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Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:02 PM
  • 13 Replies


This is so disturbing to me, not only what is said by the woman or by the male responder, but the comments after! Why all the hate and racism?! Can't a person be with someone of a different race because they feel a connection with that person? I am disgusted!!!!



White women's opinion of black women & a brother's response Please take a moment and read this.Pretty Deep! Thumbs up to this black man.. Enjoy.


It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!

Dear Jamie: I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes... I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know. Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA RESPONSE

Dear Jamie: I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses.

Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.

Read your history! It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could> never> date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given. Signed, Black Royalty Wow!! We must pass this on to make the day of the Black Queens and remind our black kings of what they have.

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Simple-Beauty
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:17 PM
3 moms liked this
I suppose that's an interesting analysis of why black men date white women, though I can't say that it applies to the women I know who are either married to or in long term relationships with black men. Nor is the opposite true for the white men I know who married black women.

Skin color aside, if you're with someone because they're easy to control, there are obviously bigger issues than outsiders' opinions of the relationship.
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September2013
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:44 PM
I've heard from alot of males that this is true.. In my opinion it makes since, n he set her straight, not all women are to be run over regardless color. But he set the record straight..
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KristenFowles
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:45 PM
I've read this.

It was very interesting.
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Donna.June
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:50 PM
Lol, dayum!




I'm Hispanic, btw.
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Simple-Beauty
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:15 PM
1 mom liked this
No, he gave his opinion on the topic, I'd hardly consider that "setting the record straight".

If you can't form an opinion on a topic without undermining another person's relationship, you don't have a very strong argument to begin with.

My cousin is white and in a very long term relationship with a black man, they share similar interests and love each other, he's not with her because she's docile, that's a ridiculous blanket statement.

His response is ignorant, he must not have a very broad frame of reference concerning the demeanor of white women, or know many black men in happy and healthy relationships with white women.


Quoting September2013:

I've heard from alot of males that this is true.. In my opinion it makes since, n he set her straight, not all women are to be run over regardless color. But he set the record straight..
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September2013
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:18 AM
Lol she asked his opinion, n he gave her the truth.. Bc with some women it is true.. Which i stated some women, nt all regardless of color. That's his experience, n what other men have told him. So just bc it may have been what u didn't want to hear that's his view n being a black man himself, i guess he knows. I personally could careless about what color someone is my bf/ fiance/babys father isnt black hes Filipino, black, and white. And myself im nt fully black. But i have heard from black men that's the reason. But for some it may not apply, n some it does. I feel he was completely blunt about it. N i understood what he ment.



We


Quoting Simple-Beauty:

No, he gave his opinion on the topic, I'd hardly consider that "setting the record straight".







If you can't form an opinion on a topic without undermining another person's relationship, you don't have a very strong argument to begin with.







My cousin is white and in a very long term relationship with a black man, they share similar interests and love each other, he's not with her because she's docile, that's a ridiculous blanket statement.







His response is ignorant, he must not have a very broad frame of reference concerning the demeanor of white women, or know many black men in happy and healthy relationships with white women.






Quoting September2013:

I've heard from alot of males that this is true.. In my opinion it makes since, n he set her straight, not all women are to be run over regardless color. But he set the record straight..


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
TempestRayne
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:57 AM
1 mom liked this
WHy can't peoe just be together because they love eachother?
Simple-Beauty
by Gold Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:30 AM
2 moms liked this
Unlike you, he didn't use the word "some", his opinion seems to be of ALL white women, which is a really ignorant generalization. It would be no different than me saying that I only know lazy black men with criminal histories, and that's why white women won't bother with them. It's not a fair or true statement to either black men or white women.

Opinions like his (and the white woman he's responding to) are why there's a huge wedge between black and white people in the southern states. Racism isn't a one way street and it will never end until both sides learn to be respectful of each other.

In this guy's opinion, white women aren't good wives and mothers, they aren't happy with their bodies, and they learned basically all they know from black women; it isn't true.



Quoting September2013:

Lol she asked his opinion, n he gave her the truth.. Bc with some women it is true.. Which i stated some women, nt all regardless of color. That's his experience, n what other men have told him. So just bc it may have been what u didn't want to hear that's his view n being a black man himself, i guess he knows. I personally could careless about what color someone is my bf/ fiance/babys father isnt black hes Filipino, black, and white. And myself im nt fully black. But i have heard from black men that's the reason. But for some it may not apply, n some it does. I feel he was completely blunt about it. N i understood what he ment.





We



Quoting Simple-Beauty:

No, he gave his opinion on the topic, I'd hardly consider that "setting the record straight".









If you can't form an opinion on a topic without undermining another person's relationship, you don't have a very strong argument to begin with.









My cousin is white and in a very long term relationship with a black man, they share similar interests and love each other, he's not with her because she's docile, that's a ridiculous blanket statement.









His response is ignorant, he must not have a very broad frame of reference concerning the demeanor of white women, or know many black men in happy and healthy relationships with white women.








Quoting September2013:

I've heard from alot of males that this is true.. In my opinion it makes since, n he set her straight, not all women are to be run over regardless color. But he set the record straight..


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Navywifetk
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:15 PM
I wanted to smack the girl for writing something like this and the guy that replied to her letter doesn't have his facts straight about white women. Not all of us are easy and weak. I don't think anyone should be judged for who they are with. I'm from a really small town in the South and a women with black men are frowned upon just the same as people who are gay. I don't live there anymore for that reason. It's sad that there is still racism in 2013.
Nicoles2LilRams
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:51 PM

They both made generalizations.

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