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20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

am i really a bad mom for wanting to still have fun?

Posted by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 10:58 PM
  • 38 Replies

For as long as I can remember my family gives me so much crap because I still want to go out with friends and have fun. I turned 21 this past august before I became pregnant again and when my 2 yr old is with his dad( we share custody) i would go out to bars and clubs with friends bt my family always told me I was being a terribe mom not putting him first. Now, as most mothers know, our children are o\the center of our universe and there is nothing you will not do for them, so now that this new one is on the way I wonder if I should feel guilty for thinking that it will be s nice when I can take a step back and let my hair down and be 21 for a few hrs before coming back to reality and being mommy to my children( who of course i love very much!!) Because my family sure has no problem making me feel horrible for wanting that freedom now and again....

by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 10:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mel0dy
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:00 PM

I go to the club some weekends. my SO (dds dad) stays home with her. nothing wrong with a mom going out. 

Unoriginal.
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:01 PM
8 moms liked this

What do they expect you to do when the kid is at his dad's? Sit at home and watch Little Bear all alone crying into his baby blanket? Pfft.

If your kid is taken care of, safe and not with you, and you wanna go out, then go.

megan71108
by Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:02 PM
What is wrong with going out? Your baby is safe and your number one priority. My mom is the same way it drives me up a wall
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MamaTwinkleA
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:03 PM
Having kids doesn't mean you can't have fun or that life comes tio a halt. It just means your life changes and evolves. And going out doesn't mean you don't care for your kids. I
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kalebsmomma132
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:05 PM

exactly! i could understand them saying something if i was coming home tryingto care for him but i have always always made sure he is safe and away from me if i plan to go out or have people over. they just tell me i need to have fun in other ways....but im 21 yrs old! knitting and book clubs are not fun to me!! i think it might come from my mom not wanting me to end up being like her when it came to her parenting skills. but still, i dont even live with her, let me live my life!!

ZakkarysMom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:13 PM
1 mom liked this
I wish I had someone to watch my boys so I could go out! Im getting old though.. I will be 28 in May. :(
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mckelvey1225
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:23 AM

Def should not feel guilty. You still put your children first and that is all that matters. Going out once in a while is healthy. you cant stay cooped up not having fun once in a while, I think it actually helps. I mean if you were to not have any fun at all even if it is once in a while, you would be moer cranky and possible towards your children. Going out can realy make you realize just how much you love and cherish your children.

VictoriousTory
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:43 AM
1 mom liked this

You gotta remember... that sometimes when parents say things... its for a number of reasons... Like they come from a different generation where moms were looked down on for wanting to have their own freedoms and friends and a social life outside their families... some moms think that once they become a mom that going out with friends or even dating isn't good... their mom's instilled the mom guilt on them for wanting that... Maybe they didn't have family or friends to watch their kids so they could go out and they have convinced themselves that its just something you shouldn't do.... because THEY couldn't do it... maybe they were older or didn't have the desire to do that stuff anymore and find it stupid and a waste of money... You ARE young and probably feel like you are missing out on fun stuff that your friends are doing and might miss having those life experiences with them... I had my first when I was 19 and I felt like that.... now that I am older ( Im 30 ) I feel like all that "fun" I had when I was that age really wasn't worth it... I don't talk to any of the friends I had back then... and it wasn't worth getting all dressed up and staying up late and the hangovers.. But that doesn't mean its not worth it to YOU. You do need a break from being a mom every so often... I feel like that now... like I need a hobby or something to do outside of being here ALL the time... My SO takes the dogs to the beach, goes to the rec center, goes running or surfing... and he has his "me" time... I don't have any "me" time unless its a nap or a shower. lol 

TheMommaJessie
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:48 AM

in my opinion you should have thought about that before having kids. i got pregnant at 21 i was never the type 2 party or drink & dont have friends so no biggie 2 me but 4 those that are the type that want to party they shouldnt have kids until that party streak is out of their system. but that is my opinion i will go out with hubby 2 dinner on occasion with out the kids but thats it

MomRocs1102
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:16 AM

Moms need to get out and have a good time just like anyone else.

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