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4give n 4get... Can it be done???

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:46 PM
  • 11 Replies

This May make 10yrs together. Married 3yrs. We have a 8yr old n a 5mth baby. Hes been by my side thru parents death 2 battles with cancer. My true best friend. He admitted to cheating 2yrs ago with a stranger a complete one night stand. I took him to be tested even though he says they used a condom. We talked it over and cried. Decided to stay together and work it out. I don't trust him at all. To the point that i won't give him a passionate kiss when he leaves in the morning b/c I dont want him horny at work. (He cheated at work) I don't know what to do... I know he regrets what hes done but I can't help having doubt.

by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
thenameshailie
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:49 PM

Marriage Counselling 

6under1roof
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:00 PM



Quoting thenameshailie:

Marriage Counselling 


I agree.

It's not really fair to him for you to say "OK, I will stay and work through this" if you're not actually putting your heart into working through it.

You'll have to learn to trust him again, and marriage counselling might help teach you how.

The hurt isn't going to go away, but hopefully you can learn to trust him again.

Could he try finding a new job?

brittany208
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:17 PM

Yes, you need to decide to forgive him. Which, in this case, means moving on like the past never even happened. I strongly suggest marriage counseling to help you work through your issues. Yes, you have good reason to feel the way you do, but wouldn't you rather choose a strong marriage moving forward than one stuck in the past?

bfairbanks
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:27 PM
I don't think you every fully forget. I left my dh almost 4 yrs ago and got with someone else. When dh and I got bk together I told him about it, it took a long time for him to forgive me but he hasn't ever rly forgotten it. Nor have I. I regret it everyday but I won't ever do it again. We have been able to work through it and he no longer brings it up but there are times when I know it still bothers him. But deep down he knows I am sorry and he is able to trust me now. Counseling is one thing but for dh and I we was able to work it out by talking it through every time he would get angry I would just be quiet and let him vent, maybe you and him should sit down and talk about it again just to know where he stands and how sincere he is about regretting it.
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Nicoles2LilRams
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:37 PM
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Mistakes are made... It was a one night stand, not an affair.  He told you about, which means that he felt horrible and wanted to come clean to you.  I think it probably won't happen again. 

I agree with some couples counseling, to help you move forward. 

LaLa813
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 4:02 PM
He's not the type to go to counseling. I know it frustrates him when I bring it up or he can tell something will remind me of it. I chose to stay b/c I knew there are more good times than bad.
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LaLa813
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 4:04 PM
Oh n he's been working at this place for 11 yrs. He changed locations so there's no running into her but b/c of his job there's always the possibility of it happening again.
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bitchplease420
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 4:59 PM
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Cheater cheater pumpkin eater
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Bri060492
by Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:04 PM
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then you go to counseling... then ask him to come along with you for support.

Quoting LaLa813:

He's not the type to go to counseling. I know it frustrates him when I bring it up or he can tell something will remind me of it. I chose to stay b/c I knew there are more good times than bad.


MomRocs1102
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:29 PM

I think people can learn to forgive, but never forget at least thats me

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