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My brother moved in without asking.

Posted by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:16 PM
  • 22 Replies
My house is 1000 sq. ft. And has 5 people living in it, my husband and I and our 3 children. My 24 year old brother showed up 2 weeks ago unannounced and started sleeping on the couch. He has no job but says he will start putting in applications today, he usually finds jobs very easily but doesn't keep them long. Since he has been here my husband and I have had zero private time because my brother is always here! He sleeps at different times of day and night, or for 14 straight hours. My kids are put out because they have to be quiet and not play around while he is asleep or in a bad mood, I'm put out because my work space is in the living room and I haven't been able to do much, my husband is put out because he works 6 days a week to pay bills and support his family but he has a grown man sleeping on his couch all day doing nothing. I don't know how to ask him to leave, he has emotional issues, but he has to go because there is tension brewing here. Advice?
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by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Kick his rear out if he is not contributing in any way.  His comfort is not important to the family since it interferes with the growth of children since children are naturally noisy at times and have active play time.

boshs1andonly
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree. It's unacceptable for him to not contribute, then on top of that, want you your family to change their habits for him. Tell him frankly that it's not working out and he needs to find other living arrangements

Quoting frndlyfn:

Kick his rear out if he is not contributing in any way.  His comfort is not important to the family since it interferes with the growth of children since children are naturally noisy at times and have active play time.


TheJs
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:38 PM
1 mom liked this
kick him out
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Michelle.10.3
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:41 PM
I agree with you both about him having to leave. He doesn't contribute. I wouldn't ask him for bill money but I would like if he picked up his own dirty clothes and fast food trash. I don't know how to ask him to leave without hurting his feelings. I don't want to come off as a cold person.


Quoting boshs1andonly:

I agree. It's unacceptable for him to not contribute, then on top of that, want you your family to change their habits for him. Tell him frankly that it's not working out and he needs to find other living arrangements

Quoting frndlyfn:

Kick his rear out if he is not contributing in any way.  His comfort is not important to the family since it interferes with the growth of children since children are naturally noisy at times and have active play time.



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Mommy2fourchics
by Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this
Omg! I could have written this word for word two years ago! It's hard because its family, with that said hrs gotta go! I felt with it for two yrs and SO and I almost split!

Quoting Michelle.10.3:

My house is 1000 sq. ft. And has 5 people living in it, my husband and I and our 3 children. My 24 year old brother showed up 2 weeks ago unannounced and started sleeping on the couch. He has no job but says he will start putting in applications today, he usually finds jobs very easily but doesn't keep them long. Since he has been here my husband and I have had zero private time because my brother is always here! He sleeps at different times of day and night, or for 14 straight hours. My kids are put out because they have to be quiet and not play around while he is asleep or in a bad mood, I'm put out because my work space is in the living room and I haven't been able to do much, my husband is put out because he works 6 days a week to pay bills and support his family but he has a grown man sleeping on his couch all day doing nothing. I don't know how to ask him to leave, he has emotional issues, but he has to go because there is tension brewing here. Advice?
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boshs1andonly
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh i completely agree with you. When I lived with my future in laws (we married a few months after I moved in) we didn't pay bills but I cleaned up after myself, helped drive SIL around when needed, stuff like that. Even if he couldn't contribute money, he needs to be more considerate and not make your life harder. Honestly you're not doing him any favors by letting him get comfortable kwim? so tell yourself you're being a good sister by giving him the kick in the butt that he needs to get it together :) 

Quoting Michelle.10.3:

I agree with you both about him having to leave. He doesn't contribute. I wouldn't ask him for bill money but I would like if he picked up his own dirty clothes and fast food trash. I don't know how to ask him to leave without hurting his feelings. I don't want to come off as a cold person.


Quoting boshs1andonly:

I agree. It's unacceptable for him to not contribute, then on top of that, want you your family to change their habits for him. Tell him frankly that it's not working out and he needs to find other living arrangements

Quoting frndlyfn:

Kick his rear out if he is not contributing in any way.  His comfort is not important to the family since it interferes with the growth of children since children are naturally noisy at times and have active play time.




VictoriousTory
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:27 PM
2 moms liked this

I wouldn't change YOUR life so he can sleep and do nothing... Tell him you love him and you know your family but he needs to find somewhere to go ASAP and get a job. Also explain to him that he can't sleep at all hours, leave his trash around and not do ANYTHING while he stays there. Let your kids play normally if its in the afternoon or morning and he is sleeping. Vacuum, wash dishes, whatever. And don't stop using the living room as your work space, explain to him thats something you do and if he doesn't like it he can go to another room. He's the one that chose your house, he doesn't HAVE to be there and its not like he is working nights and only gets to sleep during the day. This is your life and your family and he has to respect that. The longer you don't lay down some ground rules the more he is going to get comfortable being a lazy ass because he thinks he can get away with it. 

alexislovesjr
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:34 PM
1 mom liked this

My bro tried to do that with me with his new wife and step-kid. I finally just said "so ya'll have been here a while? When are you going back to her moms cause I dont remember asking you guys to move in?" Maybe I would have let them if they werent lazy, jobless, moochers that sleep till 2pm and expect me to care for their toddler while they sleeped without asking.Plus she would try to smoke in my house which is not allowed because my kids have asthma. Glad they're gone! Didnt need 3 more kids!

Kick him out!

Mom2Phoenix2011
by Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:56 PM
1 mom liked this
I am sorry but anyone who has stayed on my couch knows it is a couch in the living room. I tip toe and am quite for no one. If you want to sleep you know what reasonable hours are. My kids do not need to be quite for anyone. Unless there is an absolute good reason for my child to be quite. If you want quite or privacy from 5am to 10pm at the earliest for me then my house is not the place for you
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frndlyfn
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 3:31 PM

BUMP!

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