh sounds like he's making a huge effort to be there for your ds and be a part of his life. I understand why he didn't go to the first appointment, not much he can do there. But making a decision about putting your ds on meds is really something you want to have your dh there with you for. Nothing against your mama, but is she really going to be the one making sure your ds takes his meds, that the prescription gets filled on time, paying for the meds, around to watch him and see what happens? To me, that's a mother's job, not a grandma's job. 

Your mama putting your husband down and ragging on him for making decisions that don't effect her or the kids isn't right. I really hope that she doesn't do that around the little ones... Him being a student, working full time and STILL finding time to help your ds with h/w, reading to ds, taking care of him when he's ill, and going to school just to have lunch with him should prove to your mama that he's anything but lazy! And he's definately putting a hell of a lot more effort than the biodad! 

If I were in your shoes I'd tell her to back off and let me be my kid's parent. Yeah, I may forget things once in a while, but not important things like my kids or their well being. You aren't being crazy mama. You're being just that, a MAMA. Tell her to back off and take the role she actually has, which isn't as your ds's mama.

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alexislovesjr
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:35 AM
1 mom liked this

All moms usually dont like their daughter's DH, or may like them  but believe they can do better. Its a mom thing in my opinion. I would tell my mom to back off a little. Its the DH job to get their children to appointments (biological or not) and etc. My mom is the opposite. She perfers my DH to go because it is his job. Mom's will always have their opinions. I always just listen and dont take it to heart. My mom soemtimes loves my DH because he is very very hard working, but always has her small complaints or comments i ignore.




LilMamaK
by Kaht on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:43 AM
1 mom liked this

 Your Mom sounds controling. I say let your DH go! I have a 4 year old DD from a past relationship... my DH and I have been married for 2 years come this Feb. and will have been together 3 years come this August. He has taken my DD on like his own and treats her NO differently than his DS. My Mom wouldn't act the way yours is, but, if she did, I'd remind her that my DH IS my childs father and that I'm sorry she can't accept that. Maybe your Mom just wants to be involved in more things... but, if it's not broke, don't fix it! You Mom needs to butt out and accept that your DH may not be his BIO father, but, he is his father!

*~*Wifey To Tommy(2.4.11), Mommy to Allyana(7.5.08), StepMom to Aidan(6.5.07), & Our Angel Baby Jovanny(3.6.10)*~*

robinclements86
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:37 PM

thank you i do not want him on Meds either. is this DHA something i can just get over the counter at the pharmacy?? i am definitely going to try it.

Quoting Ameretto13:

OK, two things... Before you try prescription meds... Try giving ds DHA... Its an all natural supplement that's found in fish oil, its also part of the omega3 complex. My second ds has ADHD bad but I didn't want to put him on prescription meds.. I did some research and learned everything I could about DHA before I started giving it to him. Ds has made a HUGE turn around. The difference is amazing and he's only been on it since the 13th of this month. We noticed a difference in a few days.

Second, your ds is just that YOUR ds. Your dh sounds like he's making a huge effort to be there for your ds and be a part of his life. I understand why he didn't go to the first appointment, not much he can do there. But making a decision about putting your ds on meds is really something you want to have your dh there with you for. Nothing against your mama, but is she really going to be the one making sure your ds takes his meds, that the prescription gets filled on time, paying for the meds, around to watch him and see what happens? To me, that's a mother's job, not a grandma's job. 

Your mama putting your husband down and ragging on him for making decisions that don't effect her or the kids isn't right. I really hope that she doesn't do that around the little ones... Him being a student, working full time and STILL finding time to help your ds with h/w, reading to ds, taking care of him when he's ill, and going to school just to have lunch with him should prove to your mama that he's anything but lazy! And he's definately putting a hell of a lot more effort than the biodad! 

If I were in your shoes I'd tell her to back off and let me be my kid's parent. Yeah, I may forget things once in a while, but not important things like my kids or their well being. You aren't being crazy mama. You're being just that, a MAMA. Tell her to back off and take the role she actually has, which isn't as your ds's mama.


Ameretto13
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 12:15 AM

Its definately an otc. I buy mine at the local health food store. It can be expensive but if it works  for your lo it is TOTALLY worth it! The only reason I get mine at the health food store is because I don't have to worry about unneccesary additives that could counter act the dha's effects... Good luck Mama. 


Quoting robinclements86:


thank you i do not want him on Meds either. is this DHA something i can just get over the counter at the pharmacy?? i am definitely going to try it.

Quoting Ameretto13:

OK, two things... Before you try prescription meds... Try giving ds DHA... Its an all natural supplement that's found in fish oil, its also part of the omega3 complex. My second ds has ADHD bad but I didn't want to put him on prescription meds.. I did some research and learned everything I could about DHA before I started giving it to him. Ds has made a HUGE turn around. The difference is amazing and he's only been on it since the 13th of this month. We noticed a difference in a few days.

Second, your ds is just that YOUR ds. Your dh sounds like he's making a huge effort to be there for your ds and be a part of his life. I understand why he didn't go to the first appointment, not much he can do there. But making a decision about putting your ds on meds is really something you want to have your dh there with you for. Nothing against your mama, but is she really going to be the one making sure your ds takes his meds, that the prescription gets filled on time, paying for the meds, around to watch him and see what happens? To me, that's a mother's job, not a grandma's job. 

Your mama putting your husband down and ragging on him for making decisions that don't effect her or the kids isn't right. I really hope that she doesn't do that around the little ones... Him being a student, working full time and STILL finding time to help your ds with h/w, reading to ds, taking care of him when he's ill, and going to school just to have lunch with him should prove to your mama that he's anything but lazy! And he's definately putting a hell of a lot more effort than the biodad! 

If I were in your shoes I'd tell her to back off and let me be my kid's parent. Yeah, I may forget things once in a while, but not important things like my kids or their well being. You aren't being crazy mama. You're being just that, a MAMA. Tell her to back off and take the role she actually has, which isn't as your ds's mama.




Megzboys
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 12:33 AM
2 moms liked this



Quoting Ameretto13:

OK, two things... Before you try prescription meds... Try giving ds DHA... Its an all natural supplement that's found in fish oil, its also part of the omega3 complex. My second ds has ADHD bad but I didn't want to put him on prescription meds.. I did some research and learned everything I could about DHA before I started giving it to him. Ds has made a HUGE turn around. The difference is amazing and he's only been on it since the 13th of this month. We noticed a difference in a few days.

Second, your ds is just that YOUR ds. Your dh sounds like he's making a huge effort to be there for your ds and be a part of his life. I understand why he didn't go to the first appointment, not much he can do there. But making a decision about putting your ds on meds is really something you want to have your dh there with you for. Nothing against your mama, but is she really going to be the one making sure your ds takes his meds, that the prescription gets filled on time, paying for the meds, around to watch him and see what happens? To me, that's a mother's job, not a grandma's job. 

Your mama putting your husband down and ragging on him for making decisions that don't effect her or the kids isn't right. I really hope that she doesn't do that around the little ones... Him being a student, working full time and STILL finding time to help your ds with h/w, reading to ds, taking care of him when he's ill, and going to school just to have lunch with him should prove to your mama that he's anything but lazy! And he's definately putting a hell of a lot more effort than the biodad! 

If I were in your shoes I'd tell her to back off and let me be my kid's parent. Yeah, I may forget things once in a while, but not important things like my kids or their well being. You aren't being crazy mama. You're being just that, a MAMA. Tell her to back off and take the role she actually has, which isn't as your ds's mama.

  I agree.   I would politely tell my mother that DH is will help you remember any important questions and that you will call her to let her know how it went.   Do try the DHA first though, sometimes that and a healthy diet can do wonders for the child while prescription drugs can just muck things up.  


I love my boys

  boy kissing mom                                        

                                                    

                             


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