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I was too young to be a mother - ETA

Posted by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:09 PM
  • 294 Replies
15 moms liked this

 I hear that sentiment expressed a lot, even from my own mother. I just think it's a silly excuse and it kind of irks me when I hear it. I think being a mother is a choice, and unless you give that child up for adoption you've made the decision to woman up and be responsible.

I was 19 when I got pregnant with DS. I made the choice to get married and have a baby, so I have put him first ever since.

Thoughts? Am I being overly sensitive?

ETA - I think a lot of people misunderstood the post. When my mother, and others say they are "too young to be a mother" it always seems to be meant to excuse some degree of neglect or ineptitude. Also, the funny thing is that my mother was 26 when she had me (her first).

I've never had someone question my ability to parent or imply that I can't do it because I was young. I'm not sure if it's because I wasn't in a typical 19 y/o position/lifestyle or because I have always behaved like an older woman. Or perhaps it's even because I don't look like or dress as if I were your typical young mom. Some people never grow up, while others are mature at a very young age.

by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
erin708
by Silver Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:11 PM
2 moms liked this
I feel the same way. Everyone makes their own decisions. U make the best of it. Nobody forced them into being moms.
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EmmaZate
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:15 PM
6 moms liked this
I agree. I was "too young" by many people's standards, but I stood up and did the best I could. I made mistakes, like every mother does, but I learned and moved on. That's what you are supposed to do as a mother.
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ambermarie2006
by Amber on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:15 PM
4 moms liked this
I feel the same way completely. I had my 1st right after high school, and 3 weeks after my 18th birthday. I chose to keep her so I grew up quickly and became the mom she needed.
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GirlWSemiAuto
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:16 PM

 The strange thing is it seems like the women in question were all older than me when they became moms. I know it's hard when you're very young or if it's an unexpected pregnancy, but sheesh. You make the baby, you keep the baby, so you should be the one to take care of the baby. (Lol. I know I'm preaching to the choir.)

Quoting erin708:

I feel the same way. Everyone makes their own decisions. U make the best of it. Nobody forced them into being moms.

 

ZombyMommy
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:16 PM
18 moms liked this

I think that shows like 16& Pregnant glorify young moms and don't honestly portray how hard the job is. Not everyone has a mom they can drop the kid off to so they can go out clubbing like those girls. 
I work at a community outreach center and I see young moms come in all the time. They are all so happy to be giving their guys a baby and then he up and leaves, leaving them feeling lost and alone. They didn't want the baby, they wanted him. Most of them consider the kid an accessory, not a person. It's really sad.

 

mlogsdon
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:26 PM
21 moms liked this

I think it's a crap excuse. I know several women who were teen moms, and they are GREAT mothers. Actual age doesn't matter, I think, it's the maturity level. Some never hit it, no matter how old they are ;-)

mlogsdon
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:26 PM
2 moms liked this


Quoting ZombyMommy:

I think that shows like 16& Pregnant glorify young moms and don't honestly portray how hard the job is. Not everyone has a mom they can drop the kid off to so they can go out clubbing like those girls. 
I work at a community outreach center and I see young moms come in all the time. They are all so happy to be giving their guys a baby and then he up and leaves, leaving them feeling lost and alone. They didn't want the baby, they wanted him. Most of them consider the kid an accessory, not a person. It's really sad.

 

That is very sad. 

GirlWSemiAuto
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:27 PM
Arg! That mentality is so frustrating! Are these mostly low income young mothers?
Quoting ZombyMommy:

I think that shows like 16& Pregnant glorify young moms and don't honestly portray how hard the job is. Not everyone has a mom they can drop the kid off to so they can go out clubbing like those girls. 
I work at a community outreach center and I see young moms come in all the time. They are all so happy to be giving their guys a baby and then he up and leaves, leaving them feeling lost and alone. They didn't want the baby, they wanted him. Most of them consider the kid an accessory, not a person. It's really sad.

 

PeaceMuch
by Kali on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:36 PM

 I agree completely. I have never regretted the decision to have my boys.

boshs1andonly
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:39 PM
Yes I think its a crappy excuse. I hear it from someone I know and its irritating. She says its easier for me because I was 26 (8 years older than her). And I said no one made you get married and pregnant within 3 weeks of meeting a guy. Those could have been (I say could have because there are always exceptions) bad choices regardless of your age. Maybe its just time to suck it up.
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