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how do i support my friend

Posted by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:32 AM
  • 11 Replies
she is leaving her abusive cheeting husband. And her parents want her to stick it out and isnt very supportive. How do i help her through it
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by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LongBeachLiz
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:39 AM
Can she stay with you?
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frndlyfn
by Silver Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:45 AM

Continue to be her learning shoulder to weather this storm.   Cheating is a hard thing to recover from especially when the partner is also abusive.

sissy852
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:45 AM
unforonatly sp i live 3000 miles away


Quoting LongBeachLiz:

Can she stay with you?

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MaryCimino
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 9:00 AM

Be there if she wants to talk, I know first hand it isn't easy. Hell my mom called me a whore when I left him after he tried to kill me! If she needs help be there, even if it's just bringing her some food for her new place.

Helpful hints for her: Get a PO box for legal use, that way he can't use those to find her new home.

Get a new phone and Number, the best option is a cheap prepaid one, that way it's harder for him to contact her and if he gets her new number she can easily ditch the SIM card.

Women Shelters are your friend, they have security and most are free.

If she is taking the car have it checked for bugs, I learned this the hard way when I had to hire a mechanic to change my flasher (I was pregnant and too big to get under the dash myself) and we found a cell phone! Turns out he had it rigged up to silently call him when I turned on the ignition. He would then use the GPS feature to find out where I was going and listen on my conversations in the car. He received an extra 5 years to his 30 year sentence for that one.

I know I sound paranoid but experience has taught me to be extra careful after leaving an abusive relationship.

TempestRayne
by Donna on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:07 PM
whoa
Quoting MaryCimino:

Be there if she wants to talk, I know first hand it isn't easy. Hell my mom called me a whore when I left him after he tried to kill me! If she needs help be there, even if it's just bringing her some food for her new place.

Helpful hints for her: Get a PO box for legal use, that way he can't use those to find her new home.

Get a new phone and Number, the best option is a cheap prepaid one, that way it's harder for him to contact her and if he gets her new number she can easily ditch the SIM card.

Women Shelters are your friend, they have security and most are free.

If she is taking the car have it checked for bugs, I learned this the hard way when I had to hire a mechanic to change my flasher (I was pregnant and too big to get under the dash myself) and we found a cell phone! Turns out he had it rigged up to silently call him when I turned on the ignition. He would then use the GPS feature to find out where I was going and listen on my conversations in the car. He received an extra 5 years to his 30 year sentence for that one.

I know I sound paranoid but experience has taught me to be extra careful after leaving an abusive relationship.

yinyang6788
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 7:13 PM

let her know that you are. she may not even know what help she needs.

EmmaZate
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 7:26 PM
He bugged your car??? What on earth? I have heard the other stuff from other people before, but never a cell phone rigged to call! I'm so glad I didn't drive when I left my abusive ex... I would have never thought to look there.

Quoting MaryCimino:

Be there if she wants to talk, I know first hand it isn't easy. Hell my mom called me a whore when I left him after he tried to kill me! If she needs help be there, even if it's just bringing her some food for her new place.

Helpful hints for her: Get a PO box for legal use, that way he can't use those to find her new home.

Get a new phone and Number, the best option is a cheap prepaid one, that way it's harder for him to contact her and if he gets her new number she can easily ditch the SIM card.

Women Shelters are your friend, they have security and most are free.

If she is taking the car have it checked for bugs, I learned this the hard way when I had to hire a mechanic to change my flasher (I was pregnant and too big to get under the dash myself) and we found a cell phone! Turns out he had it rigged up to silently call him when I turned on the ignition. He would then use the GPS feature to find out where I was going and listen on my conversations in the car. He received an extra 5 years to his 30 year sentence for that one.

I know I sound paranoid but experience has taught me to be extra careful after leaving an abusive relationship.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
GUTTADABOSSLADI
by Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 10:17 PM

Her parents are stopid for wanting her to stay there in get her ass whooped. If you are a friend let her stay no matter how far the distance because he may just kill her, so do whatever you can for her no matter what it is she needs you now more than ever.

SeelyGoose
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 10:23 PM

Don't worry about what her parents think, or rather, don't let it affect how you are with your friend. Be there for her, and only her. If she needs to vent, let her vent, if she needs a place to stay, your door is open. Just be there for her and as corny as it sounds, let her know you're a safe place to go to (mentally or physically). 

spiritedsoul
by on Mar. 12, 2013 at 12:05 AM

Just be there for her, help her find resources in your area for victims of domestic violence. The worst part about being in this kind of situation (My ex was abusive)...People tend to blame the victim & make it seem as if leaving is harder than sticking it out. Leaving my ex was the best decision I ever made. Just remain consistent with her, express your love for her, & ensure her that shes making the right decision & that you will be with her through it. I didn't have a friend like you & because of that I put off leaving a lot longer than I should have! Props to you for standing up & being a great friend! <3

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