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Valentine's vent.

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:22 PM
  • 5 Replies

So I've been talking to a guy that I only classify as a friend, even though I think we could be good as more than friends, for about 4 months now. We've gotten close, we text often, and we've gotten to that comfortable area where we can pretty much talk about anything.

He said he wanted to take me on a date, but didn't know when would be good for me or where to go. So we let it drop a few times. I was always the one to bring it back up. He seemed really cool with it and like he was as excited as I was about it. But now it's been like a week and a half since I've heard from him. I know litterally ANYTHING could cause this: phone issues, family issues, crazy schedule (he's in college), etc. I'm just a little too used to rejection.

In middle school and High school, boys thought it was funny to walk over to me and ask me out (either themselves or for a friend) only to respond rudely when I agreed (Laugh and ask how i thought anyone would date someone as fat and ugly as me). Then of couse my beloved dd's sperm donor (that's what I call him) walking out on me at 8 weeks gestation with the revealed truth that he had several other girls and i was nothing but a "booty call" girl to him.

Even if he DID bail on me like a lot of guys have in the past (i guess I have a lot of baggage but most days i dont let it weigh me down) I know it doesn't really matter. I would miss him at first but I'd get over it. The only thing that REALLY matters is my daughter, and most days that is enough for me. More than enough actually, I feel fufilled with her. But some days I do get lonely. I miss intimace, I miss sex. Some days I want someone to love me, and hold me, and I wonder if I will EVER find someone just right for me and get married. Or will it be just me and her forever? I suppose it will be okay if it is just me and her.

It's going on three years since I've had even a date...I've almost completely regained that virgin mentality where members of the opposite sex make me completely nervous. And wondering when is it okay to kiss/ hug/ hold hands/ have sex is back. I guess that makes me less attractive to guys my age right? (i'm about to be 23)

Idk. I guess I just gotta vent. I've never really been with a nice decent man before and he seemed like he was one, and maybe he is and I'm totally jumping the gun. But I just am starting to feel like "almost" is all I'm ever going to get. And that's a little disheartening.

I also realize "i have my whole life ahead of me", but I have a friend who's mom is 47 and never been married. Her closest friends are me and her daughter, and it's not really by choice... I just always imagined being happily married with like 6 kids (i know it's a lot but i'm from a family of ten so it's smaller than mine and i dont want them all at once, i want them spread out.), but it seems like if it IS going to happen, it's taking it's sweet time about it.

by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:22 PM
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Replies (1-5):
3angels23
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Well I know you need positive advice so here goes.... It's ok everyone can find someone it just has to be right! Hopefully he contacts you again with a good reason....I hope it works out for you in the way you want it to!

Now on the other hand... There's always lesbian!!;) it's much more fun less stress!;)
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TempestRayne
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:46 PM
Maybe you should try going after a.Guy you normally wouldn't.give a chance. I did and am now happily married to a wonderful man.
VictoriousTory
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 5:58 AM

Awww honey... maybe since you are comfortable talking to him you should tell him how you feel.... say u wanna go out on that date and just see where things go.... make sure you let him know there is NO pressure but you do like him and wanna see if it would work going to the next level. Also tell him that being honest with you is the best way to go, make sure he understands that if he DOESN'T want to go out on the date that its completely fine with you, but you have been burnt so many times in the past you don't have any time to play games anymore. Finding love is hard.... I had to kiss A LOAT ( not literally kiss... but you know ) of frogs before I found my prince... and there were times I didn't think anyone would want me either because I had a lot of baggage too....  thought i knew what men wanted from me... and I naively thought using sex as a weapon was the way to get them.... I figured that is what ALL men wanted... but when you find a REAL man its not... believe me. When you find that special person there are no games and you don't have to think about the next move... things just come naturally.... and you seem like a really sweet, good person, so I am sure its going to happen for you! *hugs* 

foodie.at.heart
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:11 AM

 

This......

Quoting TempestRayne:

Maybe you should try going after a.Guy you normally wouldn't.give a chance. I did and am now happily married to a wonderful man.


 

 


Reina13
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:38 AM

We as women really are our own worst critics. I understand letting the past color your judgement, but until he absolutely gives you reason to doubt him, just let it be. If he does turn out to be a jerk, then just move on. You are obviously raising your daughter on your own as a strong single mom, so dont let something as trivial as a man get you down.



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