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Biological Father

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 9:24 PM
  • 25 Replies

When I got pregnant with my daughter 6 years ago my boyfriend wanted me to get an abortion and said he wasn't the father. He was the only one I had ever slept with. I met my husband when I was 2 months pregnant and 6 months later we got married and he wanted to put his name on the birth certificate and she has his last name. Here it is 6 years later and her biological father is trying to get information about her and want to be a part of her life. Can he somehow get his parental rights after all these years? 

by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 9:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KanPsMommy
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 10:51 PM

Yes he can but he will have to petition for the DNA test and if he has a good enough lawyer he could get you for lying on federal forms since you obviously knew she wasn't your hubby's and still had him listed on the b/c (unless of course you live in a state that assumes paternity in a marriage). Contact a lawyer to see what you can do about protecting her rights. I'm in a similar situation only it's just 3 months instead of years for me.

HisUsmcWifey
by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 10:53 PM
1 mom liked this

He could go to court and try to fight it but he wouldn't have much of a case. It's considered abondenment after "x" amount of years of no contact. If your DH signed her birth certificate then he is her father. I would keep him out of her life unless he's some upstanding guy, which from your statement he seems like the total opposite. I'm going through something similar now. My daughter is 6 and her "sperm donor" hasn't been part of her life ever really. We were married and then he deployed and left when she was 9 months old. He didn't come home for good untl she was 2 and was home for a month before he just up and left us. When Gianna turned 3 I met my DH now and he's been her father for the past 3 years and he is the only father she ever knew. I'm trying to get the state to take away his rights so my DH now can get her adopted. It's a long and expensive process but if the state takes my ex's rights its one less thing to worry about. My ex is a loser, he sells drugs and does riods and he just recently beat the crap out of his new wife and is in the middle of another divorce so theres no way in hell I want my child around him.

beadingmom17
by Silver Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 10:53 PM
He'd have to go to court for it.
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AutymsMommy
by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 10:55 PM


This is absolutely untrue. If he can prove paternity, he will have very good chances in court, regardless of who signed the bc.

Quoting HisUsmcWifey:

He could go to court and try to fight it but he wouldn't have much of a case. It's considered abondenment after "x" amount of years of no contact. If your DH signed her birth certificate then he is her father. I would keep him out of her life unless he's some upstanding guy, which from your statement he seems like the total opposite. I'm going through something similar now. My daughter is 6 and her "sperm donor" hasn't been part of her life ever really. We were married and then he deployed and left when she was 9 months old. He didn't come home for good untl she was 2 and was home for a month before he just up and left us. When Gianna turned 3 I met my DH now and he's been her father for the past 3 years and he is the only father she ever knew. I'm trying to get the state to take away his rights so my DH now can get her adopted. It's a long and expensive process but if the state takes my ex's rights its one less thing to worry about. My ex is a loser, he sells drugs and does riods and he just recently beat the crap out of his new wife and is in the middle of another divorce so theres no way in hell I want my child around him.



I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














GirlWSemiAuto
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 10:58 PM

 Call a family law attorney and get a consultation. He would most likely be granted some access/rights to her if he pursued it. Talk to an attorney so you know how to proceed to protect yourself and your daughter.

ruby_jewel_04
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 10:58 PM
It didn't matter who signed theft birth certificate. Its still abandonment. He's never seen her or been involved. He won't be able to get much now.


Quoting AutymsMommy:


This is absolutely untrue. If he can prove paternity, he will have very good chances in court, regardless of who signed the bc.


Quoting HisUsmcWifey:

He could go to court and try to fight it but he wouldn't have much of a case. It's considered abondenment after "x" amount of years of no contact. If your DH signed her birth certificate then he is her father. I would keep him out of her life unless he's some upstanding guy, which from your statement he seems like the total opposite. I'm going through something similar now. My daughter is 6 and her "sperm donor" hasn't been part of her life ever really. We were married and then he deployed and left when she was 9 months old. He didn't come home for good untl she was 2 and was home for a month before he just up and left us. When Gianna turned 3 I met my DH now and he's been her father for the past 3 years and he is the only father she ever knew. I'm trying to get the state to take away his rights so my DH now can get her adopted. It's a long and expensive process but if the state takes my ex's rights its one less thing to worry about. My ex is a loser, he sells drugs and does riods and he just recently beat the crap out of his new wife and is in the middle of another divorce so theres no way in hell I want my child around him.





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HisUsmcWifey
by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 11:02 PM

 

no, actually its not. Just because he is her bio father doesn't mean he can win any case. After so many years the courts consider him leaving and not caring abandonment. I'm in the process of it right now. I have sole, full custody of my daughter and even if my ex wanted to see her I have the say so on it. Not just that but because he has been absent from our childs life for 4 years the courts don't even see him as her "father".

OP's DH is obviously not her DD's bio father but in court he would stand up as an awesome person to have taken care of this child that isn't his from day one, where as the "real" father would look like the douchebag that he is for not being there and suggesting that OP have an ABORTION. I have a hard time believing any judge, in his right mind is going to hear that and say "oh yeah at first you didn't even want the child, nor where you there at ALL, and now  you want to be part of her life!? Oh sure!"

Quoting AutymsMommy:

 

This is absolutely untrue. If he can prove paternity, he will have very good chances in court, regardless of who signed the bc.

Quoting HisUsmcWifey:

He could go to court and try to fight it but he wouldn't have much of a case. It's considered abondenment after "x" amount of years of no contact. If your DH signed her birth certificate then he is her father. I would keep him out of her life unless he's some upstanding guy, which from your statement he seems like the total opposite. I'm going through something similar now. My daughter is 6 and her "sperm donor" hasn't been part of her life ever really. We were married and then he deployed and left when she was 9 months old. He didn't come home for good untl she was 2 and was home for a month before he just up and left us. When Gianna turned 3 I met my DH now and he's been her father for the past 3 years and he is the only father she ever knew. I'm trying to get the state to take away his rights so my DH now can get her adopted. It's a long and expensive process but if the state takes my ex's rights its one less thing to worry about. My ex is a loser, he sells drugs and does riods and he just recently beat the crap out of his new wife and is in the middle of another divorce so theres no way in hell I want my child around him.

 

 

 

 

KanPsMommy
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 11:03 PM
Wrong. Only she knows if he was the only person she had ever slept with. For all the courts know she could have been a former prostitute at the time of conception. Not saying that's the case but there is nothing documenting that she tried to contact him after the birth or him even acknowledging that the baby might be his. For all anyone knows he could have just heard it through the grape vine that the baby might be his and is interested in finding out. They have to KNOW the baby is there's for it to be considered abandonment.
Quoting ruby_jewel_04:

It didn't matter who signed theft birth certificate. Its still abandonment. He's never seen her or been involved. He won't be able to get much now.


Quoting AutymsMommy:


This is absolutely untrue. If he can prove paternity, he will have very good chances in court, regardless of who signed the bc.


Quoting HisUsmcWifey:

He could go to court and try to fight it but he wouldn't have much of a case. It's considered abondenment after "x" amount of years of no contact. If your DH signed her birth certificate then he is her father. I would keep him out of her life unless he's some upstanding guy, which from your statement he seems like the total opposite. I'm going through something similar now. My daughter is 6 and her "sperm donor" hasn't been part of her life ever really. We were married and then he deployed and left when she was 9 months old. He didn't come home for good untl she was 2 and was home for a month before he just up and left us. When Gianna turned 3 I met my DH now and he's been her father for the past 3 years and he is the only father she ever knew. I'm trying to get the state to take away his rights so my DH now can get her adopted. It's a long and expensive process but if the state takes my ex's rights its one less thing to worry about. My ex is a loser, he sells drugs and does riods and he just recently beat the crap out of his new wife and is in the middle of another divorce so theres no way in hell I want my child around him.





AutymsMommy
by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 11:03 PM

She never filed abandonment; she let the state assume her dh was the father.


Quoting ruby_jewel_04:

It didn't matter who signed theft birth certificate. Its still abandonment. He's never seen her or been involved. He won't be able to get much now.


Quoting AutymsMommy:


This is absolutely untrue. If he can prove paternity, he will have very good chances in court, regardless of who signed the bc.


Quoting HisUsmcWifey:

He could go to court and try to fight it but he wouldn't have much of a case. It's considered abondenment after "x" amount of years of no contact. If your DH signed her birth certificate then he is her father. I would keep him out of her life unless he's some upstanding guy, which from your statement he seems like the total opposite. I'm going through something similar now. My daughter is 6 and her "sperm donor" hasn't been part of her life ever really. We were married and then he deployed and left when she was 9 months old. He didn't come home for good untl she was 2 and was home for a month before he just up and left us. When Gianna turned 3 I met my DH now and he's been her father for the past 3 years and he is the only father she ever knew. I'm trying to get the state to take away his rights so my DH now can get her adopted. It's a long and expensive process but if the state takes my ex's rights its one less thing to worry about. My ex is a loser, he sells drugs and does riods and he just recently beat the crap out of his new wife and is in the middle of another divorce so theres no way in hell I want my child around him.







I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














HisUsmcWifey
by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 11:08 PM

Statutes don't necessarily provide a time period to define abandonment, but often base the finding of abandonment on evidence of an intention not to return.

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