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Dumping your kids on anyone who will watch them seems to be the American way

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:56 AM
  • 19 Replies

So, my daughter (5.5 years) rarely has babysitters and as a result I do not go out much. Which is fine with me. However, since I've become a mother I've made friends with some other moms and something I have noticed is that dumping your kids on anyone who will babysit seems to be the American way. Other moms have invited me to go out to clubs or bars and I usually can't because I don't have anyone to babysit. I don't have a close extended family around besides my sister and she works overnights as an RN. When I tell other moms this they usually suggest I leave my daughter with whoever they got to babysit their kids and I just don't want to do that. Sometimes it seems like my refusal to use their babysitter aggravates said mothers or makes them a little angry. 

I guess I just like to be with my kid. I know that if I leave her with a stranger and something happens it is %100 my fault. I would just rather stay home with my husband and child and play games or watch TV than go out drinking.. is that so wrong??


In any event, I do get time for myself but I usually spend it by going to a ballet class or maybe a movie during the day when her father is available to stay with her. I'd rather spend my time that way than drinking.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LDennany
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:14 AM
1 mom liked this

 I only leave my girls with my parents and on the off chance that they are busy then I will have one of my friends watch them.  We also only go out in the evening maybe twice a year.  I don't like to take advantage of peoples kindness and I trust very few people with my children.

luvmybug
by Amanda on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:19 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm with you. I don't just dump my kid on anyone. I don't trust people very easily. I won't even let my own sister babysit because, even though she has a kid of her own, I don't trust her enough to take care of my dd. the only person who has ever babysat my dd besides family has been one of my best friends one time. Even though it went well, I just haven't asked her to babysit again. I have major trust issues. Lol.
melissaaytes
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:57 PM

My mom and my MIL, and our sitter who has watched our 3 yo for over a year M-F 8-4:30 are the only ones who watch our child!!!  I would never leave my kid with someone I don't know or barely know based on someone else is leaving their child with them!!  I am with you we hardly ever go out!!!  My MIL takes our daughter every other weekend for an overnight but we don't have a lot of money to spend so we have friends over and drink there, or spend time together at home and take advantage of the fact that we have no kid and blare music all night!!!

MrsWhite101610
by Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:00 PM
My mil has dd one night a week. Other than that I have her. I can't see just leaving your kid all the time.
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iamcafemom83
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:18 PM
Why not invite your friends to do some of the things you like? Ballet class, etc. one of my bff's recently introduced me to yoga, it was a great way to hang out.

It seems you have more of an issue with the drinking vs the babysitter thing. Your friends probably don't understand your reason and their aggravation could be that they think you don't want to hang out with them.
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Serenity1613
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:19 PM

So many do this.. even half of my siblings are this way and it bothers me to no end. We don't have family around, so we don't go do much. But that's fine because we are parents and we have this responsibility. Don't get me wrong, I'll have a few hours to myself and so will dh but at the end of the day I'd much rather spend time at home with my son than worry about who I'm dropping him off with. I'd love to have more alone time with my dh, but it is hard to find someone I know I can fully trust with my son.. and that's more important to us than just having a night out.

StarryRain
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:15 PM
It irritates me that there are so many girls who still feel as if other people exist to take care of their kids for them. I don't have any family nearby, and very rarely call in favors from friends or in laws. And by rarely, I mean like maybe once a month if there's special events , or in the event of an emergency. I don't trust people I don't know, and until my youngest DD is a bit more able to tell me specific things, leaving them alone with someone I don't know well is not happening.
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lyngerdam
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:19 PM

I paid strangers to watch my 4 boys - like my friends too much to inflict that kind of pain.

Baby_Avas_Momma
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:19 PM
My 22 month old has never been away from me. It's sad that our society deems it "unhealthy" to spend all your time with your kids. I have ZERO problems with a dinner date with hubby or a girls night out every once in a while, but when someone else is straight up raising your kid, than that's pathetic. I know moms who have popped their kids out and less than a week later they ship them off to someone elses house so they can go do whatever they want. It's a shame....
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happinessforyou
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:21 PM

IDK if it's the "American" way, but it seems to be the "lazy" way! lol  Good for you for actually having standards of parenting in your home :)

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